Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride
by Allaine
Summary: Animated JLA. Inspired by Maid of Honor. Wonder Woman had chemistry that night, but not with Bruce Wayne.
1. Chapter One

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (1/??) Author: Allaine Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement. Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: Up to the episode "Maid of Honor". Feedback: Please, please, please!! Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood. ___________________________________  
  
(Author's Note #1 - Asterisks denote dialogue from the actual episode.)  
  
Chapter 1  
  
***"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll never have fun again," Audrey said dolefully as she perched on the railing around the top of the Eiffel Tower.  
  
"You don't have to marry him," Wonder Woman pointed out as she came up behind her.  
  
"Yes, I do," Audrey replied. Her tone suggested it was an inevitability she'd resigned herself to. "But I still have time for one more fling."  
  
Then she hurled herself from the tower.  
  
Diana stood transfixed for a fraction of a second. She'd never imagined that Audrey had been speaking _literally_ when she talked about a "fling". Then she instantly flew after her.  
  
"Audrey!" she called, shocked that the young woman had done something like this. Yes, her old life was about to end, and a new one about to begin, one she obviously did not look forward to, but to consider taking her own life!  
  
As she fell, however, Audrey laughed. Her laughter was merry and pleased, and as Diana caught her before she was splattered across the ground, she considered that Audrey hadn't been so literal after all. Perhaps it was just an impulsive "thrill ride".  
  
"Are you insane? What were you thinking?!" Diana demanded as she set Audrey back on her feet.  
  
Audrey sighed. She looked up at the much taller superheroine and, with a gesture that was almost tender, pushed Diana's hair back so that it wasn't hanging in her face. "I was thinking that we should call it a night," she responded, showing yet again her skill for evading tough questions. "I have an engagement party tomorrow." She turned and walked away.***  
  
Diana watched her walk for a moment. Since meeting the Princess of Kasnia, Wonder Woman had saved her from a half-dozen kidnappers, paparazzi, her own bodyguards, and now a fall from the tallest landmark in Paris. Yet her face and manner seemed untouched by care or worry. Freedom from worry practically defined her life, nothing but parties and traveling and shopping. Audrey was undoubtedly a very spoiled young woman.  
  
But their night together could have been a lot worse, Diana reflected as she began to follow her. She'd been shanghaied by Audrey into accompanying her, for the sole purpose of protecting her so the princess could enjoy a night of clubbing. It could have been an interminable evening with a self-absorbed, vapid aristocrat. As it turned out, however, being spoiled was Audrey's worst failing. She was intelligent, vivacious, and at times even self-deprecating. Another woman might have resented Wonder Woman for the times she stole the spotlight without even trying. Audrey seemed to delight in it.  
  
And Diana admitted to herself that this was the kind of night she'd been looking for, a fun evening on the town. In a way Audrey had been the perfect chaperone. She'd even helped Diana pick out a new dress and complimented her looks. Wonder Woman had been focused on something else at the time, but she'd been silently grateful for the appreciation. Audrey had claimed she "corrupted" Diana, but she didn't feel ashamed in the slightest.  
  
So she felt as if she owed Audrey something more than just saving her life. And perhaps that jump had been more than just a bungee jump sans cord.  
  
"You know," Diana said, breaking the silence, "that's the third time tonight you've ended up in my arms."  
  
Audrey stopped and looked at her, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Diana counted on her fingers. "One, when the kidnappers tried to carry you away and I caught you. Two, when I flew us away from those photographers. Three, just now."  
  
"Ah," Audrey said innocently. "Well, you are very good at it. Obviously Superman is not the only member of the Justice League who is good at that." She cocked her head. "Are you sure you don't have to be flying off by now? Volcano erupting in the South Pacific? Terrorist attack in West Africa?"  
  
"It's my night off," Diana said simply, and Audrey laughed. "Besides, I'm not convinced you don't still need saving."  
  
Audrey stopped laughing and looked away. "You are very good at getting what you want, aren't you?"  
  
"Actually, I was just thinking that you were very good at not telling me what I want to know."  
  
"I'm sorry about before," she said quietly. "It was just something that came over me. Call it preparation. Compared to the plunge I'll be taking with my fiancée, falling from the Eiffel Tower is nothing. I knew you would catch me, but I don't want you to think I take you for granted." Audrey looked back at Diana. "I've learned to trust you with my life, you know."  
  
Diana was surprised to feel a trickle of blood enter her cheeks. She'd been thanked by a thousand innocent lives, but her simple words had touched her. "It's all right," she assured Audrey. "You know, we're more alike than you think."  
  
"Oh?" Audrey asked. "You're tall, I'm not. You're a brunette, I'm a blonde. You save lives, and I am a party girl. You are serious, I am flighty."  
  
"First of all," Diana replied, "you're selling yourself short if you think you can't be serious. I hear it in your voice when you talk about your impending marriage." She chuckled. "I see it in your face when I bring it up too," she added when she saw Audrey's body stiffen with the "m" word. "Second, we're both princesses, you and I. So I know what it means when you talk about your duty to Kasnia, Audrey."  
  
"Then you know why I have to marry him," Audrey replied.  
  
"I know why you think you do," Wonder Woman told her. "I know that for centuries queens were considered good for only one thing, the production of male heirs. But this isn't that world any more. What makes you think you couldn't rule Kasnia in your own right when you inherit the throne?"  
  
Audrey frowned. "I am sure I could, but why would I want to? I don't want the pressure that comes from being a world leader. I don't want to be responsible for the decisions that affect the lives of Kasnia's people. Look at me, Diana. I've lived my whole life without responsibility. My fiancée has worked with our ministries for years. He will make those decisions, and I will return the favor by having our children."  
  
"And so you'll marry a man you don't love because you don't want to make those tough decisions?" Diana asked, surprised.  
  
"Since when have kings and queens married for love?" Audrey replied sardonically.  
  
Diana sighed and resumed walking with her. "It's not a question we have to worry about on Themiscyra."  
  
"Ah yes," Audrey said, her tone instantly becoming light again, and not a little mischievous. "All those women. Tell me, what do you Amazons do for fun?"  
  
Wonder Woman smiled. "I could tell you, but then you wouldn't be the one doing the corrupting, would you?"  
  
Audrey actually coughed as she stopped. "You shocked me," she said after a moment. "I'm impressed." She turned to face her and took Diana by the wrists. "You simply must be in my bridal party, Diana. All my other bridesmaids are from the wealthiest families in Kasnia, and I don't like any of them. I need a friend there with me."  
  
Diana stared at her. "We haven't even known each other one day, Audrey. Plus, I'm not sure you want an Amazon at a wedding. It's not exactly an Amazonian ritual."  
  
"Which is why you should come. It will be a new experience for you," Audrey replied. "And I feel like I've known you for much longer." She paused. "Saving my life was quite an icebreaker," she explained, although something in her eyes suggested that wasn't the only reason.  
  
"I don't know," Diana said, stalling, but Audrey was a second away from going into full "pout" mode. "All right," she finally promised. "I'll come to the wedding - barring alien invasion or something equally serious. And if anybody comes near my leg with a garter, I'm putting them through a wall."  
  
Audrey crowed with delight, finally letting go of Diana's arms. They felt suddenly cool, and she regretted the departure for a moment. Then Diana shook her head regretfully and sighed. Just because they'd done a few things together that night which Wonder Woman had no plans of repeating didn't mean . . .  
  
"And the party tomorrow night," Audrey told her. "Or tonight. It's almost morning."  
  
"A deal," Diana said. "And since it _is_ morning, you were right before. We should call it a night."  
  
Audrey's eyes sparkled as they left.  
  
To be continued . . .  
  
Author's Note #2 - Not sure how far this story will go. Depends on reader response. 


	2. Chapter Two

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (2/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Maid of Honor".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
(Author's Note #1 - Asterisks denote dialogue from the actual episode.)  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Princess Audrey - no, Queen, or was she either now? - banged on the doors of her bedroom one last futile time before she spun away and lurched toward the bed, her head reeling.  
  
Her father . . . Vandal . . . poison . . . the space station . . .  
  
If she were the mere party girl that many people were content to believe her to be, she might have curled into a fetal position right then and not moved for hours. But Audrey, princess or not, was more than that. As Diana had said, she could be serious when she needed to be.  
  
Diana - her insides crawled with shame even as she mentally asked herself "What would Wonder Woman do?"  
  
First, she would take stock of the situation.  
  
Her new husband, Vandal Savage the Third, had turned out to be Vandal Savage the First. She had always referred to Vandal as a "much older man", but now she would laugh at that if the situation were not so grimly unfunny. Vandal claimed to be tens of thousands of years old, and from the way she'd seen those scratches on his cheek vanish, not one minute after she put them there, she halfway believed him.  
  
Whether he was immortal or not wasn't the issue. What mattered was that he was Prince of Kasnia, by virtue of his marriage to Audrey, and sat on the Kasnian throne now that her father was hopelessly paralyzed. A condition Vandal was responsible for, having admitted to poisoning her father.  
  
The remaining sense of panic was burned away by a new sensation, a burning anger at what Vandal had done to her family.  
  
Worst of all, however, was the fact that Vandal had hijacked the international space station, equipping it with some sort of rail gun that could attract, aim, and fire asteroids at Earth. Even if his mad plan failed, Audrey realized that the ensuing war would destroy her country and its people.  
  
Unless he could be stopped before he went too far.  
  
And he _could_ have been stopped if she'd listened to Diana. Perhaps not at the wedding - Vandal had given Diana no time to talk as he cunningly blasted her into unconsciousness. But there had been the scene in Diana's cell. Angry words had been exchanged. Audrey had dismissed her as a "raving lunatic". As it turned out, the Kasnian princess was the insane one.  
  
_Are you insane?_  
  
The words Diana had said to her at the base of the Eiffel Tower crept unbidden into her mind, and she winced at the memory. She'd told Diana that very night that she trusted the heroine. Was her trust so easily given and taken away?  
  
She couldn't do this on her own. Damn him, Vandal had her own soldiers following his orders, not hers. Part of this, she knew, was Kasnia's long history of male rulers. True, there had been a few queens, but in this part of Europe, the queen's role generally was birthing the next king. That was why she'd been promised to Vandal, wasn't it? But Audrey suspected it had more to do with Vandal himself, and that bizarre Colonel Vox. They had swayed her army's allegiance.  
  
If she and Kasnia both survived this, she wondered if she could have any faith in her men again. Perhaps . . . the only person you could really have faith in was another woman.  
  
And just because the door was locked didn't mean she couldn't leave. This castle was centuries old, and her father - she permitted herself a solitary tear for him, and she promised herself she would find the antidote to the poison that had felled him - had learned long ago that locking the bedroom door wasn't enough to keep his wild child in.  
  
Darting over to the wall, it was a simple thing to push the false stone and slip through the entrance that appeared behind the tapestry. Audrey slipped through and disappeared.  
  
____________________________  
  
It would have surprised both women to know that they were thinking remarkably similar things at that moment. For her part, Wonder Woman was silent as she hung suspended from the wall in her dungeon cell. The metal that encased her hands was too strong even for her. Evidently Savage had been prepared for the arrival of someone like her.  
  
Diana cursed herself. Great Hera certainly wouldn't help an Amazon like her, one that charged blindly into a situation without thinking, and got herself into a total mess. What had she been _doing_? How could she have expected Audrey to believe her, after she'd wrecked three Kasnian jets and hurled a tank through the wall of the church where Audrey was being married?!  
  
And she didn't have proof, either. She had only suspicions. Diana had asked Audrey if Kasnia had any involvement in the recent technology thefts, and she had denied it. Diana had believed her too, but now she saw the flaw in her questioning. What if Kasnia was stealing technology on Vandal Savage's orders, not Audrey's father's?  
  
Diana still felt a hatred for Savage since her unplanned excursion back to World War II, and now it burned twice as hotly. He was going to plunge the world into yet another war, and this would be worst of all, but one definite loser would be Kasnia and poor, sweet Audrey.  
  
Sweet Audrey . . . that was why she'd flown after her. She'd felt a connection between the two, and on some level, Diana had thought Audrey would take her at her word. She said she trusted Diana, didn't she? When Diana told her Colonel Vox had tried to kill her, wouldn't that be enough?  
  
Diana had lashed out at her earlier, but really, she couldn't blame Audrey. She was the one who stormed in like a madwoman. She couldn't really have expected Audrey to believe her after they'd only known each other for a day or two, even though the princess had called her friend and invited her to join her bridal party. Could she? Then why had Audrey's rejection hurt her so?  
  
No one had told her what Savage was up to, but she knew it couldn't be good. The Justice League would have to handle it without her, for now. At least Batman knew where she was. They'd find her sooner or later.  
  
If Savage didn't do something first.  
  
Her head dropped. No wonder she felt so alone.  
  
__________________________  
  
Batman more than knew where she was. Without her JLA communicator, she couldn't know that he was hiding above her, not more than ten yards away. He would have acted sooner, but there were several men guarding her, and so he'd waited for an opportunity. That had not come, and from what he was hearing from Green Lantern, the Martian Manhunter, and the Flash, they would need Wonder Woman very soon.  
  
He'd moved from his original hiding place, and he drew a special batarang from his belt, one that would explode a few moments after it made impact. It would distract the guards, and this was little different from a half-dozen henchmen in an abandoned warehouse.  
  
As he prepared to throw, however, something happened. He heard the footsteps on the stone floor, and he knew it was a woman. And only one woman could be down here at a time like this. The Princess - who Wonder Woman had suggested in her hotel room wasn't all that bad, but who struck him as a stupid young woman with her head wedged firmly in the sand - had returned.  
  
Perhaps she'd grown accustomed to the idea of being married to the ruler of the world. All the shopping she liked.  
  
Princess Audrey marched up to the head of the detail. "Sergeant," she said imperiously.  
  
Batman could see Wonder Woman's head rise.  
  
The sergeant stiffened. "Yes, your Majesty."  
  
"And don't you forget it," she said coyly, but could the Batman detect a hint of nerves underlying her words? That perhaps she was glad to hear the words "your Majesty" leaving his lips? "My husband has received word that the Justice League will be mounting another attack on the castle. Apparently this little snake was only a feint."  
  
Batman was puzzled. He knew there was no attack.  
  
"Therefore your services are required upstairs," she went on. "The prince wishes to reinforce his men on the walls, and so you will be needed in the control room."  
  
Now he knew, and he revised his opinion of the princess slightly upward.  
  
"But your Majesty . . ." the sergeant blustered.  
  
Audrey arched an eyebrow. "You disobey me? Your Queen? Who brings you an order from the acting King?"  
  
That had broken the soldier, and he dutifully left with his men. Audrey had reassured him with the observation that Wonder Woman couldn't escape, men or no men. She'd made as if to follow, but she remained behind.  
  
Then the princess took a rifle from the wall and went over to Wonder Woman's cell. "Hello, Diana," she said calmly.  
  
"Princess," Diana replied.  
  
"Are we no longer on a first-name basis?" Audrey asked.  
  
"I'm just a lunatic," Wonder Woman said. "And you're the ruler of Kasnia. I doubt I'm still on your list of people to go clubbing with."  
  
"True," Audrey answered. "You're not really an expert on fun, aren't you? Although you were a good student the other night." She paused. "I thought you were a good friend too."  
  
Diana glared at her. "I was," she retorted. "And sometimes a friend has to tell you what you don't want to hear."  
  
Audrey brought the rifle up so that it was pointing at Diana's chest. "You're the first person who wasn't afraid to," she said.  
  
Alarmed, Batman pulled out a bolo that would immobilize the Princess' arms, but he would have to get into position first.  
  
Diana remained impassive. "Is this how you repay me?" she asked softly.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Shifting her aim slightly, Audrey blasted the lock off of Diana's cell door. Dropping the firearm, she pulled the door open and hurried inside.  
  
"Audrey?" Diana asked uncertainly, her surprise evident.  
  
Audrey glanced at the special bonds holding Diana's hands in place. Then she looked back at the Amazon, and Diana could see the remorse in her eyes. "Now I know why you were the only bridesmaid I could call a friend. I seem to treat my friends in the most beastly ways. Diana, can you ever forgive me?"  
  
"There's nothing to forgive," Diana said, flushing as she felt warmth rushing into her face. "I went about it so completely wrong . . ."  
  
"Diana, please," Audrey interrupted her. "I told you I trusted you, something I never even said to my - husband." She pronounced the last word with a great deal of malice. "I betrayed us both tonight."  
  
"I realize this is a feminine moment, but could you let someone who knows what he's doing unlock those?"  
  
Audrey gasped and spun around. "Where did you come from?" she asked the Batman.  
  
"And how long have you been there?" Wonder Woman added, frowning.  
  
"Long enough that I would have saved you out of pure boredom if the princess hadn't shown up," Batman said neutrally as he managed to free Diana's right hand within seconds.  
  
"Don't forget, you're speaking to an Amazon," Audrey said coolly, folding her arms. "They don't need men to save them. And men are only interested in themselves."  
  
"We're not all as bad as Vandal Savage," Batman responded as he worked on Diana's other hand. "Just like not all women are as good as Wonder Woman," he added with a touch of apology.  
  
"I'd already figured the latter part out," Audrey replied, smiling at Diana.  
  
Diana smiled as well, and as Batman told her the shocking details about what Savage was up to, she swore that he would be stopped, as much for Audrey and her country as for anything else.  
  
__________________________________  
  
***"You've got a great deal of rebuilding to do," Diana observed. It was perhaps a trifle unnecessary, since they were standing together in the ruins of the Kasnian palace. It had been completely leveled by an incoming meteor, courtesy of Vandal Savage's mass driver. Of course, Savage hadn't intended to smash his own castle. That had been Batman's doing. Wonder Woman now knew that his intended target had been Paris, and she was very glad that Savage was annihilated in the blast, buried under tons of stone and metal.  
  
"I never liked the palace anyway. Drafty," Audrey replied lightly. She moved to a higher point. "But maybe now there's a chance for me and Kasnia to make a new start," she mused.  
  
Diana watched her and thought it more than likely.  
  
Their discussion was halted by the emergence of Vandal Savage from the rubble, however. Diana watched in horror as the war criminal stood up from an explosion he never should have survived, and escaped from a grave he never should have dug out of. As his bones appeared to snap back into place, she realized that Savage had some sort of tremendous healing factor, and perhaps this explained how he could resemble his grandfather so closely. Because he was his grandfather.  
  
"Seize that thing!" Audrey ordered, pointing in revulsion at Savage. And this time, her men obeyed her.  
  
"I don't know how you survived," she continued, approaching Savage. She was so small compared to him, but she had complete control. "But I promise that you'll pay for your crimes in full."  
  
Unbelievably, Savage was more than able to respond. "Do your worst, child," he sneered. "I'm immortal. I can't be killed."  
  
That explained a lot, Diana thought.  
  
Audrey thought of her father, raised an eyebrow, and smiled wickedly. "We'll see." She watched as they took him away.  
  
Diana moved to speak to her again, but Batman appeared next to her. Wonder Woman looked at him and decided she wanted to speak to Audrey alone. "You know," she said to him, "we never did get to finish our dance."  
  
Batman had absolutely no expression. "I don't know what you're talking about," he finally replied.  
  
"If you say so," Diana said.***  
  
He turned and left, and she smiled. Evidently it was a conversation he didn't want to continue. She hoped he realized she would never tell anyone that he was Bruce Wayne.  
  
She caught up with Audrey. "What are you going to do with him?" she asked.  
  
"For one thing," Audrey answered, "I hope to extract from him the nature of the poison he gave my father. Perhaps there is an antidote. In the meantime, he says he can't be killed. But who said anything about killing him? Let's see how he enjoys 25,000 years in prison."  
  
The princess looked around and saw they were basically alone. "Why didn't you go with the Batman?" she asked.  
  
"I'm not finished with you," Wonder Woman said.  
  
Audrey looked away, ashamed.  
  
"No, wait," Diana continued, realizing the princess had misinterpreted her words. "I didn't mean to suggest I was angry. I'm really not, Audrey. It doesn't matter what happened before. What matters is you came back."  
  
"If I'd listened to you sooner, a lot of this might not have happened," Audrey said softly.  
  
"I made mistakes too," Diana told her. "Look, either we can blame ourselves, we can blame each other, or we can put it behind us. I say we put it behind us. How about you?"  
  
Audrey nodded after a moment. "All right, Diana." She sighed. "You said that sometimes friends have to tell each other things they don't want to hear, right?"  
  
"That's right."  
  
"What is going to happen to Kasnia over the next few days, Diana?"  
  
Diana had already considered this. "The space station has been destroyed. Kasnia handled much of the financing, so that's not a big deal. But three American ships were destroyed by that first meteor, Audrey." She put her hand on Audrey's shoulder. "Dozens of American sailors lost their lives. The United States is going to want something in return. I would suggest giving them Savage. Let them try him as a war criminal, which he is. You may also have to grant the U.S. some other form of concessions."  
  
Audrey clenched a fist. "They can have him - after I've had a few days to deal with him." Then she reached up and squeezed the hand Diana still had on her shoulder. "This is going to be a very hard time. Thank you, Diana. I . . ."  
  
"What?" Diana asked.  
  
" . . . I need you," Audrey whispered.  
  
Diana's eyes widened. "You what?"  
  
Audrey turned around so that Diana's hand fell away. "You saw what happened tonight," she said. "My fiancée was a psychopath. My own soldiers obeyed his commands, not mine. My father cannot move or speak." She folded her arms as if she were cold. Perhaps she was, for she was outside and not dressed very warmly, but Diana suspected it had little to do with the temperature. "I feel very alone right now, and now more than ever, you are the only person I can trust." She winced even as she said the words. "I realize you must think of me as such a liar when I've showed how little my trust is worth . . ."  
  
"Audrey, stop," Diana said, taking her hand again. "I thought we agreed to put that behind us. And I think your trust is a thing of great value. But I would be a poor choice for an advisor."  
  
"You're a princess too," Audrey reminded her.  
  
Diana sighed. "Can you promise not to repeat what I'm about to tell you?" she asked.  
  
"Of course. We're keeping each other's secrets already, after all."  
  
"Last year I was expelled from my homeland," Diana said quietly. "I broke one of Themiscyra's oldest laws, and for that my own mother was forced to disinherit me and order me never to return." She looked away, her eyes sad. "I've only seen her once since then. So I would be a poor role model."  
  
"You're also Wonder Woman," Audrey said stubbornly. "You're a hero, and no matter what you did on your island, you still know what it's like to be a princess. Diana, I have complete faith in your guidance. And I don't just want an advisor. I need a friend. It will be very lonely, not being able to trust my own government. I'm a veritable Amazon myself, because I no longer have complete confidence in the men around me! And you were right the other day. We are more alike than I realized. I lost my mother too, you know."  
  
Diana closed her eyes. "For a JLA member to become affiliated with the Kasnian government . . ."  
  
"I'm not asking you to become our new Foreign Minister!" Audrey interjected. "The world doesn't have t to know. You can help me in what they call your 'unofficial capacity'." She took Diana's other hand. "Please," she said desperately. "I showed you how to have a good time. Now you have to show me how to lead. I don't think I can do it alone."  
  
Looking into her pleading eyes, Diana knew she couldn't say no to her. There was something about Audrey that spoke to her, and she realized it wasn't just about helping her. She really wanted to spend more time with her.  
  
A lot more.  
  
"All right," Diana whispered. "I'll do it."  
  
Yesterday Audrey might have kicked up her heels and cheered. Tonight she just exhaled and smiled in relief. "Thank you, Diana. I knew I could count on you." She turned around. "But I think I'd better be getting back. I need to take the reins and see what is happening."  
  
"And I'd better check in with the Justice League," Wonder Woman replied.  
  
Princess Audrey - Queen Audrey, she now thought with more confidence - looked back at her. "Will you come tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"If I'm not saving the world, yes," Diana promised her. She grinned. "And maybe even if I am."  
  
Audrey laughed. "Even I'm not worth that much," she said. She stood on her tiptoes, gave Diana a friendly peck on the cheek, and left.  
  
Diana put a finger to her cheek. "Maybe you are," she murmured.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	3. Chapter Three

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (3/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Maid of Honor".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
(Author's Note - While only Chapters 1 and 2 included dialogue from "Maid of Honor", this chapter and those that follow will probably use dialogue or refer to events that took place in subsequent episodes. In such instances, asterisks will be used to identify such moments.)  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Audrey, what's going on?" Diana asked as she emerged from the elevator. They had to be several floors below ground level. Audrey was waiting for her. "What was so urgent?"  
  
"You will understand in a minute, Diana," Audrey replied quietly. She wore a simple black dress. Most of her wardrobe had been incinerated in the ruins of the palace. "But first, I must ask that you go through those doors." She pointed to a set of double doors to the left. "There you will find representatives of the United States."  
  
"The American government?" Diana said cautiously. "Is there trouble?"  
  
Audrey sighed. "Hopefully not, if this goes well. But please, treat me as Queen Audrey, not your friend, Diana. As you told me two nights ago, for now it's better if our relationship, when noticed at all, is seen as purely professional."  
  
Diana understood and nodded. "Of course, Queen Audrey," she replied.  
  
"Thank you, Wonder Woman." But Audrey's eyes glimmered with amusement for a brief moment before she turned and left through a different set of doors to the right.  
  
Making her own way to the left, Diana discovered at least a dozen American men and women in military and civilian attire waiting on one side of a glass partition. "Glad you could make it, Wonder Woman," one of the men in suits said, offering his hand.  
  
She recognized him, along with a couple generals. "Mr. Secretary of State," she said politely, accepting his hand and shaking it. "I wasn't given a full explanation as to why we're gathered here. Perhaps you could fill me in?"  
  
The Secretary was about to respond when Queen Audrey swept in to the room from the other end, flanked by two officers. "Welcome to Kasnia," she said to them. "I am grateful you chose to come."  
  
The military men scowled as the Secretary's face became cordial but impassive. "Your Highness," he said. "How is your father today?"  
  
"There has been no change," she told him. "We have learned the nature of the poison that did this to him, but as of yet we have not located an antidote."  
  
"Poisoned? How did you learn this, and from whom?" the Secretary asked. Diana had of course given a full report to the League, but few details had leaked out to the world governments.  
  
Her jaw tightened. "From the man who ordered it, Mr. Secretary. From Vandal Savage."  
  
She gestured to the partition, which separated them from another room, this one with only four bare walls and a floor. A door opened and two physically imposing soldiers wheeled in a third man. He was securely strapped to a stretcher, which was then set so that he could face the others.  
  
Diana realized what the room reminded her of. It was reminiscent of the execution chambers where prisoners were given lethal injections in certain countries.  
  
"Vandal Savage III?" the Secretary asked. "You have him? Alive?"  
  
"If I could find a way to have him dead, I would," Audrey said dryly. "But as you shall see, that's easier said than done."  
  
Savage looked at them all and leered at them. "How nice. More children."  
  
"On behalf of Kasnia," Audrey told them, "I offer my sincerest apologies for the actions taken by the Kasnian government under this man's regency. He is a war criminal, and he is responsible for the destruction in the Atlantic Ocean that cost your government three of its warships. I have invited you here today to turn him over into your custody. In case you were afraid of some kind of trick," she explained, "I asked that Wonder Woman be present as well. I owe her my life, you see, and your government made no objections to her presence."  
  
"Who would object to a heroine of her stature?" the Secretary asked. "Especially one who wears the red, white, and blue."  
  
Diana had never told anyone that her choice in costumes had nothing to do with the American flag, and she felt no need to correct this man now. "I just want to see Vandal Savage receive justice."  
  
"How can we be sure this is the real Vandal Savage?" a general asked suspiciously.  
  
"Wonder Woman witnessed the things Savage's body is capable of," Audrey told him. "Isn't that right?"  
  
Diana nodded. "Mr. Secretary, through some sort of contact with interstellar radiation, Vandal Savage has found a way to cheat both death and the aging process. I myself witnessed him survive the meteorite that leveled the royal palace the other night. The Israeli government," she mentioned, "might be interested to know that he is the same Vandal Savage who was a Nazi war criminal in the 1940s."  
  
"You're saying he cannot die?" the Secretary of State asked, incredulous.  
  
Audrey went to the intercom. "Show our guests the wonder that is Vandal Savage," she told the soldiers in the other room.  
  
Savage rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Do you have any idea how boring torture is?"  
  
One of the sergeants drew his handgun and shot him twice, once in the thigh and once in the stomach.  
  
Several of the Americans gasped or screamed, but Diana watched calmly as Savage writhed against his bonds for a short time. Then, panting heavily, he raised his head. "Pain," he growled, "like all other sensations, loses its luster after a while."  
  
"I object to this display, Queen Audrey," the Secretary of State said angrily. "This kind of torture is not acceptable in the United States!"  
  
"But we are in Kasnia, not the United States," she replied, "and this display is about saving Kasnia."  
  
Vandal Savage's cries redoubled now as his torn flesh slowly regrew. The bullets in his abdomen and thigh popped out of the wounds and plinked on the floor, as if the wounds were mouths spitting seeds from a bite of watermelon. Muscle and skin knit back together until the only sign of an injury was the blood that had dripped down his chest and onto his pants.  
  
"That," Diana said coldly to everyone in the room, "is the real Vandal Savage."  
  
Audrey had left the intercom on, and he heard Wonder Woman's remarks. "I'm offended," he sneered. "There will only be one Vandal Savage. Imitations need not apply."  
  
"You may try him in one of your courts, or one of your military tribunals," Audrey told them. "You can even try him before the U.N. It is not my concern what you do with him. I also have a Colonel Vox in custody who was Savage's number-two man in this enterprise. He's not exactly - talking very much, but I'm sure the men the Justice League captured on the space station will confirm that Vox was their immediate superior officer."  
  
"Needing a couple scapegoats to save your country's hide?" an Air Force general asked.  
  
"They're not scapegoats if they're the ones responsible," Audrey replied coolly.  
  
"She's right," Diana volunteered, wanting to help Audrey without sounding biased in her favor. "The Justice League will be releasing a complete report on our encounter with Savage and his men. It's our opinion that King Gustav and Princess Audrey were in no way involved with Savage's conspiracy."  
  
"You can't just turn back the clock by handing these men over, Queen Audrey," the Secretary of State warned her.  
  
She smiled bitterly. "I wish I could, Mr. Secretary, or my father would still be king of Kasnia and the royal palace would not be a stone quarry." Audrey turned away from Savage's cell. "I am sure our diplomats can work out some additional concessions. Perhaps the Kasnian treasury could create some sort of compensation fund for the families of the sailors who lost their lives."  
  
The Secretary considered this for a moment before he turned to confer with the other Americans.  
  
Diana wanted to talk to Audrey, but she knew she couldn't at that moment, and so she was forced to stand there, ignoring the monster in his cage.  
  
"Your Highness," the Secretary finally told her, "we can take Savage into custody now, if you don't mind. As for the rest of it, I'll need to speak with the President, but I believe things can be worked out between our nations."  
  
Audrey smiled slightly. "I'm sure you're right," she said.  
  
"Wonder Woman?" the Secretary asked. "We weren't exactly expecting to be transporting a prisoner, much less one with such unique characteristics. Would you be willing to accompany the prisoner back to the United States, in case he tries anything?"  
  
"Much as I prefer not to look at his smug face," Diana told him, "it would be my pleasure."  
  
"Thank you for coming, Wonder Woman," Audrey told her.  
  
"If I can do anything to avert hostilities, Queen Audrey," Diana answered neutrally.  
  
"It is always better to have friends than enemies," Audrey said quietly.  
  
Diana smiled slightly, and then she didn't see Audrey again for almost a full day.  
  
__________________________________  
  
"Audrey?"  
  
"Eek!"  
  
Audrey grabbed up the bedsheets and held them against her body.  
  
Diana blushed and looked away. "Sorry, sorry!"  
  
"Oh, it's you, Diana," Audrey said, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Now unconcerned, she allowed the sheets to drop from her body, revealing her nudity from the waist up. "Just because you can fly through someone's window doesn't mean you shouldn't use doors on occasion."  
  
Chancing a second look, Diana coughed and resolutely turned her head away again. "I thought we agreed on secrecy for now," she reminded Audrey. The princess' sudden lack of concern for her state of undress didn't exactly surprise Diana. When they'd gone shopping last week - before Savage's insane plan, before the destruction of the palace, before her father's condition, before a lot of crazy things - Audrey had insisted they use the same changing booth while they looked for new dresses. Coming from an island whose inhabitants weren't quite so prudish about the human body as they were in most of civilization, Diana found Audrey's freewheeling ease refreshing.  
  
When she'd changed the following night behind closed doors - that had been more of a surprise.  
  
"Flying through my hotel room window at eight o'clock in the morning isn't exactly subtle, Diana," Audrey replied with a grin as Diana abandoned her false modesty and looked at her. The princess had been forced to stay at a hotel in the capital city. Two floors of security men, but no one saw fit to monitor the windows - perhaps because Audrey told them not to bother.  
  
"No one saw me," Diana told her.  
  
"You're too serious, Diana. You have to learn how to flirt if you're going to spend time with me."  
  
"Flirt?" Diana asked.  
  
"Of course. I used to flirt outrageously all the time, male and female," Audrey explained with a wink. "Now that I have to maintain a serious front with others, the only person I have left to flirt with is you."  
  
Diana blinked, and then she chuckled. "I'll do my best, Princess. So, I thought yesterday went reasonably well."  
  
Audrey laughed gaily. "Yes, it did, didn't it? I think we may have to grant the Americans a base on Kasnian soil, but I think we'll manage. Perhaps even father would have approved." She looked down and the joviality left her face.  
  
"There's been no improvement?" Diana asked. "I thought you said you got the type of poison from Savage?"  
  
"We did," Audrey replied, sighing. "But it's a very rare plant-based poison. The doctors believe that's why he selected it. We haven't been able to locate the plant from which the poison comes from. It would enable us to synthesize an antidote. I fear I will be Queen until I die, unless my father recovers by some miracle."  
  
"Plant-based?" Diana asked thoughtfully.  
  
Audrey nodded. "In the meantime . . ." She noticed the look on Diana's face. "What?"  
  
"Nothing," Diana said. "An idea, maybe. What are your plans for today?"  
  
"Visiting my people," Audrey said. "We spent even more money than my father was aware of, obviously, on that damned space station and its mass driver. Not to mention the destruction of the palace and the compensation fund we'll have to establish for the victims' families - I might have to raise taxes, but I hope not. The peasants are restless enough." She looked hopefully at Diana. "Are you doing anything tonight? Perhaps we could have dinner here in my room, and I could tell you about my day, and you could advise me on my options?"  
  
"It would be my pleasure," Diana told her sincerely. "Even if you didn't need my help."  
  
That brought a genuine smile back to Audrey's face. "You see? You're flirting on your own now."  
  
Diana laughed.  
  
________________________________  
  
"Unhhhh . . . just fifteen more minutes . . ." The person who spoke was in bed, their face buried in pillows, their eyes squeezed shut.  
  
"I don't think that was the alarm clock. It sounded like someone came through the window," the person lying next to her said sleepily.  
  
" . . . Oh . . ."  
  
Two seconds later Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn sat up. "What?!" they said in unison.  
  
"You know," Diana observed from the doorway, "I find most of the criminals in Metropolis sleep at night. Here in Gotham, nobody wakes up before noon. Why is that?"  
  
They stared at Diana. "Wonder Woman?" Harley squeaked.  
  
"Well," Ivy said slowly, "the Batman usually goes out at night. So what's the fun in making mischief during the day?"  
  
"I hardly think your brand of terror falls under the headline of ordinary mischief, Dr. Isley," Diana said coldly.  
  
"It's Poison Ivy," she replied, sounding cross. "I think I've earned it."  
  
"Wow," Harley said. "More X chromosomes in here than you can shake a stick at."  
  
"I wasn't aware you two were an item," Diana said.  
  
"It's the only bed," Harley pointed out, but Diana noted the way Ivy's eyes slid sideways, as if she might have responded differently, and she smothered a laugh.  
  
"You're in the Bat's territory, Girl Wonder," Ivy snapped. "I thought you Leaguers were supposed to clear these things with him first."  
  
"I thought we could talk - just us girls," Diana responded.  
  
Ivy's eyes became calculating, as she noted that Wonder Woman had not moved from where she was standing. "What do you want?" she asked coolly.  
  
"If someone's been poisoned and the doctors don't know where to find the plant that produces the antidote," Diana said, "there's only one logical person to consult."  
  
"Flattery?" Ivy asked, raising an eyebrow. "How very un-Batlike."  
  
"Here I thought the body might have clued you in that I'm not the Batman," Diana replied dryly.  
  
Harley yawned. "I'm gonna go back to sleep while you girls conduct your business, okay, Red?"  
  
"You might want to pack instead, Quinn," Diana told her. "Because whether your partner gives me what I need or not determines when I notify the police as to your whereabouts."  
  
Ivy glared at her. "Pack, Harl."  
  
Harley pouted as Ivy got out of bed and slipped into her "work clothes".  
  
"So what do you need?" Ivy asked as she closed the door to the bedroom.  
  
Diana handed her a slip of paper.  
  
Ivy opened it and read the name. "Tricky," she said after a moment. "Come back in a few hours and - "  
  
Diana laughed. "Nice try, Ivy. If you two even try to pull a fast one, I'll take you apart in ten seconds and leave you to the authorities. If you cooperate, however, I'll give you plenty of time to find a new hideout."  
  
The ecoterrorist scowled. "Fine," she muttered. "Give me an hour. Then we can be apart from each other as soon as possible."  
  
"Fine," Diana answered.  
  
As Ivy made her way to her laboratory, Diana following behind, she stopped for a moment. "You know," she told Diana, "even with the antidote, there's no guarantee the victim will ever be one hundred percent again. So you don't blame me when he or she doesn't hop out of bed and run a marathon after you administer the antidote."  
  
Diana frowned, but the doctors had told Audrey something similar.  
  
She watched Ivy closely as she rummaged through her extensive stores of plants and seeds. "Why do you bother accumulating all this when you know you'll have to leave sooner or later?"  
  
"Most of it is nothing that can't be regrown later," Ivy replied absently. "The important ones will be cared for, believe me."  
  
She pulled out a slim envelope. "Here," she said. "I don't have the plant itself, but I have the seeds. You can grow enough to harvest in a few weeks' time. Sooner, if you Leaguers any special kind of growth formulas."  
  
Diana suspected she could find a way or two to speed the process, but she noted the avid look on Ivy's face and suspected a truthful answer might put the Watchtower on Ivy's list of potential targets. Not that she considered Poison Ivy a threat to the Watchtower, but you never knew . . . "Three weeks should be fine," she said, and Ivy looked disappointed. "But if these aren't the right ones - "  
  
"They're the right ones," Ivy retorted.  
  
"_If_ they're not," Diana continued, "I'll show you the fury of an Amazon scorned."  
  
Ivy folded her arms. She didn't look intimidated.  
  
"I'll give you three hours before I contact the police," Diana said. "More than enough, I think."  
  
The other woman muttered something profane under her breath.  
  
"You know," Diana added just as she was about to turn away, "I couldn't help but notice before."  
  
"Notice what?"  
  
"The way you were looking at your friend. You'd like to be more than friends, wouldn't you?"  
  
Ivy scoffed, but she turned away. "Humans don't really interest me."  
  
"Really? Because in my homeland, heterosexual relationships aren't exactly common, and I've seen looks like the ones you gave her in many Amazon's eyes."  
  
"You got what you came for," Ivy said coldly, but she sounded nervous all the same. "Your suggestion - wildly inaccurate, by the way - had better not be part of my three hours."  
  
Diana shrugged. "Deny it if you want," she replied idly. "I'm not sure how much longer you want to leave her under the spell of a maniac like the Joker, though. Maybe your next hideout should be somewhere far away, where you can be alone for a few days."  
  
"Get out," Ivy hissed, but her eyes first flared with anger when the Joker was mentioned.  
  
"Thanks for the seeds," Diana said before leaving.  
  
Poison Ivy hurried back to the room she shared with Harley. "What do you think?" Harley asked her when she came in, the packing not even close to finished. "The white or the pink?" She held up two dresses.  
  
"We've got three hours, Harl, so move it."  
  
"Where are we going next?"  
  
She hadn't planned on saying it, but the word "Metropolis" tumbled from her lips.  
  
"Road trip!" Harley cackled as she pulled a drawer out and casually dumped the contents into a suitcase.  
  
Ivy looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before she went to see to her plants.  
  
__________________________________  
  
"What is this?" Audrey asked as Diana dropped the seed from her palm onto the tablecloth. "I hope it's a flavor enhancer, because my chicken sorrento isn't so-good-o."  
  
"It's a seed," Diana told her carefully. "There are a dozen more just like it on the Watchtower. The Martian Manhunter tells me he can make sure they're full-grown in two weeks."  
  
Audrey looked at her oddly. "Flowers?"  
  
"Antidotes. For your father," Diana said.  
  
The princess froze. "Antidotes?" she whispered. "You found them? Already?"  
  
Diana nodded. "Even after they've grown, it could still be a while before - "  
  
Audrey leapt out of her chair and hugged Diana fiercely. "Oh, thank you, Diana, thank you," she said in Wonder Woman's ear.  
  
Diana felt Audrey's tears on her shoulder, and releasing herself from Audrey's grip, she reached up and wiped her tears away with a thumb. "What are friends for?" she asked.  
  
"You are my truest friend, Diana," Audrey said. "How can I ever repay you?"  
  
"Just go on doing the job you've been doing," Diana replied. In the few days since assuming sole control of the throne, Audrey had done better than the young woman had even expected of herself. Diana had followed media reports from the Watchtower, and the public mood seemed to be turning in Kasnia's favor. "And promise me we'll still see each other even after your father is king again and you're back to being the princess." She smiled. "It's nice to have a friend who's not a superhero."  
  
"Of course," Audrey said fervently. "You and I will be never grow apart."  
  
"I'd like that," Diana agreed.  
  
They remained like that for a few moments more before Audrey retook her seat. And as she went on again about some encounter she'd had that day, Diana thought about her experience in Gotham and wondered if there was a possibility they too might be more than friends.  
  
Probably not, she thought pessimistically. But they would be best friends, and Diana would do anything for her.  
  
"Anything?" a voice whispered in the back of her mind.  
  
Diana pondered this, but she didn't have any answers even when they parted for the night.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	4. Chapter Four

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (4/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Maid of Honor".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
(Author's Note - While only Chapters 1 and 2 included dialogue from "Maid of Honor", this chapter and those that follow will probably use dialogue or refer to events that took place in subsequent episodes. In such instances, asterisks will be used to identify such moments.)  
  
Chapter 4  
  
"Two Dianas," Audrey mused. "What fun that would be!"  
  
Diana frowned. "Don't even joke about it," she told the princess.   
  
"I'm sorry. And you're right, there could only be one of you," Audrey teased her.  
  
"You don't understand, Audrey," Diana tried to explain as she pulled her legs up onto the couch and faced Audrey. She hesitated. "What I'm about to tell you can't ever be repeated, okay?"  
  
"Diana!" Audrey said in a tone of mock offense. "I suppose next you will accuse me of telling people about the night you and I - "  
  
"Don't say it," Diana interrupted, chuckling. Her tension eased. She'd only needed to warn the other woman. She knew Audrey would remain silent if asked. "The other Diana was from an alternate universe, Audrey. So were all the others."  
  
Audrey creased her brow. "Alternate universe?" she asked. "Like - another dimension?"  
  
"Exactly," Diana said gratefully. "And in their world, the Justice League - or the Justice Lords, as they called themselves - used a brand of lethal justice that we don't believe in."  
  
Her friend's eyes widened. "You mean they killed people?"  
  
Diana nodded gravely. "And their idea of mercy wasn't that great, either. You remember the other day when that Doomsday character landed in Metropolis? And Superman - the other Superman - used his heat ray to lobotomize him?" Audrey nodded. "Well, that was apparently common practice in their world. The word 'rehabilitation' didn't seem to be in their vocabulary."  
  
"Not you too?!"  
  
"Me too," Diana whispered.  
  
Audrey shuddered. "Then I am glad she is gone." She stopped. "I wonder if we were friends in that world too. I wonder what kind of person _I_ was like?"  
  
Diana didn't reply. She just looked away.  
  
"Diana?" Audrey asked. "What is it? Was I - a bad person too?"  
  
"I don't know," Diana said truthfully. "But I doubt we were friends."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"While we were trapped in their dimension, Batman was able to download a great deal of information regarding events that happened there. We took it," Diana explained, "so we could learn from the mistakes they made. You and I don't appear to have known each other."  
  
"Oh," Audrey said. She looked intently at Diana. "Then why did you have that look on your face?"  
  
"Because . . ." Diana finally answered reluctantly, "in their world Vandal Savage tried his mad plan, and it failed. But when the meteor was redirected toward Kasnia, there were no survivors. Including you."  
  
Audrey blinked. "Well," she said after a moment, "I'm glad that was another time and place."  
  
Diana nodded. "It's made me think about a lot, though."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Well, Superman was evidently the first to cross the line in their world," Diana said candidly, "but the others all followed after him. It made me wonder how I could be corrupted so easily. It especially made me wonder if I have such darkness in my body as well."  
  
"Diana," Audrey said reproachfully. "You don't have a mean bone in your body."  
  
"I'm not that perfect, Audrey, even if some people think so," Diana replied.  
  
"I didn't say you were perfect, Diana," Audrey pointed out naughtily. But then she reached over and took Diana's hand. "You come closer to perfect than anyone else I know, though."  
  
Diana blushed. "Yes, well, that led me to think about other things. Wondering about what might have been made me think of you, too."  
  
Audrey looked surprised. "Me?"  
  
"What if I'd never gone to that party?" Diana asked. "And we'd never met? Obviously the alternate Diana had forgotten what 'fun' was about, but if I hadn't been in a party mood that night - any number of things could have worked out worse than they did."  
  
"But they didn't," Audrey reminded her. "Just like you didn't turn out like the other Diana. So why dwell on these negatives that could have been, instead of the positives that happened?"  
  
Diana thought about what she said and smiled. "I guess you're right. Still, it's weird seeing my face behind bars."  
  
"You didn't send them back where they came from?"  
  
"No, they're still here. We just took their powers away, but if we sent them back, they might find a way to regain their powers and cause more mischief, either in their world or in ours," Diana told her. "Except Batman, who never left their world, but he doesn't have super powers anyway, so he won't be able to dominate that world on his own."  
  
"Then why do you have them in prison?" Audrey asked.  
  
"Because they're still us," Diana said. "What if the other Superman decides to reveal our Superman's secret identity? Or the Flash's, or anyone else? We can't allow their knowledge to be used against us or anyone else."  
  
"I see," Audrey replied. She stood up. "You know, it's a good thing the Kasnian royal family has had this manor house for centuries, so I didn't have to take up permanent residence in a hotel. But it's even colder than the palace! I'm going to put more wood on the fire." She walked over to the fireplace, her hips swaying suggestively without her even trying to. "I know we both agreed that we should continue to meet in secret, but it's so bothersome to have to do everything myself," she added, grinning as she looked over her shoulder.  
  
Diana didn't feel cold as she watched Audrey. She mocked herself internally, however. How could she talk about lessons learned regarding missed chances and opportunities when she remained steadfastly afraid of exploring the way Audrey made her feel? Diana had always known that, like most other Amazons, she was attracted to women instead of men, but she'd never shared this information with the League.   
  
Even to Audrey she'd only referred to it very vaguely, and in such a way as to be interpreted as a joke. Diana knew that Audrey had cultivated the impression of being a libertine, but the princess struck the Amazon as being in no way debauched. In fact, she had a streak of innocence that Diana adored. Not to mention that elfin face and petite figure . . .  
  
But she refused to walk down that road. She believed Audrey was straight, and it could do Diana no good to explore her feelings if Audrey would never reciprocate them. In fact it might only damage their friendship, and that was something too precious to lose. She'd told Audrey things she'd never even told Hawkgirl, her closest friend in the League.  
  
Better to remain best friends than risk all, Diana concluded with a noticeable lack of the courage Wonder Woman was noted for.  
  
Still, as Audrey bent over and stoked the fire, Diana couldn't look away as she felt a stirring inside of her.  
  
Audrey stood up. "What?" she asked, noticing the odd look on Diana's face.  
  
"Nothing," Diana said, coughing. "Just thinking about something."  
  
"Hmm," Audrey replied, a salacious expression on her face. "I bet it was very naughty."  
  
"You have no idea," Diana told her in all honesty.  
  
________________________  
  
"Hey, Supes," the Flash said as Superman entered the room. "How about this for a slogan? Luthor for U.S. Representative - Putting the 'Con' back in Congress?"  
  
The first couple times he'd used a mock slogan for Lex Luthor's promised foray into politics, Superman had wanted to hit the Flash. By now, however, he had to admit it was funny.  
  
"You want to hear something really funny?" Superman replied. "Actually, let me ask you this. Have either of you noticed anything different about Wonder Woman lately?"  
  
"Diana? Why?"  
  
Superman looked to his left. The Flash had been enough of a distraction that he hadn't immediately noticed the Martian Manhunter.  
  
"She's been in a better mood," Flash said.  
  
Superman turned back to him. "In what way?"  
  
"Well, I mean, she's been a little standoffish ever since we first met her, but after the incident on Themiscyra with her mother and Hades, she got worse. Or was that just me?"  
  
"You do have that effect on women, Flash," Superman murmured, earning him a dirty look, but he considered what he had said. It was true that Wonder Woman, for obvious reasons, had been very upset by her banishment from her homeland. Which had been a remarkable bit of insanity, in his opinion. How exactly did you punish a woman for bringing men to Themiscyra, when you'd just finished lauding those same men as heroes and saviors of the Amazon race?  
  
If there was a hard lesson he'd learned recently, it was that compromise could be unavoidable. Much to Diana's sorrow, the Amazons hadn't learned that one yet.  
  
"She has been coming out of her shell lately," J'onn agreed. "There was that night a few weeks ago in Paris."  
  
"The Kasnian princess," Superman remembered. "The paparazzi got a lot of photographs of them at different nightspots."  
  
"Plus that helicopter full of kidnappers she dismantled," Flash added.  
  
"She hasn't been around much," the Martian mentioned. "When she hasn't been fulfilling her duties with the League, she's been off on her own. But she hasn't told me where."  
  
"Maybe she found a guy," Flash suggested.  
  
  
  
They looked at him.  
  
"What? Okay, so she's an Amazon, but it's not like the Amazons are all immaculate conceptions, if you know what I mean."  
  
"Anyway," Superman said, "I hadn't really thought about it until Metropolis this morning."  
  
"What happened in Metropolis?"  
  
"A couple of Batman's old enemies, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, were in town. We got a tip that they were going to hit one of the banks this afternoon. I was able to take care of them without much of a problem."  
  
"I fail to see the humor in that," the Manhunter pointed out.  
  
Flash shuddered theatrically. "It certainly wasn't funny when I ran into Ivy in that freaky dimension. She creeped me out. And everyone may say she's a total sexpot, but that lobotomy must have fried her looks too." He looked at Superman. "Sorry," he added.  
  
Superman shrugged. His alternate self had come up with a use for heat ray vision that he'd never even considered, and after seeing the results, he knew he'd never consider it in the future either. "What was funny was that Poison Ivy had a message for Diana."  
  
The Manhunter and Flash looked at each other. "I wasn't aware they knew each other," J'onn said.  
  
"Tell Wonder Woman I said thanks. That was the message," Superman replied. He scratched his head. "I wonder it's about."  
  
J'onn cleared his throat. "You know," he told them, "two weeks ago Wonder Woman approached me with some seeds she had. Since I stay here more than anyone else does, she asked me if I knew the best place for them to grow. Then yesterday she decided they'd grown enough, and she took the plants away."  
  
"What kind of plants were they?" Flash asked.  
  
"I checked. They were very rare. In fact, I couldn't find any known quantities of this plant on Earth. It's used to produce a special kind of poison, as well as the antidote," J'onn said.  
  
Superman frowned. "So Wonder Woman was growing a plant so exotic that most people think it's extinct," he said, "and Poison Ivy, a woman known for her genius in botany, sends Wonder Woman her thanks. What are we missing here?"  
  
"When did she come to you with those seeds exactly?"  
  
Everyone turned around and saw Batman standing in the doorway. "Hey Bats . . ." Flash said.  
  
"Later," he interrupted.  
  
"It was two weeks - no, fifteen days ago," the Martian Manhunter said. "Why?"  
  
Batman nodded. "Gotham police got an anonymous tip that Quinn and Ivy were holed up at a certain location fifteen days ago. When they arrived, it was obviously one of Poison Ivy's hideouts, but it looked like they left in a big hurry. That was the last we'd seen of them in Gotham until I saw the arrest report in Metropolis."  
  
"What are you saying?" Superman asked.  
  
"I'm saying it's possible Wonder Woman told Poison Ivy that the police were coming, and in exchange Ivy gave her the plants you were talking about before. She may have even called the police herself," Batman suggested.  
  
"Over a rare plant?" Flash said. "I don't get it."  
  
"She certainly could not have needed a poison," J'onn pointed out, "so therefore she needed the antidote. Does anyone know anything about it?"  
  
"There was a recent high-profile poisoning that affected most of us, especially Wonder Woman," Batman reminded them.  
  
"Who?" Superman asked.  
  
"King Gustav of Kasnia."  
  
"The Savage incident," Superman remembered. "I was sorry I missed that one. I still can't believe he's the same man we faced in the 1940s."  
  
"And there's that word again - Kasnia," J'onn said. "Was that how Savage poisoned Gustav?"  
  
"I don't believe we ever learned what poison was used," Batman said. "But Gustav has been completely paralyzed ever since, thanks to Savage's attempt to usurp the throne. Maybe Wonder Woman is trying to fix that."  
  
"How about we just ask her?" Flash asked.  
  
"Flash is right," J'onn said. "If we're a team, then we should come out to each other up front, instead of making guesses behind each other's backs." He turned to the computers. "Wonder Woman, could you come in please?"  
  
"Maybe Wonder Woman gave a heads up to Poison Ivy," Superman murmured as he went over to Batman, "but maybe she also tipped the police off today."  
  
"I did a trace, if you don't mind," Batman told him, "of the phone line used to make the call."  
  
Superman glared at him. Batman would have certainly minded if someone from the League did that in Gotham. "And?"  
  
"Pay phone, less than a block from where Ivy and Quinn stashed their loot," Batman said. "Someone probably spotted them and called it in."  
  
"Wonder Woman here, J'onn," her voice said. "What's the problem?"  
  
"What are you doing right now?" J'onn asked.  
  
"Cleaning up a hostage situation in Miami. I can be there in two minutes if it's urgent."  
  
"It's not urgent, Diana," Superman said as he leaned over the Manhunter's shoulder. "But we'd like to ask you about a couple things."  
  
There was a pause. "Okay," she finally answered curiously. "I'll be there."  
  
She disconnected, leaving the room silent.  
  
"So anyway . . ." Flash began to say.  
  
"When a room goes quiet, expect him to fill the void," Superman thought.  
  
________________________  
  
Diana stood at the door and looked around, feeling uneasy. Superman, Batman, the Flash, and the Martian Manhunter all looked bored. Evidently they were bored because they'd been waiting for her. "Is there a problem?"  
  
"Thank you," Superman said.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"No, it's a message I was supposed to give you. Poison Ivy says thank you."  
  
Diana stiffened. "How did this happen?"  
  
"I found her and Harley Quinn committing a crime in Metropolis," he said. "She volunteered it."  
  
"Metropolis?" Diana repeated. She did recall suggesting to Ivy that she take Harley far from Gotham. The two cities weren't exactly poles apart, but maybe . . . she couldn't help smiling.  
  
"What is it?" Batman asked neutrally.  
  
"Nothing," she said. "I just thought of something."  
  
"What's your connection to her?" Batman pressed.  
  
She shrugged. "I made a deal with her recently. I prolonged their inevitable capture, and she gave me something I couldn't find elsewhere."  
  
"A rare plant, perhaps?" Superman asked.  
  
"I assume J'onn told you."  
  
"What was it for?"  
  
She began to speak, but she felt oddly reluctant. "Why does it matter?" she asked.  
  
"Because when someone from the League comes to _my_ city and hands wanted criminals a get out of jail free pass," Batman told her sternly, "I want to know how and why."  
  
The "how" was Oracle, Diana thought, but since she'd asked Oracle not to tell anyone about the request, she had to return the favor and leave Oracle out of it. "The queen of Kasnia told me about it."  
  
More than one person nodded, and she wondered how much else they'd guessed at. "When?" J'onn asked.  
  
"A few days after Savage hijacked the space station," she explained, "the governments of Kasnia and the United States made a mutual request that I be present to give my view of events in the wake of the attack on American ships. I later accompanied Savage back to America where he was taken into custody. Prior to that, Queen Audrey revealed that Savage had given them the name of the poison, but that she hadn't found it anywhere on Earth."  
  
"That was very generous of you," Batman observed.  
  
She glared at him. "You were there, I believe, when she released me from that Kasnian cell. I felt like I owed her. And I've been told that King Gustav has shown the first, meager signs that he may recover after the antidote was given."  
  
"None of us," Superman told her, shooting Batman a look, "are suggesting you did anything wrong. It was a great gesture on your part, really. We just didn't understand why you kept it from us."  
  
"Because I knew Batman would get territorial about it," she said. That was a half-truth, and maybe not even half. True, there was the question of a Justice Leaguer developing such close ties to a single nation, especially one that had committed warlike acts on the world recently. But it was mainly because her friendship with Audrey felt intensely personal, private. She didn't feel like sharing it with the others.   
  
"Is there anything else?" Diana asked, showing by her body language that she was getting tired of being interrogated.  
  
"No, nothing," Superman eventually responded when Batman said nothing.  
  
"Fine. I'm going to take care of a couple things," she said, not even bothering to wave as she walked out.  
  
"Gee, that could have been warmer," Flash observed.  
  
Batman's eyes narrowed. He too stormed out with saying anything else.  
  
The remaining three Leaguers stood there. "How about 'Luthor for Vice President - Make the World Safe - From Luthor'?" Flash finally asked.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	5. Chapter Five

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (5/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Maid of Honor".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
(Author's Note - While only Chapters 1 and 2 included dialogue from "Maid of Honor", this chapter and those that follow will probably use dialogue or refer to events that took place in subsequent episodes. In such instances, asterisks will be used to identify such moments.)  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Poison Ivy stopped and stared as she entered the room. She turned to leave again but the door closed in her face. "I thought you were my attorney," she said as she turned back.  
  
"Why would you think that?" Diana asked as she leaned against the wall.  
  
"Who else would visit me in this dump?" Ivy replied carelessly. She looked slyly at her. "So, I was wondering what took you so long. What's wrong? Is the Bat angry with you?"  
  
"With me?"  
  
Ivy nodded. "Going into his town, talking to his enemies, interfering with his justice. You did everything but urinate on the Bat-signal. He'll probably be extra intimidating when I see him again, just to remind me that I'm the one he should be afraid of, not you." She sat in a chair and lazily let one leg rest on the small table.  
  
Diana chuckled. "Are you afraid of me?"  
  
"Of course not," Ivy sneered. "I'm not afraid of him either."  
  
"Really?" Diana asked. "Isn't that why you're fighting extradition so hard? Because you don't want the Batman to get a hold of you?"  
  
Ivy looked away. "I'm not really in a rush to go back to Arkham."  
  
"Sure, Striker's must be so much better," Diana said dryly. "Women don't even get their own facility in Metropolis. They have to share space with the boys. They don't even get half the island. We women always have to make do with less, don't we?"  
  
"It's tolerable," Ivy sniffed.  
  
"Why not? The baggy blue jumpsuits, the sloppy cuisine, and the courtyard!" Diana replied, smiling. "I've seen the soil out there. You can't grow anything but rocks outside. Not like the gardens at Arkham. I've seen photos of what the place looks like since your first commitment there."  
  
"Why do you care?" Ivy asked irritably. "I'm sorry I said anything to Superman now. Are you happy?"  
  
Diana sat across from her. "I don't care about that, Ivy. If you were trying to needle me, it didn't work. And I know why you're fighting extradition to Gotham. You were surprised Metropolis wasn't that keen on seeing you serve your sentence here, weren't you? They were willing to let the professionals have you. Professionals meaning the people who've gotten used to your daily crap."  
  
Ivy growled at her. "Next time you need something from me, you can just call the cops, because I'm not interested."  
  
"Oh, you prefer the company out there?" Diana asked. "You do know who your high-profile cellmates are in there, right? Livewire and Volcana? Two women who control electricity and fire, a.k.a. two women who can burn down a forest really fast. I'm sure you'll have a leg up on _them_."  
  
"I don't have to listen to you!" Ivy shouted. "Just leave me alone."  
  
"You're doing it for Harley," Diana replied, as quiet as Ivy was loud. "You took her away from Gotham, but you got caught, so now jail in Metropolis is preferable to Arkham and the Joker. He's still there, you probably now."  
  
Ivy calmed down. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said impassively.  
  
"Come on, Ivy, you even confessed to two robberies the police weren't looking at you for," Diana told her. "You're trying extra hard to make them want to keep you here instead of sending you back. You'd better not be thinking of killing a guard, Ivy, or I'll fly the two of you to Arkham myself."  
  
"You wouldn't!" Ivy cried out impulsively. Her face flushed and she stood up so quickly that her chair fell down. "Get out," she hissed, facing the window.  
  
"I'm guessing you didn't have enough time to do whatever it is you hope you're doing, so you figured enough time in a cell together would do the trick," Diana went on, almost gently. "Is it working?"  
  
Ivy folded her arms and looked down. "No," she muttered.  
  
Diana leaned forward. "I've read the files on her, Ivy. She appears to be a classic case of battered women's syndrome."  
  
Ivy laughed.  
  
"And that's funny to you?"  
  
"No," she said. "It's just that you learn all the psychobabble in Arkham. Harley's not a battered woman. Well, in the most literal sense, yes. The Joker abuses her," she snarled. "Her problem is that she's delusional. She thinks it's his way of expressing the deep and true love she's convinced he feels for her." She looked away. "Sometimes I wonder if Harley thinks beatings are how people show they love each other. God knows she doesn't seem to respond to being treated right."  
  
"Is that what you've been doing?" Diana asked. "Treating her right?"  
  
She nodded. "I've tried to keep my temper when she makes mistakes, as she inevitably does. I've indulged her whims. I've spoken to her like an equal, not a sidekick. She just thinks I'm her best gal pal. Maybe I should insult her more often," she said bitterly. "That might work."  
  
"Have you told her how you feel?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not? What if it's the only way? What are you afraid of?"  
  
Ivy opened her mouth to answer, and then she blinked and shook her head. Then she faced Diana. "Why do you care?" she asked suspiciously. "What are you, the new prison shrink?"  
  
"Obviously I'm interested in seeing another woman get out from under an abusive relationship with a man," Diana said, but with a hint of discomfort.  
  
And Ivy picked up on it. "You seem more interested in my relationship with her. Why?"  
  
Diana glared at her.  
  
"Don't even try that look," Ivy told her, wagging a finger. "I've seen the Bat's, and his is much better." Then she grinned, as a light seemed to go on in her eyes. "Wait, let me guess. You're in the boat with me, aren't you?" she asked gleefully. "There's someone else, and you can't tell them, and so you're using me as some kind of fucking test case!"  
  
"I am most certainly not," Diana said angrily, crossing her arms.  
  
"Who could it be?" Ivy went on, ignoring her. "It certainly can't be a man, not the ultimate Amazon that you make yourself out to be." She paused. "No, it's too rich. You've got the hots for Hawkgirl, haven't you?" She began laughing mockingly.  
  
Diana's fists clenched. "It's not someone in the League," she admitted through her teeth. "It's someone else."  
  
"Mmm-hmm," Ivy said, smirking.  
  
Something snapped inside of Diana and she flew out of her chair. She pinned Ivy against the wall, grabbing her by the jumpsuit. "Since you haven't said anything to the woman _you_ love, I don't think you should be laughing right now!" she hissed.  
  
"Maybe a couple sexy dykes like you and I could hook up," Ivy responded with a leer. "Make our crushes jealous."  
  
Diana's anger went from white-hot to ice-cold. She dropped Ivy and let her slide to the floor. "I forgot," she said icily. "I'm dealing with a self-absorbed lunatic. Quinn can't win either way. She'd be no better off in your bed."  
  
That remark slapped the smile off Ivy's face, and she stared up at her. "Don't say that!" she said.  
  
"I have nothing left to say. I've learned all I can from someone like you," Diana told her. "Obviously I went to the wrong person." She stared at Ivy. "I pity that poor, crazed girl you call a friend. I really do."  
  
Then she left.  
  
Poison Ivy brought her knees to her chest and burst into bitter, helpless tears.  
  
_______________________________  
  
Diana was still angry with herself when she got back to the Watchtower? She could ask herself what it was about Audrey that made her do such foolish things - whether it was throwing war machines into the church where Audrey's wedding was being held, or going to a homicidally insane woman for what was evidently an ill-concealed attempt to pump her for information!   
  
It would be a rhetorical question, however, because she already knew the answer. Her decision to simply sit on her feelings, pretend they weren't there, and go on being best friend to Audrey wasn't working, because her feelings were getting stronger. Diana had always prided herself on her mind and her self-control, but she had an emotional connection to Audrey that seemed to override her sense of better judgment.  
  
And if her feelings continued to build, how long before she was in _love_ with her?  
  
If she was going to a convicted criminal for advice, that was a sign of desperation. If she could go to anyone right now, it would be her mother. Hippolyta would understand in the way that only a parent could, and even though the Amazon queen was heterosexual, most of her subjects were not. Diana wasn't really sure how her fellow Leaguers would react to that.  
  
Still, if Themiscyra remained out of the question, she had to tell someone in the League what was going on, even though part of her wanted this to go on being hers only.  
  
"Hawkgirl?" she asked, going to the room on the Watchtower where the Thanagarian kept some of her things. Flash had told Diana she was somewhere on the station.  
  
"Hey, Diana," Hawkgirl replied, looking up from the book she was reading. "How are you?"  
  
"Fine," Diana said awkwardly.  
  
There was a moment of silence where Diana had no idea how to start.  
  
"Actually," Hawkgirl said before she could begin, "I'm glad you stopped by. There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. I realize we're not exactly bosom buddies, but this isn't something I can talk about with the boys."  
  
Diana stared dumbly at her. Why couldn't she have said that? More importantly, why couldn't she have said that _first_? "What is it?" she could only ask.  
  
Hawkgirl sighed. "It's John," she said, exasperated.  
  
"Green Lantern?" Diana asked, surprised. "What has he done?"  
  
"It's not what he's done, it's what he hasn't done," Hawkgirl replied. "You see . . ." She blushed a little. "I'd like he and I to be a little more than just friends."  
  
"Really?" Diana said. "You mean like - the others?"  
  
Hawkgirl's head snapped up. "Don't you even dare compare me to that other one!" she snapped.  
  
"Sorry, sorry," Diana replied, holding her hands up.  
  
As she'd told Audrey, their alternate selves were being held in custody. What she hadn't told the princess was that the Justice Lords were being held on the Watchtower. At this point, the League didn't dare keep them at any human penitentiary. Again, it was a question of secrets, not any danger of them escaping, not without their powers.  
  
Whatever the reason, the entire League except for Batman and the Flash had their twins in cells scattered around the Watchtower. They weren't even being kept near each other, so they couldn't communicate. It was a disturbing thought, which was why Diana tried not to think about it. Her own dark heart was a few floors below.  
  
The lone exception to the rule about separating the Lords was Green Lantern and Hawkgirl. Apparently in their world the two were lovers, practically man and wife. The League had decided to allow them to share a cell, albeit one with tighter security that was at the furthest spot in the Watchtower from the others.  
  
Neither Hawkgirl nor John had spoken about their alternates' relationship before now.  
  
"Although that's not helping," Hawkgirl added morosely.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Diana, I've done everything but draw John a road map!" Hawkgirl told her. "That time when we were fighting Despero, and there was that moment when my face was two inches from his, and I practically lasered my thoughts into his corneas! And he's so clueless, he doesn't say a thing. I thought, when we found out about the others, maybe then he would see how they were together and the light would go on. Instead, I think they scared him off! He's so determined not to be the _other_ Lantern that he won't look at me."  
  
Diana felt like a total fraud to be saying this. "Why can't you just tell him flat out how you feel?"  
  
Hawkgirl grimaced. "If he says no, I can't exactly slug him with my mace and make him say yes, can I? I mean, courage in the face of the enemy is one thing. Something personal like this, I'm finding that's a completely new and different experience. And frankly," she said quietly, "it's a little terrifying."  
  
"I know what you mean," Diana replied. Hawkgirl, wrapped up in her own thoughts, failed to notice.  
  
"What if he says no?" Hawkgirl repeated. "Will that change our relationship? Will we be able to continue being in the League together? Diana, I don't dare making the first move, but if I have to wait much longer, I think I'm going to go crazy!"  
  
Diana sighed and put her hand on Hawkgirl's shoulder. "I wish I could answer your question. Believe me, I do," she said heavily. "But this is such a personal matter for you. What you and I would do might be completely different."  
  
"I know," Hawkgirl said. "I just needed to talk to someone about it. I'm the only member of my race on the whole planet, and well, the League is the closest thing I have to a family right now."  
  
It made Diana's skin tingle hearing the things the winged woman was saying. So much of it - other than the part about Green Lantern - was just like the things she would have said. In some ways, Hawkgirl's predicament was even worse. At least Diana knew where her home was. At least the person she wanted wasn't in the League with her.  
  
"One thing you don't know, though," Diana suddenly remembered. "When we rescued you from Arkham Asylum in the other Gotham."  
  
"I was unconscious basically the whole time," Hawkgirl said. "John told me about it. It sounded awful."  
  
"Did he tell you he was the one who went into the room where you were being kept?" Diana asked. "And that he was the one who carried you out?"  
  
Hawkgirl stared at her. "No," she replied softly. "He didn't."  
  
"Maybe," Diana suggested gently, "he's not as clueless as you think? And he's as fearful as you are? Because he was the first one in that room."  
  
"Nobody told me," Hawkgirl said to herself, looking away. Then she looked up at Diana and took her hand. "Thank you," she whispered.  
  
"No problem," Diana told her, smiling.   
  
Except now she couldn't tell Hawkgirl about her problems. Maybe J'onn might be able to help. He was usually the most sensitive and thoughtful of their number. Still, he wasn't even from Earth. It didn't make him any less human than the rest of them, though.  
  
She wished she had her mother right now. Even one of the Amazons she trained with would understand.  
  
Then Diana blinked. There was one other person, and she was on the Watchtower.  
  
It was crazy and stupid and desperate. And it was all Audrey's fault.  
  
_____________________________  
  
"It's not the most spacious arrangements, is it?"  
  
Sweating profusely, Wonder Woman sat up. "Well, if it isn't the watered-down version," she said contemptuously.  
  
Diana folded her arms and stared calmly at her alternate self. "Sit-ups?" she asked.  
  
"I've got to keep this body in shape until I get my powers back. Which I will," Wonder Woman replied angrily. "Besides, there's not a whole lot else to do in here, is there?"  
  
"Don't expect me to feel guilty," Diana retorted. "You were going to let us all rot in the Batcave, remember?"  
  
"You weren't going to be there forever," Wonder Woman said, annoyed. "We would have let you out as soon as we were convinced that you saw the virtues of our way. You weren't the enemy. You were just weak."  
  
"You're the weak ones," Diana responded. "When Superman yielded to temptation and abandoned his principles, you should have stood up to him. And if he didn't back down, you should have taken him down. Instead you took the easy road, tossed your own principles in the same dustbin, and set up your own little world oligarchy." Her face hardened. "I look at you and I wonder how I could fall so hard and so fast."  
  
Wonder Woman glared at her. "Principles? You chose Lex Luthor over us and you still say you have _principles_?"  
  
"You lied to us and imprisoned us," Diana said. "Frankly, at least with Luthor we know where we stand. He's not much of a threat any longer. He'll make his useless foray into politics . . ."  
  
"That's what we thought at first," Wonder Woman interrupted, laughing harshly. "But you have too much respect for the mob rule and bleating idiocy of man - and woman."  
  
Diana just looked at her. "I don't know why I even bothered," she said. "You had Despero in your world, right?"  
  
"Why?" Wonder Woman asked sulkily.  
  
"Because that's what you became. It wasn't enough that you made liberty a dirty word in your universe. Your dedication to your perverted justice was almost religious in its fervor. How many more worlds were you planning on taking your crusade to? Two? Three? Ten? As many as you could?" Diana shook her head. "You got the Lord part right, but you forgot what justice meant."  
  
Wonder Woman turned away and began doing push-ups.  
  
Diana wanted to leave, but she'd come to talk about something completely different, and she'd allowed her other self to turn the conversation. "Were you banished too?" she asked quietly.  
  
The other brunette stopped her exercises. She crouched in a kneeling position and looked at Diana. "You too?" she asked in a calmer tone. "You brought men to Themiscyra?"  
  
"Until recently, I don't think you and I were that different," Diana said. "It's what either of us would have done."  
  
Wonder Woman sighed. "I'll admit, I thought about going there. I thought maybe in this world - but I guess it's a good thing I never had the chance." Her eyes narrowed. "Are you just trying to hurt me now?"  
  
"No," Diana answered, almost losing her temper again, but she managed to keep it in check. "I just - you're the only Amazon I can talk to now."  
  
"I don't see us becoming blood sisters," Wonder Woman told her pointedly.  
  
Diana nodded. "You know we put Hawkgirl and Green Lantern in a cell together?"  
  
Wonder Woman shrugged. "J'onn told me. Your J'onn, that is." The Martian had taken it upon himself to bring the Lords their meals, even though Batman or the Flash wouldn't have had to see themselves locked away every day.  
  
"How did they get together?"  
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
"Hawkgirl asked me, but she doesn't want to speak to her twin," Diana said in a half-truth.  
  
"It was Flash," Wonder Woman finally told her. "He was always closest to them. When he died, they turned to each other for comfort. Apparently they'd been interested in each other for a while, but his death broke the ice between them. Why?"  
  
"Did you leave anybody behind like that?" Diana asked.  
  
Wonder Woman smirked. "Oh. Of course. This is about you. No, I didn't. I've never loved anyone. I stopped having time. Actually, I'd resigned myself to being alone." She had a nasty look in her eyes. "Maybe you should do the same."  
  
"If you were alone," Diana said quietly, disheartened by her alternate's capacity for malice, "maybe it was because you killed the one meant for you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you remember Vandal Savage?"  
  
Wonder Woman stared at her. "You're not serious. You and _Savage_?"  
  
"No!" Diana replied, revolted by the very idea. "Are you joking? No, I mean do you remember what he did to Kasnia?"  
  
"More like what he did with it," Wonder Woman said. "Turned it into his own fiefdom and it wasn't enough. We put him down, though."  
  
"Do you remember the woman he married?" Diana asked softly.  
  
"Not really," Wonder Woman replied, shrugging. "Some silly, shallow princess."  
  
"She's not silly, and she's not shallow," Diana said coldly. "If you'd done things a little differently, maybe stopped taking yourself so seriously for one night, things might have been different for you. Instead you just let her die with Savage. You never even knew what you lost. And now you really will be alone forever."  
  
Wonder Woman looked back at her uneasily. "You like this girl?" she asked.  
  
"I - I think I might love her," Diana whispered. "Although I didn't realize how much I cherish her until I spoke to you. If I'm not going to become you, I have to avoid making your wrong decisions. Including deciding you would always be alone."  
  
The other Wonder Woman said nothing.  
  
"Thank you," Diana told her. "I've been worrying about what could go wrong if I tell her, and now I see what could go wrong if I don't." She turned to leave.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
Diana looked down and saw Wonder Woman grabbing onto her wrist. She barely felt it, her alternate's strength was so little, and she could have easily broken free. "What?" she asked.  
  
"Maybe," Wonder Woman said, albeit reluctantly enough that her face twisted, "you could come back some time. I don't know how long you've been separated from home, but it's been a long, long time for me."  
  
She would have been perfectly willing to give up on her darker self before, but Diana was unable to resist such a naked plea. "All right," she said. "I'll come again."  
  
Wonder Woman's hand fell away, and Diana left. She did have another dinner in Kasnia tonight, after all, and more than ever, she needed to get ready.  
  
To be continued . . .  
  
(Author's Note - The animated series never really says what the League was going to do with their weakened selves, so I selected a reasonable option, one that was most convenient to the storyline. If you think they would have done something differently with the Justice Lords, I won't argue the point.) 


	6. Chapter Six

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (6/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Maid of Honor".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
(Author's Note - While only Chapters 1 and 2 included dialogue from "Maid of Honor", this chapter and those that follow will probably use dialogue or refer to events that took place in subsequent episodes. In such instances, asterisks will be used to identify such moments.)  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"What is it? What's so urgent?" Diana asked, materializing so quickly in front of where Audrey was sitting that the Kasnian woman started and spilled her tea.  
  
"Diana!" Audrey admonished her, getting a napkin and pressing it against her blouse where the tea had splashed her bosom. "You really need to give me a little warning some times. And how is it you always manage to find where I am without being detected by security?"  
  
Diana was looking around the room in consternation, not quite sure what it was that had been so important that Audrey had contacted her - via the highly classified and very unusual mode of communication known as "electronic mail" - and asked her to come right away. "Probably because someone inside has given me the exact times and routes of your security detail," she said absently. "You might want to investigate that."  
  
"Absolutely," Audrey replied primly, her eyes sparkling as she poured herself another cup. "Tea?"  
  
"Audrey," Diana warned her.  
  
"Of course. I just wanted you to know how shocked and appalled I was by those horrible comments made on the television the other day. The things that stupid American was saying about how you _dress_." Audrey clucked her tongue. "His manners are hideous, and unfair too. Personally I like your outfit."  
  
Diana made an aggravated noise. "Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, Audrey . . ."  
  
"I would be a very sorry friend if I did not support you, Diana," Audrey said calmly. "If it wasn't for the fact that we continue to meet in secret, I would have issued a public statement expressing my displeasure with this silly man."  
  
Considering the attitude Americans often had with Europeans, Diana was grateful Audrey hadn't had the chance. "But you can't just drag me down here for that, not when I took emergency leave from Watchtower monitor duty to come here. I thought maybe it was your father."  
  
Audrey had listened with a look on her face that suggested mock remorse, but her eyes became serious when her father was mentioned. "He's better," she said. "He still hasn't spoken, but his physical therapists tell me he should recover most, if not all, of the feeling in his body." She set her tea down and stirred aimlessly with one finger, then put her finger in her mouth and sucked it. "I suspect I will be Queen and Regent for at least two more months, however."  
  
"As long as he's getting better," Diana said, feeling distracted as she watched Audrey suck on her finger briefly. Now that she wasn't in emergency mode, she also fully noticed the tea staining Audrey's shirt. Was she imagining it, or did she feel heat creeping into her cheeks?  
  
Audrey nodded. "Actually," she said, brightening, "I do have one favor to ask you."  
  
Diana had known it. While untrue things had been said of the young woman, not even Diana denied she was spoiled. She could understand why. Hera help her, she _liked_ spoiling Audrey. "What is it?" she asked.  
  
"Well," Audrey replied slowly, "I couldn't tell you in the message, because I knew you wouldn't like it."  
  
With a feeling of foreboding, Diana sat down.  
  
"But now that life in Kasnia has calmed down somewhat, and my father's condition is improving," Audrey explained, "my original duty to the throne remains, and it must be dealt with. With Savage locked away in an American dungeon somewhere - may he suffer forever - "  
  
"You can't be serious!" Diana gasped, suspecting what was coming next.  
  
"I simply must find a man who is worthy of becoming my husband," Audrey went on, unruffled. She held up some papers. "It is my responsibility to give birth to an heir, boy or girl, and for that I need to marry. I thought, since you evidently are a much better judge of character than I, you could help me with this,"  
  
"First of all," Diana replied, appalled, "not realizing that Vandal Savage was a homicidal psychopath does not make you a bad judge of character. It's not like your father disapproved of him. Certainly few people would fault your choice in friends?" Audrey nodded grudgingly. "And more importantly, you don't have to marry someone you don't love!"  
  
"We had this conversation in Paris, Diana," Audrey said sadly. "My answer has not changed - yes, I do. How else will the line be carried on when I am gone? The fact that Vandal was an ogre doesn't change that. The only thing that has changed is my determination to rule. Before I wanted Vandal to do it for me. Now it is I who will make the decisions, and my husband can do whatever he likes." She leafed through some papers. "I have the bios for some of Europe's most eligible bachelors from the ranks of royalty and the aristocracy. They're also considered generally harmless. Perhaps the two of us can weed out the worst of the group?"  
  
Diana looked at her in dismay. It was one thing to decide that you were going to confess your feelings to another. It was another thing entirely to actually do it. And now it seemed she'd waited so long that Audrey had re-embarked on her feelings of royal obligation.  
  
Maybe she should say it now? Or was this request a reminder that Audrey's preferences evidently leaned toward men rather than women?  
  
Indecisive, Diana could only go with her instincts - which, more often than not, was to give Audrey what she wanted. "All right," she said, defeated, "give me some of those. Although don't expect me to approve of any of them."  
  
"Diana, darling," Audrey replied, "if you found one you approved of, there would be no further discussion. Unless you decided you wanted him for yourself," she added with a sly grin.  
  
Diana's stomach clenched as she took the biographical sheets offered and buried her face in them.  
  
__________________________  
  
Audrey sighed as she let another sheet drop into the fireplace. "That's the problem with royalty," she said. "When you don't admit newcomers, the gene pool shrinks."  
  
"The last one wasn't a total loss," Diana said with extreme reluctance. Her mind wanted to completely trash every candidate until Audrey gave up all thought of marrying anyone, but her heart felt compelled to go on being the friend and advisor she'd been for weeks. So she went on making fair, if stern, comments.  
  
"Maybe," Audrey replied, watching the paper turn black and the edges curl in the fire. "He did have that horrible slack jaw, but perhaps he doesn't photograph well. Then again, my consort should be photogenic, don't you think?"  
  
"Maybe if he's ugly, your people won't think twice about you having the upper hand in the marriage," Diana pointed out.  
  
Audrey groaned. "Just because I'm not marrying for love doesn't mean I want the man lying next to me to turn my stomach, Diana."  
  
The sudden image of Audrey in the marriage bed with a faceless prince hurt Diana on the inside more than any punch Solomon Grundy could have thrown, and she looked away.  
  
"Diana? Is something wrong?"  
  
"I'm fine," she lied. "Can we stop now?"  
  
"Well, it's only been an hour," Audrey said doubtfully. "Maybe just another thirty minutes?" She picked up the next one. "This one fathered a child out of wedlock, it seems. At least he's potent, and really, isn't a high sperm count all I want in a partner?"  
  
"Damn it, Audrey, just stop it!" Diana suddenly shouted, her last words pushing her over the limit. She immediately regretted it and lapsed into silence.  
  
Audrey stared at her, shocked. "I'm - sorry, Diana," she finally said. "Sometimes I can think only of myself. I'll just do this later. I shouldn't have asked you - "  
  
"You shouldn't have started this in the first place," Diana retorted, mortified that she seemed unable to hold the words back. "I can't go on watching you plan a marriage to a man you haven't selected yet, let alone fallen in love with."  
  
The Kasnian regent laughed without humor. "So often, princes and princesses never marry for love, Diana. Too much gets in the way. Even when the marriage isn't arranged, we never truly get to know each other until it's too late. If the husband and wife come to love each other, this is good. If not . . ." She raised her hands, palms up in resignation. "They make do. No one has had the chance to get to know me. So how could anyone love me?"  
  
"Audrey!" Diana gasped in horror. "How can you believe something like that? _I_ love you."  
  
It took her a second to realize what she had just said, and she stood up and turned away, clamping her hands over her mouth. Not before she saw Audrey's eyes become as wide as saucers, however.  
  
"Take it back, take it back," her mind whispered, panicked.  
  
"Diana," Audrey said strangely, "do you profess your love as a friend? Maybe as a sister, perhaps?"  
  
Audrey appeared to be offering her a window of opportunity to put what she'd said in a less-offending light. Diana thought Audrey would believe her, because she would want to.  
  
But Diana had already committed herself once before to tell Audrey the truth, and her continued cowardice was totally unbecoming of a former Amazon princess. "No," she responded softly, looking at Audrey, who appeared to be chiseled in marble, "my love for you is - something more, Audrey. It's . . . the kind of love I once told you many Amazons feel for each other. The kind of love you seem to think you'll never find."  
  
Audrey stared at her. "I see," she said. Her throat sounded dry. "I did not - believe you felt that way."  
  
"It wasn't until recently that my feelings blossomed to this extent," Diana told her, feeling that now there was no need for anything but total candidness. "But they have been growing inside for some time now."  
  
The smaller woman appeared to be at a loss for words.  
  
Diana looked down. "If this is the last time we meet, I'll understand, Audrey. It's hard to be married to a man when your best friend is in love with you."  
  
"That's true," Audrey said quietly. Then her head jerked up. "Diana, no, no! This is not the end."  
  
Surprisingly, she then burst into tears.  
  
"Oh, Hera," Diana whispered. "I never meant to hurt you, Audrey."  
  
"You didn't, you didn't," Audrey said through her tears. "I just - I'm so ashamed of myself. I thought I could behave like an adult, but I didn't think this would happen, and now I'm a blubbering wreck!"  
  
"I'll go," Diana promised.  
  
In an eerie repeat of her visit with the alternate Diana the other day, she found her progress arrested by a small hand grabbing her wrist. "You will _not_ go," Audrey said firmly. "While you're in Kasnia, I make the rules, and I say you _stay_."  
  
Diana hesitated, but she sat back down meekly.  
  
Audrey exhaled loudly and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I imagined this would go somewhat differently," she muttered.  
  
"What?" Diana asked, stunned. "Wait, you mean you _knew_?!"  
  
"Knew how you felt? Of course not," Audrey replied.  
  
"Oh. Then what did you mean by that?"  
  
Audrey sighed. "What is it they say in America? I did everything but - give you a street map?"  
  
Diana stared. An overwhelming feeling of déjà vu possessed her. "Road map," she managed to say, remembering what Hawkgirl had told her.  
  
"Road map, that's right," Audrey said. "I mean, do you really think I was raised to stir my cup with a finger? Do you think I'm still so unused to your comings and goings that I would splash my tea when you appear?"  
  
The Amazon could only go on staring. Her brain appeared to be malfunctioning. Does - not - compute . . .  
  
"I was getting pretty desperate, I will admit," Audrey continued blithely. "I thought if there was any hope at all, helping me choose a husband would provoke you." Then she smiled. "I was right, but the reaction was, if hoped for, completely unexpected."  
  
"I'm sorry," Diana finally said. "Could you perhaps start over? And speak to me like I'm seven? Because I don't understand any of this."  
  
Audrey colored. "Sorry, Diana," she replied. She sat next to her. "You see, I've been trying to seduce you."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Well, it's not like I've never done it before!" Audrey said hotly. "Usually it takes about two tries with men. Is it different with women? Because you've never responded before tonight. I thought you just weren't interested, but I also thought there was a chance what I was doing was merely going over your head. You are from a different society, after all."  
  
There had been one or two instances in the past where she _had_ responded, but she'd been careful not to show it. Diana slowly cleared her head. "You're saying you've been playing some sort of elaborate game with me all this time?" she asked.  
  
Audrey gaped. "A game? Well, yes, I suppose seduction is a kind of game - but Diana!" She took her hand. "If you think I would do something like that to someone so close to me, then I have been too subtle by half." She looked down. "I've become very fond of you myself, you know. And . . . not fond as a friend, or a sister."  
  
A tiny portion of Diana was pointing out to her that this went in the category of "unexpected news so good your head spins", but she was paralyzed with bewilderment, and all she could do was ask more questions. "So you've been trying to get me to feel the same way?" she asked.  
  
"Sort of," Audrey admitted. "But it was more like I was testing your feelings. I wanted to tell you before, I really did, Diana. But I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way. So I tried to signal my feelings to you. I never really thought you'd reciprocate them."  
  
The irony was too much, and Diana burst out laughing.  
  
"Diana? Why are you laughing? Is that a good thing?"  
  
"So . . . so you're in love with me, but you thought I didn't feel the same way, so you never said anything?" Diana asked.  
  
"Yes," Audrey said, feeling like she was being mocked. "I don't know for sure if it's love, though. I've never felt it before."  
  
"Neither have I," Diana said, her smile disappearing. "And how are you feeling now?"  
  
Audrey paused. "Well," she replied, "if you really do love me, then - I suppose I feel very happy right now."  
  
"Good," Diana said. "Because I've been afraid this whole time too, but I'm also feeling very happy now, so I think I know where you're coming from."  
  
"I see."  
  
"So what happens now?"  
  
"Maybe a kiss?" Audrey asked hopefully.  
  
Diana blinked. "Yes," she said slowly, "we probably should have done something like that by now. Or like this," she added, slipping her arms around Audrey's body and pulling her close.  
  
Audrey closed her eyes and let her head drop onto Diana's shoulder as she put her own arms around Diana. "You haven't carried me in your arms since those first few nights we met, Diana. Over the weeks, I have remembered those moments quite happily."  
  
"Really," Diana said, smiling. Before Audrey could prepare for it, she stood up and swept Audrey into her arms. "Like this?"  
  
The princess smiled and wrapped her arms around Diana's neck. "Yes, Diana," she whispered. "Although perhaps we could forgo the flying part for now. I'd like to stay in tonight."  
  
"That should be fine," Diana agreed before they finally kissed.  
  
Diana couldn't suppress a little moan as their lips met. Audrey was softer than the expensive down pillows on the Kasnian princess' bed, and when her tongue darted across Diana's, Wonder Woman trembled.  
  
"Wow," Audrey said when they stopped after a minute.  
  
"Yes," Diana replied.  
  
"You know, for a woman who has survived hits from the most powerful people in the world, you are surprisingly soft and tender, Diana," Audrey told her, smiling naughtily.  
  
"Well, for an experienced seductress like yourself . . ."  
  
Audrey leaned her head back and laughed, but then she looked serious. "I'm not a virgin, I admit it," she said, sounding almost ashamed.  
  
"It's all right," Diana said, unsurprised. "Are you saying you want to? Tonight?"  
  
She seemed to think about it for a moment, but then she shook her head. "I would like to," she said. "I have fantasized about it. But perhaps we could wait for another night. We could have a proper date first?"  
  
"I'd like that," Diana replied. "You know, you didn't ask if I was a virgin."  
  
Audrey chuckled. "Oh, you are. I have no doubt of it."  
  
"And I want to give it to you," Diana told her with the utmost seriousness.  
  
Blinking, Audrey blushed before burying her face in Diana's hair.   
  
  
  
"It's all right, dear Audrey," Diana whispered. It looked like Diana now had a league of her own.  
  
To be continued . . .  
  
(Author's Note #2 - The TV personality who criticized Diana's choice of costume is a reference to a scene in the two-parter "Eclipsed", which first aired 11/8/2003.) 


	7. Chapter Seven

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (7/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Maid of Honor".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
(Author's Note - While only Chapters 1 and 2 included dialogue from "Maid of Honor", this chapter and those that follow will probably use dialogue or refer to events that took place in subsequent episodes. In such instances, asterisks will be used to identify such moments.)  
  
Chapter 7  
  
"Hawkgirl? . . . Shayera?"  
  
The sound of her real name, rarely spoken even by her teammates, got her attention in a way her commonly-used name did not, and Hawkgirl looked up from what she was involved in. "Hello, Diana," she said. She paused. "You look well."  
  
"I am well," Diana replied calmly, but there was a bright glow in her chest, and she felt it was diffusing through her entire body. Obviously it was written on her face as well. "I wanted to ask you a couple things, if you're not busy."  
  
"No," Hawkgirl said, putting the papers aside. "STAR Labs gave me these schematics for plans to make improvements to my weapon, and I think they'll work. But it can wait. What is it?"  
  
"Well, I need a favor," Diana told her. She brought her hands, which had been behind her back, in front of her. In one of them was something rolled-up. "I need someone to bring this to Queen Hippolyta of Themiscyra."  
  
"A letter?" Hawkgirl asked, holding her hand out. Diana offered it to her, and the Thanagarian found it was made of linen, rather than paper.  
  
"It's important, or I wouldn't waste my mother's time on it. For obvious reasons I can't go, nor can the League men. You're the only other person who can go." Diana sighed. "It's not for me, if that's what you're wondering. It's for someone else."  
  
"If it's important, then of course I'll do it," Hawkgirl assured her. "It's not much of a chore. What was the other thing?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You said you wanted to ask a couple things. What's the second question?"  
  
Diana hesitated. "Right. Have you done anything about - that thing you and I talked about the last time?"  
  
"You mean John?" Hawkgirl asked, surprised Diana had brought it up. "No, I haven't. Why?"  
  
"As I said before, this is about you, not me," Diana explained, "and no one can decide this but you. But if I were in your shoes, I would tell him, absolutely."  
  
Hawkgirl straightened in her seat. "You think so?" She looked down. "What if he's not interested?"  
  
"The feeling you'll get if he says yes is worth the risk," Diana said quietly.  
  
Hawkgirl stared. "Diana? This is a real change from the other day. What brought this . . . you met someone, didn't you?" she slowly realized. "No, it's more than that. You've _found_ someone, haven't you?"  
  
Diana blushed and smiled. "I didn't think it was that obvious."  
  
"Who?!"  
  
"It's a secret."  
  
"Oh, Diana, come on! After I poured my heart out to you?!" Hawkgirl entreated her.  
  
Diana shook her head. "I want to tell everyone together. I'm going to call a meeting in two days' time."  
  
"Isn't that a little formal?" Hawkgirl asked doubtfully.  
  
"Well, these are not ordinary circumstances," Diana admitted, "so I feel it would be best if everyone were given the chance to speak their mind at once."  
  
Hawkgirl looked quizzical. "It's not - a bad guy, is it?"  
  
"No, definitely not bad," Diana told her. Then she grinned. "It's not a guy, either."  
  
"A woman?" Hawkgirl asked. Then she nodded. "I suppose that's not exactly unusual back home?"  
  
"No, it's not," Diana replied. "And now you know more than everyone else, so for now, you'll have to be happy with that." She stopped. "Was this something that happened back on your planet?"  
  
"It happened," Hawkgirl said. "No one really paid it any mind. Earth's a little different, I suppose."  
  
"You just noticed?"  
  
_____________________________  
  
"Queen Hippolyta?"  
  
Hippolyta looked up from her reports. "Yes, Pomona?"  
  
"There's an airship approaching. We believe it's the one used by . . . the Justice League."  
  
"Really?" Hippolyta said. She frowned and stood up. "Try to contact the ship. If it's Diana, you know we cannot allow her to set foot on Themiscyra, so be ready to repel our visitors if necessary."  
  
It had been many months since she banished her daughter, but the notion of having to physically prevent Diana from setting her foot on her place of birth revived her feelings from that day, and she fervently hoped it was not her daughter. Even if she'd only seen her once since Diana was expelled.  
  
Pomona returned a minute later. "It is the Justice Leaguer known as Hawkgirl. She claims to be the only one on board. She says she has something for you."  
  
"Bring her here, then," Hippolyta replied, both relieved and disappointed. "The Amazons will always owe her a debt for her deeds."  
  
Rather than waiting for Hawkgirl, Hippolyta decided to go meet her, and they encountered her on the steps. "Greetings, Queen Hippolyta," Hawkgirl said deferentially. "Thank you for allowing me to come."  
  
"It was my pleasure, Hawkgirl," Hippolyta replied. "I have not seen you since Aresia . . ." She stopped and sighed. "Let us not speak of her, however. What is it you have for me?"  
  
Hawkgirl handed her the message. "It's from Diana, your highness," she said neutrally. "She says it's important."  
  
Hippolyta took the paper and unrolled it. She hadn't even considered the possibility that Diana could still send others to relay messages. She saw nothing in the law that prevented her from doing so, and she carefully read the message.  
  
"Persephone," she said to the nearest Amazon.  
  
"Yes, Queen Hippolyta?" Persephone asked.  
  
"I will be leaving for a short while," Hippolyta informed her. "I should be back tomorrow."  
  
"Queen Hippolyta?" the Amazon said, surprised.  
  
Hippolyta stared at her, and Persephone stiffened. "The others will be informed, your highness."  
  
"Queen Hippolyta, what does the message say?" Hawkgirl asked, not expecting Diana's mother to announce that she would be coming back with her. "Diana told me very little, and I did not realize she needed to speak with you in person."  
  
"Will my returning with you be a problem?" Hippolyta asked.  
  
"No, of course not. I just - "  
  
"Diana's message says something about a lost Amazon," Hippolyta told her. "Do you have any idea what that's about?"  
  
Hawkgirl instantly suspected that the Amazon in question was the woman Diana was involved with, but Diana had expressly asked her not to tell Hippolyta about that. "I don't think so," she said.  
  
"Whoever it is," Hippolyta observed, "it is obviously a matter of great import. She has asked me to return with you, and I shall."  
  
As Hawkgirl was preparing to leave, she glanced over at Hippolyta, safely ensconced in the co-pilot's seat. "Are you happy to be seeing your daughter?" she asked.  
  
"I'm not going to see my daughter. Diana would not have wasted my time for something so trivial, and I would not have come if she had."  
  
"Uh-huh," Hawkgirl murmured. She didn't point out that it wasn't a denial.  
  
_____________________________  
  
"Hippolyta," Diana said as the Amazon queen got off the ship. She'd been waiting for them in the hangar bay.  
  
"Diana," Hippolyta replied.  
  
Hawkgirl looked at them. "These mother-daughter reunions are always such Kodak moments," she said.  
  
"When the Flash is away, I think we should try to enjoy the silence, not fill the gap, Shayera," Diana told her.  
  
Her coldness shocked Hawkgirl. "Maybe I'll just leave you two alone," she muttered as she walked off, disgruntled.  
  
"I can see you want this to be as official as possible, but that was a little harsh, Diana," Hippolyta observed.  
  
"Hawkgirl seems to expect us to fall into each other's arms," Diana replied. "Like I've been pining away without you and Themiscyra."  
  
"Then you don't miss your home?" her mother asked.  
  
"No," Diana said. "I have a new home."  
  
"This orbiting upside-down goblet?"  
  
"Actually, I was thinking of the real world, Queen Hippolyta."  
  
The queen's demeanor grew frostier. "I'm glad exile suits you."  
  
"Speaking of exile," Diana said, turning to lead Hippolyta toward their destination, "I believe you saw my line about a 'lost Amazon'."  
  
"Yes, I did," Hippolyta answered. "You can't have meant yourself. You're perfectly happy not being an Amazon any longer, I see."  
  
Diana ignored her. "I wasn't referring to myself, you're right. And you're wrong."  
  
Hippolyta raised an eyebrow at this apparent paradox, but Diana did not enlighten her until they stopped.  
  
"The woman inside," Diana said quietly, "is me."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Recently we crossed paths with a Justice League from another dimension," Diana explained as she punched the passcode in. "As far as we've determined, they were just like us until certain events caused our paths to diverge. They began to employ killing and other equally extreme methods in their pursuit of justice."  
  
"You're saying there's another world's version of you in there?" Hippolyta asked.  
  
"Yes," Diana said. "I brought you here because I want you to bring her back to Themiscyra."  
  
Hippolyta looked startled for the first time as the door slid open and Diana led her down the corridor.  
  
"Hello, Diana."  
  
Her cell was well lit, but Wonder Woman was sitting in the closest thing she had to a dark corner. "Hello . . ." she began to say before stopping as her head came up. "Mother?"  
  
Hippolyta could only stare. "She looks just like you," she murmured, amazed. "Except for the hairstyle, she could fool anyone."  
  
"She is me. Or at least she was," Diana said.  
  
"I'm greater than you," Wonder Woman replied.  
  
"Why is she here, and not in her world?" Hippolyta asked. "And why is she behind bars?"  
  
Wonder Woman opened her mouth to answer, but Diana beat her to it. "We had a difference in philosophy," Diana said vaguely. "We were forced to deprive them of their powers after they tried to imprison us first. We felt we could not allow them to remain free, for fear of divulging important secrets."  
  
"Like the location of Themiscyra," Wonder Woman said.  
  
"You would do such a thing?" Hippolyta asked, appalled.  
  
"Of course not!" Wonder Woman told her. "But it was one of their reasons for keeping us here."  
  
"I never accused her of such a thing," Diana added. "But there are other things they might tell the wrong people in exchange for regaining their powers, or being sent back to their dimension."  
  
"But you can't keep them locked up forever," Hippolyta said. "Which is why you want me to bring her back to Themiscyra," she realized.  
  
Wonder Woman's mouth fell open. "Go home?" she whispered.  
  
"On the one hand," Diana said, "in her world she did many great things, and she deserves the same credit for that as I do. On the other, she needs to be kept somewhere where she can be monitored, someplace she can't leave. I thought it would give her plenty of space, familiar faces, that sort of thing." And Diana wouldn't have to go on sharing the Watchtower with her "evil twin", she didn't say.  
  
Hippolyta nodded slowly. "It could be done," she said. "I know I didn't raise my daughter to be an executioner, so I assume my parallel self did the same."  
  
Her mother's words appeared to induce more remorse than anything Diana had ever said, and Wonder Woman's cheeks became red. "She didn't," she mumbled.  
  
"But wait, Diana," Hippolyta said. "You said your paths marched largely the same road. Does that mean she was banished from her home as well?"  
  
"No," Diana lied with a straight face, again before Wonder Woman could speak. "She was not."  
  
"Wait a minute," Wonder Woman interjected. "I may have made certain choices that you were afraid to, but you and I are still the same person, and you know I'm not going to let you do this. I'm not so pathetically needy for open spaces that I'll let you lie for me. Mother, I brought the League to Themiscyra, and when Hades was gone, I was exiled forever."  
  
Diana sighed, but Hippolyta smiled. "You must be another Diana," she said, "because only you would lie to protect someone else, but never yourself." Her smile disappeared. "Still, if she broke the law - "  
  
"Technically not," Diana told her, playing her backup argument. "Since you yourself never banished her," she said, pointing at Wonder Woman, "from our island."  
  
Hippolyta regarded her carefully. "Explain that better."  
  
"I was banished for allowing men to set foot on Themiscyra A," Diana continued, having gone over this exercise in logic in her head many times. "She did the same on Themiscyra B. However, she never allowed men onto Themiscyra A, and consequently she was never banished from there. Therefore, there's no legal reason why she can't be permitted to go there. And she shouldn't be punished for something I did."  
  
"That's - a very tenuous argument you've made, Diana," Hippolyta said. She looked at Wonder Woman, who didn't appear to have much hope. "But," she continued, "some legal arguments are designed to prove facts, and some to persuade the listener. I think that I can overlook the weaknesses in your reasoning, Diana."  
  
"There will have to be some conditions, Hippolyta," Diana informed her while Wonder Woman looked stunned.  
  
"Oh, there will be," Hippolyta replied. "She abandoned her teachings. You both know the things an Amazon must do if she needs 'rehabilitation'."  
  
Diana did, and she thought it appropriate.  
  
"But," Hippolyta added, "the word rehabilitation implies that the Amazon can return to favor one day. I think both you and Themiscyra would benefit from it, Diana," she said to the woman behind bars.  
  
Wonder Woman nodded. "I have a few arguments of my own, you know."  
  
"I'm sure you do. Just don't expect to win any with your mother."  
  
"There's one other thing," Diana said. "I haven't told Kal-el about this yet. We'll need his approval."  
  
"Is he here now?" Hippolyta asked.  
  
"Yes. We can speak with him right away."  
  
"I get it now," Wonder Woman muttered. "Get my hopes up, and then smash them down. You know him. Once he's set his mind on something, he'll never change it. He won't let me go."  
  
"You're wrong about him," Diana said. "And that's what started the whole mess in your world. You shouldn't have decided it was easier to go along with his way, than to make him understand what was right."  
  
"We _were_ right," Wonder Woman replied stubbornly.  
  
"I can see I have my hands full," Hippolyta murmured.  
  
_________________________  
  
"I told her," Diana said as they walked back to the containment unit by a different route. "If there's anyone who's too stubborn to listen sometimes, it's Batman."  
  
"You must remember that she is from another world, and that there may be other small differences between the two. Perhaps in her world, Superman is much harder to deal with," Hippolyta told her.  
  
"Perhaps," Diana replied. Superman had been surprised more by the suddenness of the request than anything else. In fact the merits of the argument won him over relatively quickly, once Hippolyta assured him that Diana wouldn't be able to leave Themiscyra, and that her powers would remain dormant. "I think he was most intrigued by the possibility that we could do this with other alternates. The Lantern Corps might be able to do something with John. And if we ever made some kind of contact with Thanagar, maybe we could send the other Hawkgirl home."  
  
"But there is no more Krypton," Hippolyta said.  
  
Diana sighed. "I don't think there's much hope for the other Kal-el anyway. He's crossed too many boundaries." Then she stopped. "I hope you can do something for my double," she said, her tone formal like it was when Hippolyta first arrived.  
  
Hippolyta stopped in her tracks. "Diana, why have you treated me so coldly today? You didn't behave this way when I came looking for Aresia. What changed since then?"  
  
"I changed," Diana said after a moment. "Or rather, I saw how I might have changed. Have you considered the idea that perhaps my twin's actions were at least partially motivated by her expulsion from home?"  
  
"That is a complete abdication of responsibility," Hippolyta said angrily. "Considering you didn't make the mistakes she made."  
  
"But how many other worlds are out there? An infinite number?" Diana wondered. "How many other Dianas found it was easier to abandon their principles when their homes and families abandoned them? If she'd still had your advice to rely on, would she have crossed the line? Even I sometimes question the laws of Themiscyra, Mother."  
  
"You would," Hippolyta said, "considering you broke one."  
  
"It's a stupidly written law, Hippolyta. It should be changed," Diana retorted. "I'd say the same if it had been any other Amazon who did it. It's too rigid, and rigid things are meant to be broken. If I hadn't broken that law, what would have happened?"  
  
"I know perfectly well what would have happened," her mother said coldly. "But there is no loophole for - "  
  
"There should be," Diana told her, pointing a finger at her. "Just because we hold ourselves separate from the world of man doesn't mean we can't learn from man's laws. Murder is against the law - unless in self-defense of one's self or others. Loopholes aren't an accident of nature, mother. They're put there to prevent a law from being unjust. And that's what I'm sworn to uphold - justice. When law and justice cannot be reconciled, I choose the latter. That is a lesson my twin carried to an extreme conclusion - and again, because of her own personal experiences."  
  
"So you're saying I should just change the law?" Hippolyta asked incredulously. "I don't have that much power, and the Amazons would say I was just doing it to bring you back."  
  
"Then make it so the new law can't be applied retroactively," Diana said. "State that prior offenders must serve their original sentence, because the law was different then. And if you propose altering the law so that men can be brought to Themiscyra only in situations that threaten the entire Amazon race, where there's no other way, I think they'd accept it. If Hades had destroyed our people, there would be no one left to defend the oh-so-sacred laws of the Amazons." She paused. "To make an unjust law just shows wisdom that even Athena would commend."  
  
Hippolyta folded her arms. "I would have to stipulate that your banishment remained permanent," she said quietly.  
  
"And I accept it," Diana said. "This is not about me. It's about what could happen to others like me."  
  
" . . . I'll see what I can do," Hippolyta finally told her. "I'll convene a council, and we'll see what the people think. Is that all right?"  
  
"It's fine, mother," Diana assured her. "Thanks."  
  
Her mother nodded. "You're welcome - daughter."  
  
As they continued walking, Diana became nervous. "I don't think I could return home anyway. There's something keeping me in this world, mother."  
  
"The League, you mean."  
  
"No, something more personal."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
Diana looked away. "I shouldn't tell you. I don't want you to think I had any ulterior motive for bringing you here."  
  
"I think you had ample reason to bring me here, Diana. What is it?"  
  
"I think - I'm in love, Mother."  
  
Hippolyta gasped. "You are? Is it anyone I've met? Is it someone in the League?"  
  
"No," Diana said quickly. "Her name is Audrey. She's the princess of a European kingdom named Kasnia."  
  
"Did her status have anything to do with your decision?" Hippolyta asked. "I never knew you to put much stock in class."  
  
"I would love her if she were a teacher barely getting by," Diana told her. "True, if she wasn't a princess, we might never have met. But only because I met her when I saved her." She hesitated. "Maybe she saved me too."  
  
Hippolyta smiled. "Well, I would like to meet her some day. Maybe I could be absent from Themiscyra a time or two in the future."  
  
"Wait," Diana said, arresting her progress. "Wait here." She disappeared into another room, but quickly returned. "This is her picture. I guess subconsciously I may have taken us in the direction of my room."  
  
The Amazon queen studied the photograph. "She's lovely, Diana. But so petite! You must be several inches taller than her."  
  
"That doesn't matter, mother."  
  
"I suppose not. She makes you smile, Diana, and I'm happy for you. Although I reserve my blessing until I meet her."  
  
Diana sighed. "Yes, mother."  
  
"In the meantime, tell me more about her."  
  
"Anything you want to know," Diana said sincerely. Finally she had someone she could talk with about Audrey.  
  
"Have you become lovers yet?"  
  
"Mother!"  
  
To be continued . . . 


	8. Chapter Eight

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (8/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "The Terror Beyond".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Diana had asked Hawkgirl to come a few minutes earlier than the others, in order to give her further advance warning about what this meeting was about. Shayera had shared more than enough with Diana about her personal life, and it was the least Diana could do to make sure she was more prepared than the others would be.  
  
When she arrived, however, Diana was dismayed to see that the Flash was already there, feet on the table. Trust the world's fastest man - Superman was himself extremely fast, one ability she envied not sharing with him, but most of the League agreed that the Flash would always be a few hairs quicker - to be first to arrive.  
  
"Hey, Di," he said breezily.  
  
"Hello, Flash," Diana replied, having wanted privacy to speak with Hawkgirl. Perhaps if there was enough time, she could take her into the hall. Everyone thought this meeting was about Diana moving her alternate self to Themiscyra. It was certainly a matter that needed to be discussed, considering there were still four others on the station, but it wasn't why she'd called them together.  
  
"Stopped by Grundy's grave yesterday," the Flash continued, a look of puzzlement on his face. "I always figured that not even a nuclear bomb would do more than put him into a twelve-hour nap."  
  
Diana nodded silently. This too made her think of Shayera. In yet another trip into a different world, the Thanagarian had an unexpected encounter with her people's old gods, a brush with her homeworld's ancient culture. Most of all, however, she'd somehow bonded with the ungentle giant in such a way that the heroine, so typically aggressive, had shed unabashed tears for his passing.  
  
It had made Diana's mortification at losing a fight to Aquaman, and then being unceremoniously dragged back to Fate's home by the Atlantean, pale by comparison.  
  
Hawkgirl did choose that moment to walk in, but John followed a moment later, and Diana had no choice but to let Shayera learn the complete story with everyone else. "Diana," Hawkgirl now said as she went over to her. "Was there something you wanted to tell me?"  
  
"Not now," Diana sighed. "I had hoped for more privacy." She hesitated. "I never did get a chance to apologize for the remarks I made when you returned to the Watchtower the other day with my mother."  
  
"It's all right," Hawkgirl responded. "Your relationship with your mother isn't exactly tension-free, Diana. Whereas I have at times been rightly accused of being without tact."  
  
"Great Hera, give her politeness," Diana murmured.  
  
Hawkgirl stared at her for a moment before laughing. "I guess Batman really is the only one of us without a sense of humor."  
  
"Yes . . . wait, who said I didn't have a sense of humor?"  
  
The other League members all appeared within a few seconds of each other then, and they took their seats. "Diana," Superman invited her. "Since this meeting was your idea, I suppose you should begin."  
  
"Thank you," she said calmly. This would be somewhat similar to one of those radio shows people liked so much - or that appalling TV series that had been thankfully relegated to an hour when no one was awake. This was a chance for her fellow members to contribute to the topic of the day.  
  
She supposed the matter of their alternates needed to be brought up, but not now. It had occurred to her that even if Thanagar could be located, the other Shayera might not want to go to her home planet without her Lantern. Bringing up the lovers was always a tricky subject. Bringing them up now, knowing what she did, seemed especially tricky.  
  
"I apologize for not calling this meeting sooner," she continued, "but we all know how hard it can be to have the opportunity to sit down together. The incident with Aquaman created delays." She looked at Superman. "Have you spoken to the Egyptian government about how you managed to do more damage to the Great Pyramid than 3,000 years of erosion?"  
  
He rubbed the back of his neck. "It wasn't exactly intentional, you know," he muttered.  
  
"You're one to talk, Diana," the Flash pointed out, rising to the defense of the Blue Boy Scout (even if he didn't have any badges), "considering you knocked over a couple big, giant heads during that fight with Aquaman on Easter Island." He cocked his head. "Who won that fight, anyway?"  
  
"It was an island," she said defensively, her cheeks pinking. "It would have been different if he'd placed us in, say, the Australian outback."  
  
"Anyone in the mood for steak?" Flash asked.  
  
"All right, that's enough," Batman said dourly. The Gotham hero was known for preferring his city to League meetings.  
  
Diana nodded, sobering. "He's right. I called you here because I felt you needed to know." She stopped for a moment, because it seemed so ludicrous. She was in _love_, or a state close to it. Why was this a League matter? Because she was a foreign head of state, that was why. "You see, I've begun a relationship with someone. A romantic relationship."  
  
They stared at her. Initial reaction appeared to range from "A relationship? You?" to "I came here for this?"  
  
"I realize I must sound like ten kinds of egotist saying that," Diana quickly said before anyone could speak, "but there's a reason it's important not just for me. The other person is Kasnia's Princess Audrey."  
  
Audrey had insisted that she not be called "Queen Audrey". It suggested her father would never recover. Now that it appeared he would to some degree, her hopes had not been false ones.  
  
"The girl you rescued in Paris," Batman said flatly, although everyone in the room knew exactly who she was talking about.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"The girl who married Vandal Savage and allowed him to use her country's resources in an attempt to hold the governments of the world hostage."  
  
"She didn't know!" Diana replied angrily, smacking the palm of her hand on the table. A couple people, Superman included, started backwards. "I have more reason to hate Vandal Savage and everything he stands for than everyone in this room, and there is no doubt in my mind that she was used by him."  
  
"No one is saying she was, Diana," Superman said, always the soul of reason. "The United Nations haven't held her responsible, and neither have we." He looked around. "Still, we're surprised you haven't spoken about this sooner."  
  
"It does explain a lot," Batman replied, "such as why you were willing to come to Gotham yourself for that antidote Poison Ivy had, instead of asking me. You wanted that personal touch."  
  
"It's not something we've ever felt the need to bring up," Green Lantern said, "but I take it that on an island where men never set foot, many other Amazons choose to be with women rather than men?"  
  
"Many do, yes," she said simply. "Some do not. My mother, for instance."  
  
"Diana's relationship with a woman isn't the issue," J'onn said. "Although on Mars, while such a thing was uncommon, it was not frowned upon either."  
  
"Nor on Thanagar," Hawkgirl said.  
  
"But it is on Earth," Batman added quietly.  
  
Diana glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"J'onn is half-right. Your being with a woman isn't the issue. There are other issues as well."  
  
"Excuse me?" Diana asked, shocked.  
  
"But that's getting ahead of myself," Batman went on. "First of all, there's the matter of you're being involved with the ruling figure of another country."  
  
Diana's ire subsided, because she knew this would come up.  
  
"We're the Justice League," Batman continued carefully. "Not the Justice League of the U.N., not the Justice League of America, not the Justice League of anything. We are a neutral group, except in the pursuit of justice. It grants us access to all countries. It means we aren't denounced as interlopers or criminals or tools of a foreign state when we intervene in the crises of the various nations of the world."  
  
He turned his gaze to focus on Diana. "By associating yourself with the princess of Kasnia, you associate yourself, and by extension the rest of us, with Kasnia as well. You do remember there are sanctions against that republic, don't you?"  
  
"Of course I remember," Diana retorted. "We helped stop a half-dozen incidents in the Balkans during the last war there."  
  
"That's right," he said calmly. "We did. And we were welcomed. Would we have been welcomed by the Albanians, or the Serbians, or the Croatians if you had been involved with Audrey then?"  
  
"First of all," she replied, "nobody knows about us except my mother and the people in this room. Both of us have been aware of this issue, which is part of the reason for the secrecy before now. And at this point, neither of us have any intentions of revealing it in the future."  
  
"Just how long have you been seeing each other?" Green Lantern asked.  
  
"Several weeks, although we were just friends. I was advising her during the first difficult days after the Savage incident . . ."  
  
"Advising her?" Superman asked.  
  
"She was trying to hold her country together," Diana said firmly. "She was trying to save it from the Americans. She had no one else for guidance. I did what I could to prevent more war, yes."  
  
"So you've influenced her," Batman said. "Perhaps she might influence you too."  
  
"What are you getting at?"  
  
"Perhaps other countries - countries that are enemies of Kasnia - who will wonder what kind of pull Princess Audrey has with this League," Batman posited. "Perhaps they'll smell conspiracies."  
  
Diana sniffed and looked away. "Perfectly outlandish," she said dismissively.  
  
"Oh, I agree," he replied, "but conspiracy theorists are by definition a little out there."  
  
"Look, Diana, I think what Batman is trying to say is that if your relationship with the Princess becomes public," Superman began.  
  
"It will," Batman interrupted. "I don't think you realize, Diana, the cottage industries that have been created in Europe by the various aristocracies. You witnessed the paparazzi in Paris, but you have no idea how relentless those photographers can be. They make Lex Luthor look apathetic. Unless you and Audrey live your lives behind closed and locked doors without windows, they will sniff you out. Even then you might not be safe. If anyone has learned anything from England, it's that servants are still the most indiscreet people on the planet."  
  
"_If_ it comes out," Superman continued doggedly, "it could create the impression that you, maybe even the League, is biased in favor of Kasnia and against Kasnia's traditional enemies. We've already seen once this year how public opinion can turn against even us."  
  
"We've already seen how quickly it can swing back," J'onn observed.  
  
  
  
"That was just because we were viewed as arrogant," John pointed out. "What if we're seen as political? What if the people who don't like Kasnia decide they don't want our help?"  
  
"Lots of people in Kasnia don't like Kasnia," Diana murmured, quoting what Audrey had told her the first night they met.  
  
"If you're about to tell us who we can and can't date," the Flash warned Batman, "I don't want to hear it. Just because you'll be making your own dinners for the next fifty years doesn't mean the rest of us have to."  
  
Hawkgirl suppressed a chuckle as Batman's jaw tightened slightly.  
  
"There is a point to this, Flash," J'onn said quietly. "If you called a meeting and announced that you had become romantically involved with Star Sapphire . . ."  
  
"You say that like it's never going to happen," Flash interjected, grinning.  
  
"Or some other criminal, we would have a right to question the wisdom of such an action," the Martian went on. "So too here."  
  
Diana frowned. She'd counted on the Manhunter for more support.  
  
Which he provided her now, in a way. "I trust Diana has considered this issue and feels it won't be a problem," he said. "What concerns me more is the danger this could put Kasnia in. Diana, you have made many enemies, both on your own and with the League. What if someone decides to get at you through Princess Audrey? Perhaps they feel the easiest way to hurt you is to hurt her, or her country. Or they could abduct her and force you to obey them?" He looked down at his hands. "For some of us, who have no families or loved ones, it's not a concern. And until now, save that one time with Hades, it hasn't been a concern for you either."  
  
Diana sat there calmly. Batman worried about the League, that which he sometimes treated so lightly, and that was good. J'onn was thinking of herself and Audrey, and that was also good. "I would protect Audrey as much as anyone here would protect their parents or their loved ones," she replied softly. "But I cannot put Audrey away any more than the rest of you could put your families away, so I can only hide them and protect them. It is a choice we both bear."  
  
"It's a choice that affects us too," Batman said flatly.  
  
Her anger bubbled up again. "You're the main naysayer today, Batman. Is this something personal? Is this you just not liking her? You're the only one here who's met her, after all. _Twice_, in fact," she added, knowing only he would understand she spoke of the night Bruce Wayne and Audrey had attended the same party. That was another one of those little things for which it seemed the Leaguers never had time to talk about.  
  
Batman's eyes narrowed even as his gloved hand made deceptively calm smoothing motions on the table. Probably to prevent him from making a fist. "Then, as I said, there is the issue we mentioned earlier. About your being a lesbian, I mean."  
  
Hawkgirl rose slightly from her chair. "I don't know half of anyone's likes and dislikes here today," she said sternly, "but I never would have thought you were a bigot."  
  
"I'm not," he growled. "I don't have a problem with it. But like I said before, Earth is not Mars or Thanagar. There are probably a few _billion_ people on this planet who think homosexuality is a sin, something twisted, something that gets passed from person to person like a contagion."  
  
"There are probably a lot of people who don't think men and women of different races should mix, either," Diana said acidly, "but you don't see everyone keeping to their own. People make up their own minds about who they want to be with. They don't let others do it for them."  
  
Men and women such as John and Shayera, she thought belatedly, and she glanced at them. The Lantern sat there stolidly, as if determined not to let personal feelings intrude. Hawkgirl also looked at him for a moment before turning uncomfortable eyes on Diana.  
  
"That's true," Batman said, "but people will draw conclusions about your moral standards when they see this. You witnessed that idiot on the television doing the same thing based on what you wear. It will be much worse when people learn you're a lesbian. Like it or not, we're role models, among other things. We're looked up to. And just like a lot of parents don't want homosexuals teaching their children, a lot of people won't want one saving them either."  
  
Diana cut him off with a wave of her hand. "I'm glad we talked about this," she said bluntly, standing up.  
  
"Diana, we haven't . . ." Superman started to say.  
  
"Haven't what? Given all the reasons you're opposed to this?" Diana asked, infuriated. "I didn't call this meeting so I could open up my personal choices to debate. I thought you should know. Now you know. And that's all that matters, because you don't get to decide what I do next." Sweeping the others with a glare, she pivoted on her heel and stormed out.  
  
When she was gone, Flash turned on Batman. "If you had radiated waves of disapproval any stronger, I would have drowned, you know."  
  
"Someone had to say it," Batman shot back. "I guess it had to be the dark and brooding one."  
  
"Some of us aren't even from Earth," Hawkgirl protested, "and we're accepted. Why should her orientation be that different?"  
  
"I've been to a lot of planets," John said thoughtfully, "and I've seen hatred over a lot of things. And I've seen too much hatred right here. You think I could have done what I do fifty years ago? Believe me, I know white people who would rather _die_ than be saved by a black man."  
  
"Is that a voice of support, or opposition?" J'onn asked.  
  
He scowled. "I don't know yet."  
  
Hawkgirl made a noise of disgust and swept out of the room.  
  
The Green Lantern watched her leave with a dismayed expression on his face that quickly vanished.  
  
"We're not going to punish Diana for something ignorant people don't like," Superman finally said. "That's like not supporting democracy because some people live under tyranny."  
  
"How could we punish her? She obviously doesn't care what we think," Batman said coldly. "I'm going back home."  
  
The others looked at each other. Even the Flash seemed struck mute.  
  
"I think we should pray their relationship never becomes public knowledge," Superman said. "It would save everyone a lot of grief."  
  
"And what if they stay together?" Green Lantern asked. "They're not going to remain satisfied with kisses when no one else is in the room, you know."  
  
"I think whether this comes out or not," J'onn pointed out, "this is not the last time it's spoken of in anger. I just hope it comes soon, even if in anger. A wound should never be allowed to fester."  
  
As Hawkgirl walked down the corridor, she was surprised by Diana, who leaned against the wall, her arms folded. "You could share everything with me about John, but you couldn't give me a little more support in there?" Diana asked, irritated.  
  
"What, so I give you everything, and I give you nothing?" Hawkgirl asked, her own temper flaring.  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't . . ."  
  
"Do you know I was ready to share my feelings with John?" Hawkgirl asked.  
  
Diana's eyes widened briefly. "Shayera, that's great - what do you mean 'was'?"  
  
"You think I'm going to tell him _now_?" Hawkgirl asked incredulously. "Create more strain within the League? I can't add my feelings to the current situation, not after you lobbed that bombshell into the room!"  
  
"It is _not_ my fault that some people in there can only see the negative, and not how I feel about this!" Diana shouted.  
  
"Maybe," Hawkgirl said coolly, "and maybe it's not your fault that I feel like I'm back to square one with John. But you don't think too often of other people's feelings either, Diana. So I'm blaming you anyway." She brushed past Diana and didn't look back.  
  
Diana pressed her fingertips to her forehead. It had gone badly, unbelievably badly. All she could do was think about tomorrow night, and the red dress Audrey loved that she would wear to their first date. That was why she was doing this. It was worth it. It would be.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	9. Edited Chapter Nine

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (9/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Secret Society".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Diana looked dubiously at the structure she was about to enter. She'd been with Audrey in some of the finest hotels in Paris and Kasnia, as well as the Kasnian royal palace and country mansion. Now, however, Audrey had asked her to come to this rustic shack in the middle of the forests abutting the country manor, which appeared serviceable - by 1950s standards.  
  
Still, it had to be better than that dungeon cell so many weeks ago.  
  
Nervously she adjusted her dress before knocking on the door.  
  
The door opened slowly, and Diana gasped. Audrey favored clothing in shades of cream and silver, but tonight she was in a black sleeveless dress that clung to her upper body before flaring slightly below the waist.  
  
The princess looked at her with approval. "Hello, Diana," she said happily. "You'll forgive me if my reaction is not as extravagant as yours, but I have already had the opportunity to admire you in that dress, and I took great satisfaction in it."  
  
"Even then?" Diana asked, referring to that first night they met when Audrey helped her pick it out. "We barely knew each other."  
  
"Yes, but I have my dreams too, Diana," Audrey replied, managing to sound demure and naughty at the same time. She turned around and walked inside, granting Diana room to enter. As she moved away, Diana was spellbound both by the back of the dress, which dipped down to a point just above her waist, as well as the way the fabric of her gown accentuated the curves of her legs as she walked.  
  
Audrey cast a glance over her shoulder, and the look on Diana's face must have pleased her, because she beamed.  
  
"If this is the Kasnian hunting lodge, I'd say you were gypped," Diana said as her wits recovered.  
  
"It is only an insignificant shack that my father once used when hunting bears," Audrey told her.  
  
"I can imagine," Diana replied, noting the thick black bearskin rug near the fireplace, which roared and lent heat to the cabin. "Don't tell me you built that."  
  
"Don't be silly," Audrey said, laughing. "Just as it was not I who brought everything here. Unless you thought it always looked like this."  
  
Diana's eye took in the carefully set table, exquisite in its simplicity, as well as the flowers, the candles, and the drawn shades. "A little out of the way," she said.  
  
"Yes," Audrey told her. That little word seemed to be loaded with meaning, and Diana smiled. "It's perfect for a secret rendezvous. In fact, I lost my virginity here."  
  
"What?!!!"  
  
"Just kidding, Diana," the princess reassured her, her eyes alight with impish glee. "Actually I have never used this cabin for such a purpose. Although perhaps you might like to," she added softly.  
  
The fire was a big success, because Diana felt warm. "Is this part of the 'street map' too?" she asked faintly.  
  
"Oh, now you're just teasing me!" Audrey said, her face pouting. "Come, we're having a date, remember? I had this food cooked myself." She went over to the table and, for the first time, looked lost. "Er, which one of us sits first?"  
  
"Well, on Themiscyra, we Amazons believe a woman doesn't need a man to do anything for her," Diana replied, feeling her confidence powerfully reawakening. "So we should get our own chairs."  
  
"Right, of course," Audrey said, tapping her chin with her finger. She moved her hand toward the back of her chair.  
  
Diana's hand caught her wrist, however. "That also means a woman can do whatever she wants," she murmured as she pulled Audrey's chair out and invited her to sit.  
  
Audrey's eyes shone. "Thank you," she whispered. "But," she continued, her voice returning, "as a would-be Amazon, I think I should assert myself." Leaving the empty chair to Diana, she walked around the table and sat in the other seat.  
  
"Very well," Diana answered, considering the petite woman as she sat. She took her own chair. "How did you explain this set-up?" she asked, thinking for the first time that night of what Batman had said the day before. Specifically, the indiscretions of royal servants, but that led to other thoughts, and she clenched a fist under the tablecloth.  
  
"I told the servants I would be dining in private with a foreign dignitary. Someone royal, I believe I mentioned. I've let it be known that I'm looking very carefully at possible future husbands," Audrey told her. She grinned. "Don't worry about the help. I learned years ago that the best way for them to supplement their pay is to leak things to the press. I used that knowledge over time - especially when I wanted something naughty to reach my father's ears via the papers." Her smile faltered.  
  
"How is Gustav?" Diana asked.  
  
"He's all right," Audrey responded. "His legs are recovering slowly. His mind is healing faster, though, and my father needs his faculties more than he needs his morning walk." She lightly placed her hand on Diana's. "Could we talk of other things tonight?"  
  
"Of course, Audrey," Diana said. "What would you like to know?"  
  
"Have you told any of your friends in the League about us?" Audrey asked brightly.  
  
This time it was Diana whose face fell.  
  
Audrey looked dismayed. "Oh, I see. You haven't told them yet."  
  
"No, no, I've told them. Some of them are just - they're more concerned about the image of the Justice League than with my own happiness," Diana said coolly. "Or their own problems," she added, remembering Shayera.  
  
"What will you do?" Audrey asked.  
  
"Well, hopefully they'll understand soon. Maybe if I introduced you to them," Diana said thoughtfully.  
  
"And if they don't?"  
  
Diana hesitated. "This is a first date," she answered evasively. "We should spend more time focusing on each other, not what someone might do months from now. Nothing heavy tonight."  
  
Audrey nodded. "All right." She looked down for a second. "You look beautiful tonight, Diana," she finally said.  
  
Her words dispelled Diana's burdens for the moment. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "And you look incredible."  
  
The Kasnian princess blushed. "I've heard that a thousand times, but coming from you, somehow it's better."  
  
Diana smiled. "So what's for dinner?"  
  
"Perhaps we should remove the lids and find out?"  
  
"And dessert?"  
  
Audrey raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps we can both leave that to our imaginations."  
  
________________________________  
  
"Audrey."  
  
"No, no, Diana, we can get up in another hour . . ."  
  
Diana was able to smile for the first time in hours. This probably wasn't how either woman had envisioned her ending up in the princess' bedroom. Perhaps it was sooner than expected; it had only been a week since that wonderful first date. "Audrey, wake up. It's Diana."  
  
The princess slowly opened her eyes and focused on the superhero looking down at her. "Diana," she said sleepily. "What are you doing here? What time is it?"  
  
She glanced at the clock. "Two-thirty A.M., I think," she whispered.  
  
Audrey sat up on one elbow. "Why are - is something wrong?"  
  
"Yeah," Diana said wearily. "You could say that. The Justice League has completely fallen apart, Audrey."  
  
"What? No! It's . . . it's not because of us, is it?" Audrey asked sadly.  
  
Diana shook her head. "No, it's not." But she stopped. "Well, maybe it was a factor."  
  
"I do not understand," Audrey said, trying to clear her head. "What happened?"  
  
Diana tried to explain about how the League's teamwork had gradually disintegrated over time, culminating in a humiliating defeat at the hands of a collection of villains who had all been beaten in the past. "I think when Superman said he'd had it, that pretty much killed what little was holding us together at that point," she said.  
  
"That's horrible," Audrey said, not sure how to respond. "Only what did our relationship have to do with it?"  
  
"Well, we'd been laboring under a lot of strains lately," Diana said, sighing, "and my little revelation didn't help matters. Batman's never afraid to say what nobody wants to listen to, I'll give him that. But Hawkgirl and the Green Lantern have their own problems, and it made them irritable with virtually everybody. The Flash's tongue generally exacerbated the situation, rather than lightening it."   
  
She looked down. "There were only three people I could have gone to after I walked away. Shayera was obviously out, and my mother equally so. That left you." Diana took Audrey's hand. "I don't mean to say that you were my third choice," she hastily added. "I just knew I would have to wake you. But it only took me a second to make up my mind, and I flew here right away." Diana yawned suddenly.  
  
"Diana," Audrey asked curiously, "where exactly did you have this big fight?"  
  
"Los Angeles. Why?"  
  
"But that's several thousand miles away!" Audrey said, appalled. "You can't honestly have flown that entire distance in one night!"  
  
"I did have to stop to rest in France," Diana replied softly.  
  
Audrey nodded. "You must be exhausted, Diana. Perhaps you would like to talk more in the morning?"  
  
Diana found herself yawning yet again. "Okay, yes, Audrey. I'll be back in - "  
  
"No, no, no," Audrey said good-naturedly. "I want you to sleep here. With me."  
  
"Here?"  
  
"Naturally. You'll have to take those boots off first, you know," Audrey warned her.  
  
They looked at each other. That first night in the cabin had led to a great deal of passion, as both women had wanted and expected. They had lain next to each other on that thick rug and devoured each other. But neither woman had done more than partially disrobe. By unspoken agreement, neither woman had initiated anything more. Diana wasn't sure if she was ready for that, and evidently Audrey felt the same way.  
  
"I don't think you need to talk anyway," Audrey went on. "All you need is to lie here in my arms." She smiled hopefully. "You don't have to be Wonder Woman the Amazon all the time, you know."  
  
Diana stood up. "Hold on," she said, leaving the room.  
  
Audrey watched her leave, wondering with trepidation if she wasn't coming back.  
  
But she did come back, and her boots were off.  
  
So was her costume.  
  
Audrey gasped.  
  
"I knew I'd get that kind of reaction from you sooner or later," Diana said. Her underwear was the only stitch of clothing she had on now. Even the tiara was off.  
  
The princess wordlessly moved the blankets aside so Diana could climb in.  
  
"You're right," Diana whispered after she had slid under the covers and into Audrey's waiting arms. Her breasts pressed against Audrey's, with only the sheer silk of the princess' nightgown between them. "I don't really want to talk right now."  
  
"Then sleep," Audrey said, caressing her hair. "And dream."  
  
And so they slept, and dreamed.  
  
There was kissing first, though.  
  
________________________________  
  
"Do you have a few minutes?"  
  
Diana looked behind her and saw Hawkgirl approaching in the air. "Can it wait until the Watchtower? We've both just fought for our lives after more than a day in confinement, and I really want - "  
  
"We both know you're not going to the Watchtower," Hawkgirl said as she caught up with Diana. "Or you'd be in the ship with the others. And I think you can spare a few minutes, when you consider it will take you a couple hours to get from Gotham to Kasnia. We do know where you spend your free time now, remember?" she added when she saw the look on Diana's face.  
  
"I suppose you do," Diana replied after a moment. "All right, let's touch down for a minute."  
  
They landed together in the forests to the north of Gotham. Diana watched Hawkgirl closely. The last time they'd spoken in private, Hawkgirl had made the completely unfair suggestion that Diana had ruined her opportunity to openly tell John how she felt about him.  
  
"Do you want to be alone with Audrey because you want to be with her, or because you don't want to be with the rest of us?" Hawkgirl finally asked.  
  
"Are we being honest here?" Diana answered with a question of our own.  
  
"I think we've been honest with each other for days now. Brutally, tactlessly honest, thanks to that oversized monkey," Hawkgirl replied. "Now we can choose to be as honest - or as polite - as we like."  
  
Diana nodded. "Is this your way of saying Grodd was responsible for the things you said to me in the Watchtower last week?"  
  
Hawkgirl glared at her. "I don't think his powers extend that far beyond the Earth's atmosphere, Diana," she said curtly. "It doesn't matter, though. My words came from within me."  
  
"Then the answer is both. I want to be with Audrey. By now she's heard about what happened at the stadium, and she'll be worried about me. But I don't feel like being with the others right now, either," Diana told her.  
  
"So you don't agree with Green Lantern when he says we should say sorry and move on?"  
  
Diana laughed mirthlessly. "He's got the right idea, but he makes it sound so easy. Maybe we need counseling, because we need to deal with a lot of issues."  
  
"Like your new girlfriend?" Hawkgirl asked.  
  
"Yes, like her!" Diana retorted, her anger flaring. "Or your never-to-be boyfriend!"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"For a woman of your courage," Diana said icily, "you've been quite the coward with John. You're like a girl waiting for her crush to ask her to the school dance!"  
  
"Oh great, here we go with the Amazonian feminist lecture," Hawkgirl muttered.  
  
"This has nothing to do with what women can or can't do," Diana told her, although she was still irritated by the way that bitch Giganta had tried to play on Superman's male chauvinism earlier that night. When a woman said to a man "You wouldn't hit a woman, would you?", Diana could grit her teeth, or she could beat her silly. "This is about your personal choices. I was afraid to be truthful with Audrey. I was afraid to tell the League. But I did it, and your caterwauling that your secret somehow had precedence over mine is completely asinine. If I were to wait for you to go first, I might never have told them!"  
  
"I'm not hearing a sorry," Hawkgirl snarled.  
  
"Batman seems to think that I'll have to apologize for my feelings for Audrey someday, but that will never happen. You know, your dimensional double is nothing like you, Shayera," Diana said. "She crossed too many lines, but you never cross any."  
  
The mace in Hawkgirl's hand sprang to life, and with an outraged cry she pivoted on her heel and smashed the tree behind her to the ground.  
  
A snide remark or two sprang to mind, but Diana decided to wait for a more rational response.  
  
"You can really be a pompous bitch sometimes," Hawkgirl said.  
  
Diana kept waiting. This had been Hawkgirl's idea, after all.  
  
Hawkgirl looked away. "When we parted ways the other night, I assume you went to her."  
  
"Yes, I did," Diana replied, expecting this to lead into another diatribe.  
  
"Would it surprise you that John and I found our way to each other?"  
  
"Not entirely, no," Diana said. "We were all pretty upset with each other, but the two of you would be the most likely to talk, I suppose."  
  
"Well, I think he actually gave me an opening to be honest with him, and I rejected him," Hawkgirl told her.  
  
"What did he say?" Diana asked.  
  
Hawkgirl sighed. "He told me he would give his life for me." She glanced at Diana. "All right, we've all risked our lives for each other in the past, but that night I think we all felt like if someone else was in trouble, it was their problem. I think John was talking about something deeper. And I told him he didn't know what he was talking about."  
  
"You were upset, and let's not forget the whole not-thinking-right part."  
  
"I was resentful, not upset. Resentful that he'd seemed completely oblivious to my hints and glances, resentful that I'd done nothing more than hints and glances, resentful that during that fight I'd been more concerned with his condition than watching my own back when he was injured. And yes, resentful that you'd dropped your little bombshell." Hawkgirl flung her mace to the forest carpet. "For the first time he gives me a sign that he returns my feelings, and I wasted it. So I guess your big revelation didn't have anything to do with my own ability to share with him," she admitted reluctantly.   
  
Acknowledging error was not something either woman did easily. But Hawkgirl's admission made it easier for Diana to respond in kind. "I could have postponed the announcement," she said, "until I talked to you about it. After what you'd told me, you deserved to be the first to know, and I should have given you the chance to come clean to John first."  
  
Hawkgirl smiled, but it wasn't a happy one. "I'm not sure I would have even then. Maybe you _would_ have waited forever if I had insisted on going first."  
  
"Well, in this case," Diana replied, "I think John is correct. All you have to do is say you're sorry, ask him to forget those last words of yours, and move on by picking up the conversation where you left it. After all, he did give you that sign you were hoping for."  
  
"I just hope I wasn't reading too much into it," Hawkgirl said doubtfully. "I'm sorry, Diana."  
  
"I am equally sorry, Shayera," Diana answered.  
  
"I think most of the others will be supportive of you and Audrey once they've adjusted," Hawkgirl told her. "Your only problem is Batman. I figured him to be the bearer of bad tidings, but I never expected him to play the orientation card."  
  
"I sincerely don't believe him to be a bigot," Diana said. "But I do think years of fighting crime in Gotham has soured him a little on human nature. He expects the worst from people when it comes to things they don't understand."  
  
"I can talk to him if you like."  
  
"No, I'll deal with it eventually. If everyone talks to him, he'll feel surrounded and he'll stick to his remarks even harder."  
  
"He's not completely wrong, Diana," Hawkgirl warned her. "Even more than I, you're a role model to millions of girls around the world, and some people with microphones and podiums and pulpits will say very loudly that you are corrupting them with the notion that homosexuality isn't an affront to notions of truth, goodness, and decency."  
  
"But it isn't," Diana pointed out.  
  
"You're right, but to them, it is. Which is why you should go right ahead and corrupt them," Hawkgirl added with a smile.  
  
Diana nodded solemnly. Then she grinned. "So I'm more of a role model than you?"  
  
"It's the wings, Diana. Daddy can buy his little girl a lasso and a tiara, but wings are a little harder to come by."  
  
Hawkgirl then leapt into the air, but she hovered briefly over Diana. "Tell Audrey I'd like to meet her sometime. I want to know what kind of woman could wrap you around her finger."  
  
"I'll do that," Diana said. She watched Hawkgirl leave and hoped other differences could be solved so easily, instead of just being papered over.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	10. Chapter Ten

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (10/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Secret Society".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Diana descended from the skies. "This was an unexpected invitation," she said.  
  
Batman didn't even turn around. He continued to monitor the area in front of him with binoculars. "Thanks for coming," he only replied.  
  
"What are we doing here?" she asked.  
  
"This rooftop is the closest high ground to Arkham Asylum," Batman explained.  
  
"I see," Diana said. She saw the hospital less than a mile away. The fact that Batman had invited her to Gotham for this late-night assignment still surprised her. Both because of his response to her revelation concerning Audrey, and because of the last time she'd come to Gotham, that time uninvited. "What's going on?"  
  
He turned his head to look at her. "The means with which Flash and Hawkgirl took care of Clayface the other night was effective, but messy," he said.  
  
"Inserting large amounts of lit fireworks into a mass of mud will do that," she said dryly.  
  
"Yes, but it scattered his body over a wide range. Nobody, not even I, is really sure how much clay there is in Matthew Hagen," he acknowledged grudgingly. "He appears to be able to replicate himself to some extent. But when the authorities collected the clay pieces that night for delivery to Arkham, I doubt they were able to get it all."  
  
"Probably," she agreed, "but is that a problem? I mean, it's only a fraction of his body."  
  
"Clayface has learned how to put himself in multiple places at once," he told her. "He's managed to split himself into as many as four separate pieces able to think individually. Which creates problems just like this." Batman paused. "For example, why has Brainiac never been permanently defeated?"  
  
"Because he's just a computer program," Diana said, "and he has copies of himself everywhere."  
  
"Exactly," Batman agreed. "Clayface will many times leave a portion of himself someplace safe before a fight, and if he's taken into custody, the smaller portion will find a way to free the rest of him. We're lucky he didn't do that before he fought J'onn, or the scene at the stadium could have turned out much differently."  
  
"That's bizarre," Diana answered.  
  
"That's Clayface."  
  
"So you think it will happen tonight?"  
  
"Arkham staffers will be doubly distracted tonight," he told her, looking toward Arkham again. "Quinn is being returned to their custody tonight, which means they'll also have to monitor the Joker for signs of unrest."  
  
She nodded before starting. "Quinn? Harley Quinn? She's back."  
  
"She's being extradited from Striker's as we speak," Batman said. "She should be here within the hour."  
  
"But what about Poison Ivy?"  
  
"I thought you knew," he said. "She escaped a few days ago."  
  
"Escaped? Without Quinn?"  
  
He nodded. "Funny. They were in the same cell, too, but either Ivy didn't want her to come, or Quinn didn't want to go. She's not talking, at any rate. She just dropped the fight against the extradition."  
  
Diana stared at the asylum. "Really," she said.  
  
Batman said nothing.  
  
"So why me?" she asked.  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Why not Superman or GL or one of the others? Why did you ask for me?"  
  
He didn't respond immediately. "For starters," he finally said, "I didn't feel like spending several hours alone with Flash."  
  
She smiled but waited for more.  
  
"Also," he continued, "we need to talk. About your princess."  
  
"She's not mine," Diana replied, annoyed. "She's my girlfriend, not my possession."  
  
"Hawkgirl seemed to think I was some kind of bigot the other day," he continued, unabashed.  
  
"Are you?"  
  
Batman shook his head. "I'm not. This isn't about me. I will admit that she doesn't seem worthy of you . . ."  
  
"That's not your judgment to make," she retorted. "And you say that because you've based your opinion entirely on that one night in Kasnia."  
  
"You're right, my opinion doesn't matter when it comes to who you're attracted to," Batman said. "Although even before Vandal Savage's coup d'etat, there was Kasnia's meddling in the Balkans - "  
  
"Something several different countries were guilty of."  
  
"And wholesale arms smuggling via the black market for years. They even sold guns to Ra's al-Ghul."  
  
"That was her father and his ministries, not her."  
  
"Even so, Kasnia has a bad reputation in the world community, and I don't want to see your good name besmirched if your connection to Audrey gets out," he said calmly.  
  
"How about your not-so-private connections, speaking of al-Ghul?" Diana shot back. "Talia al-Ghul and Catwoman don't exactly have clean records, and yet I don't remember anyone bringing _that_ up when you entered the League."  
  
Batman didn't reply at first. "I'm the Dark Knight," he said finally. "I play bad cop, not good cop. I'm the one with the reputation for only operating under cover of night. When I'm linked to someone like the Demon's daughter, people aren't exactly surprised. When your name is linked to the future ruler of an autocratic regime with criminal ties, people will react differently."  
  
"That almost sounded like a compliment," Diana said.  
  
"Like I said, you're a role model," Batman responded. "We've seen how quickly the public can turn on us. The League needs heroes with spotless reputations like you and Superman." He put the binoculars aside and turned toward her. "I see the worst of humanity every night I'm in Gotham, whether I'm Batman or . . . Bruce Wayne."  
  
Diana looked at him. "Now you admit it," she said.  
  
"There were people around that night," he told her. "Someone could have overheard. How did you know, by the way?"  
  
"I've sparred with Batman, and danced with Bruce Wayne," Diana explained. "There were similarities. Plus the voice, and the fact that you were both in Paris at the same time, when you're usually both in Gotham . . . don't worry, I haven't told anyone."  
  
"I'm not," he said. "Superman knows."  
  
"With that X-ray vision, it would be hard not to, I guess."   
  
"Anyway, I don't have a lot of faith in the public's capacity for handling your sexuality," he continued. "And even in those countries in Europe where it probably won't be a big deal, they're the people who are most likely to be upset about the Kasnian angle. It's like you've found something that will stir everyone's pot equally."  
  
"And if Hakwgirl or J'onn announced they had fallen in love with a human, that would be an interspecies relationship, which some people might view as a form of bestiality," Diana said exasperatedly. "Look, Batman, if you're just warning me about the possible dangers, I appreciate it, even if I've already considered them. But if you're making this out to be some kind of threat - drop Audrey or we'll boot you out of the Justice League . . ."  
  
"None of us want you to leave," Batman interrupted quietly. "We've all seen how less effective the League is when it's shorthanded. If your secret gets out and the public raises a stir, we'll stand behind you. But it needed to be said."  
  
Diana waited, but he didn't appear to have anything more to say. "All right," she finally said.  
  
"Diana."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"There is no connection to Talia," he told her. "It was a fling. The fact that she chooses to see it as something more doesn't change that."  
  
"Fine," Diana replied. "What about Catwoman?"  
  
"There's the van they're using to transport Quinn," he said quickly, taking the binoculars again.  
  
Diana smiled. They waited there for several hours, but there was no sign of Clayface anywhere, and they parted ways a few hours before dawn.  
  
_________________________________  
  
That didn't mean Diana had left Gotham. In fact she returned to Arkham Asylum a couple hours after the sun rose. "We had no idea you were coming, Wonder Woman," one of the doctors said as he hurried alongside her. "In fact, we rarely see any of your number, except of course - "  
  
"I know," she said as she strode forward purposefully. "Has there been any incidents with Clayface since he was returned?"  
  
"None that we know of," the doctor said. "We've been extremely careful, though. Until we saw the footage from the football game, we had no idea he could become that large."  
  
"I'm told Harley Quinn was extradited last night," she mentioned. "Is she kept near the Joker?"  
  
"Goodness, no," the doctor told her. "They have their ups and downs, but very little in between. They're a destructive pair. Whether they focus their destruction on innocent people or on each other depends on their mood at any given moment."  
  
"I'd like to speak with her," Diana said.  
  
"You're not here for Hagen?" the doctor asked, surprised.  
  
"I'm looking for information unrelated to the Clayface incident," she said vaguely.  
  
A minute later she found herself looking through the reinforced transparent barrier that kept Harley Quinn in her cell. Under the harsh lights, Quinn looked thirty-eight, not twenty-eight as she was. Of course, it might not be an effect of the lighting. Her medical record was littered with injuries caused by fights with Batman, other superheroes, and the police, but the Joker was responsible for multiple fractures and bruises. For Quinn, aging and death would come equally prematurely.  
  
"Hello, Harley," Diana said.  
  
Harley looked at her but didn't respond.  
  
"Enjoy Metropolis? . . . How about Striker's Island?"  
  
"S'okay," Harley muttered.  
  
"Seen Poison Ivy lately?"  
  
"Gee, here I thought you wanted to catch up," Harley answered sarcastically.  
  
Diana didn't rise to her flippancy. Harley was a lightweight compared to most criminals she'd faced. "She left you behind," she reminded the lunatic. "Is that part of the plan? Rescue you after the transfer was made?"  
  
"Maybe," Harley said.  
  
"Maybe? Don't you know? I thought you were 'bestest friends'," Diana said, having studied the files for both women. "Doesn't she share things with you?"  
  
"She shares plenty," Harley snapped.  
  
"Why raise your voice, Harley?" Diana asked. "Maybe Ivy shared a little too much with you?"  
  
Harley looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
Diana sat on the floor and crossed her legs so she could see Quinn's eyes better. "Ivy shared a few things with me. Not that she wanted to - I sparred for too many years on my home island not to be an expert reader of body language."  
  
"I have nothing to say," Harley said, turning her back on Diana.  
  
"My guess is she was afraid she was going to lose the extradition fight, so she decided to tell you how she felt about you," Diana continued, not caring if Harley faced the other way or not. Like she said, she could read the signals a person's body made like she could read a book, and even someone's back could be expressive. "And because of this sick, deluded, suicidal, romantic fancy you have for the Joker, you rejected her."  
  
"We're in love," Harley retorted. She tried to sound tragic, but it came out like a whine. "I'm the only person who understands Mister J, sees him for the genius he is. That's why he needs me."  
  
"He needs you because no one else will laugh at his twisted sense of humor," Diana said coldly. "He doesn't love you. He keeps you around. You're just a groupie who occasionally gets the right to fold his underwear and cook his meals."  
  
"Stuff it," Harley spat at her.  
  
"So anyway, you rejected Ivy, and she couldn't handle that. Which meant she couldn't handle sharing a cell with you any more," Diana said. "So she escaped. No one knows whether you chose to stay behind, or she refused to take you, but personally, I'd put my money on the latter. Ivy's not exactly a functional person either. She flies off the handle a lot, according to her files. I bet the next time you go looking for her, you'll find every door closed to you. You're dead to her."  
  
"Stop it! Just leave me alone!" Harley screeched, but Diana could tell she was crying, and her shoulders were hunched high above her head. Her chin must have been resting against her chest practically.  
  
She seemed to have a real knack for reducing these two to tears, Diana reflected. "I'm not convinced that any of you know what love is - you, Ivy, or the Joker. You're too selfish, too greedy. You and Ivy probably would have been just as much a disaster as the relationship you're in right now. But at least you might have had one thing you don't have now." Diana stood up. "Someone to love you back."  
  
Harley's only response was to move from the back of the room to one of the corners, where she continued to face the wall.  
  
Diana shrugged and walked away. When Poison Ivy was caught, it wouldn't be because of Harley. The girl - she was too immature to be considered a woman - didn't know anything. She felt an odd compulsion to pry into their relationship, but she didn't see anything she could do about it, and it wasn't her problem anyway.  
  
When she heard that Quinn had escaped with the Joker a couple days later, Diana figured the book was closed on them.  
  
______________________________  
  
When Hawkgirl found out who had scheduled her for monitor duty with the Flash, they were going to get their very own special kind of lollipop - the kind that electrified.  
  
She wasn't sure what he was talking about now. His van, she believed. John had told her about it. "It looks like it's style without substance, but it's got an extremely powerful engine under the glitz," he'd said.   
  
"In other words," she'd replied, "it suits him perfectly."  
  
Shayera hadn't spoken to John lately. It was something she was avoiding. She was waiting for the right time to tell him. She just wasn't sure if her heart and mind were in some sort of conspiracy to make her think that. Would there ever really be a "right time"?  
  
She'd said very little to the Flash, and only now did it register with a superhero who talked enough for two people. "So what do you think, Hawkgirl?" he asked.  
  
Having studiously not listened, she couldn't really say. But Superman had advised her once that the best course of action was to turn the conversation to something you were actually interested in. Flash would take care of the rest. "Some people don't get it," Superman had said. "They grit their teeth and try to ignore it, when they should make the best of it."  
  
And there had been something she'd wanted to raise with the others . . .  
  
"Here's a question for you," Hawkgirl said. "What's your take on Diana's new relationship?"  
  
The Flash looked at her, and then he smiled. "Wasn't sure if that was a taboo subject with you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Everyone knows you and Di are close."  
  
Closer than they'd been last week, Hawkgirl thought. "So what's your opinion? Honestly."  
  
"Batman doesn't tell me who to date," Flash said. "Why should she be any different?"  
  
"It doesn't bother you that she's with another woman?" she asked.  
  
"Actually, there are two reasons why Diana being with another woman is better than her being with a man," he confided.  
  
Hawkgirl began to wonder if this had been a good idea.  
  
"One," Flash continued, "if she's a lesbian, then I never had a shot with her, and that's why she never responded to my essential suaveness."  
  
She closed her eyes and shook her head.  
  
"Two, and any man will tell you this, there's the whole girl-on-girl thing," he said.  
  
"Does your _brain_ have any opinion on the matter?" Hawkgirl asked, annoyed. "By that I mean the one in your head, not the one below your belt."  
  
Flash stopped. "Just that it doesn't bother me," he said. "I mean, the whole point of the last couple of weeks is that we're supposed to be able to trust each other. So I'm going to trust that Diana knows what she's doing."  
  
"Works for me," Hawkgirl said after a moment.  
  
"It should," Flash replied, grinning slyly. "It means I can focus all my flirtation on you now."  
  
Hawkgirl almost choked. "And what," she asked, coughing, "would you do if I met someone?" Since it wasn't exactly a hypothetical.  
  
"I've thought about that, actually," Flash answered, still smiling. "I would move that we add a new member to the League. Female, of course."  
  
"Of course," Hawkgirl said sarcastically. "What better reason to expand the League?"  
  
"Are you saying the five-to-two male-female ratio doesn't bother you?" he asked cunningly.  
  
She didn't have a response to that.  
  
"I happen to have considered a few possibilities," he continued. His fingers moved at a rapid pace over the keyboard in front of him.  
  
Hawkgirl stood up and went behind his chair so she could see the screen better. "Supergirl?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"She's got Supes' powers," Flash said. "I'd say she's qualified. But those powers could be a liability too."  
  
"You mean kryptonite?"  
  
"No, I mean, how well can she suppress them? You ever listen to the Kinks?"  
  
"I thought I was doing that right now."  
  
"Ha-ha. 'I'm not the world's most physical guy, but when she squeezed me tight, she nearly broke my spine.' It's from a song they did. It got me thinking. What if Supergirl squeezes me in the throes of passion and breaks my back or something?"  
  
Hawkgirl could only wonder the things he told John in that van of his.  
  
"So I figured we should find a woman who gets by without super strength. I do have a couple candidates," he said modestly.  
  
She stared at the first name. "Is this a joke?" she asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Black _Canary_?"  
  
He looked at her. "Oh, right, the bird thing. Sorry, I hadn't thought of that. Still, just look at her. That profile! She's a blonde, just what the League needs. And she doesn't feel the need to hide that face with a mask."  
  
Facing the computer, he couldn't see the way her eyes flashed behind her own mask. "You know, if you want to add an experienced member, someone good-looking with blonde hair who doesn't wear a mask . . ." she said speculatively.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
She hit a few buttons as she leaned over his shoulder. "_And_ has experience with the League, as a bonus," she added.  
  
The Flash stared at Aquaman's photo. "Funny, Hawkgirl," he muttered.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (11/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episode "Hereafter".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 11  
  
"I was angry," Diana said quietly as she put the finishing touches on her attire. "I'd suffered some reversals on the battlefield lately - against Aquaman at Easter Island, then the Secret Society ambush, and now I'd been put through a building by a numbskull with nothing more than a good right hook." She looked ashamed. "I think all the time I've been spending with Audrey has allowed my fighting skills to deteriorate a little."  
  
Hippolyta shook her head. "You can't expect to have the same amount of time for training when you have someone in your life. Still, it's good that you recognize this, and you will have to work harder in the time you do have." She smiled a little. "It's not a reason to cut down on your time with her, though."  
  
"I wasn't suggesting that," Diana said. "I need more time with her, not less. Especially now," she added, sighing. "But you're right about having to work harder. With Superman gone, we'll all have to."  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
"It's too soon," Diana muttered crossly. "I need time to finish."  
  
Her mother went to the door. "Yes?" she asked, opening it.  
  
One of the Amazons who had accompanied Hippolyta from Themiscyra stood there. "There's someone here to see Diana," she said calmly. "A woman."  
  
"Hawkgirl?" Diana asked, turning her head.  
  
"Are all you Amazons so tall?" Audrey asked from behind the Amazon. Her head barely came up to the woman's shoulders.  
  
"Audrey?!" Diana gasped. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Let her in, Daphne," Hippolyta said.  
  
The Amazon disappeared as Audrey came in and closed the door behind her. "Haven't you heard? Heads of state from over four hundred countries? Did you think Kasnia wouldn't send someone?"  
  
"You never mentioned you were coming," Diana pointed out.  
  
"I wasn't sure if I could get away from my security detail," Audrey replied. "I didn't want to get your hopes up. I can't stay long, though. I don't intend to cause a scandal on such an occasion."  
  
"I'll be watching for you in the crowd," Diana said. "Mother, this is . . ."  
  
"I think I know, Diana," Hippolyta said dryly. "Princess Audrey of Kasnia, correct?"  
  
Audrey smiled. "You must be her mother, Hippolyta."  
  
"I am. Diana has told me much about you."  
  
"She has mentioned you on occasion," Audrey responded. "Once I had the impression that you never spoke any more. I am happy to see that is no longer the case."  
  
"Audrey, before you go," Diana said, "I was talking to my mother about something, and I wish you would stay until I finish."  
  
"Sit next to me, Audrey," Hippolyta invited.  
  
"I was telling my mother about the day Superman - was lost," Diana explained. "About how angered I was by my latest setback in battle, how embarrassed I was." She looked anguished. "Great Hera, it seems so little compared to how I felt after."  
  
Then she turned away from them. "I was an easy target," she said softly. "So Toyman's shot was meant for me. That service should be for me today. If my reflexes weren't so poor, if I hadn't allowed myself to be knocked down and rendered such a sitting duck, Superman never would have been hit." Diana exhaled, resigned. "I deserve to be the one who's gone."  
  
"Diana, no!" Audrey said, appalled, Hippolyta just an instant behind her. "That's a horrible thing to say! Even Superman would tell you it isn't so."  
  
"Daughter, if it had been an ordinary bystander who Superman saved from getting hit instead of you, would you blame that person?" Hippolyta reasoned.  
  
"That's different," Diana whispered. "I'm a member of the Justice League. I knew better than to let myself - "  
  
"You and your teammates have saved each other a hundred times," Hippolyta said. "Any one of those times, you could have died saving them."  
  
"I thought we got past this," Audrey added.  
  
"What?" Diana asked, bewildered.  
  
"In Kasnia," Audrey reminded her. "I blamed myself for not listening to you. You blamed yourself for not thinking things through fast enough. We agreed not to wallow in those kinds of feelings."  
  
Diana chuckled bitterly. "How about self-loathing? Is that one of those kinds of feelings? Because the anger I felt when I was struggling out of the wrecked foundations was a thimbleful compared to the hatred in my heart when I held that simpering Toyman in my hands," she said murderously. "I looked at that fake grin, and I knew how self-satisfied he felt because he, HE, got to go down in crime history as the man who killed Superman. And I told him I was going to put a hole in his head. It wasn't enough for me to destroy the mask, Audrey. I wanted to destroy the face and the mind behind it too."  
  
"That kind of emotion is understandable, Diana," Hippolyta said soothingly. "But you didn't, and - "  
  
"I stopped because Flash got there first," Diana told them.  
  
"Did he physically hold you down to stop you?" Hippolyta asked.  
  
"No, he just held my wrist and talked to me, reminded me that the League doesn't do that kind of thing."  
  
"Then the Flash didn't stop you. He just got you to think. You stopped you."  
  
Diana shook her head. "Don't you see, Mother? It was another side of myself, and I only caught a glimpse of it, but I recognized it. I should have, because she sat in a cell on the Watchtower. I've asked myself how I could allow myself to choose who deserved to die so easily. I wondered if perhaps that other Diana was different, twisted in some way. Now I know how easily I could be her."  
  
Hippolyta straightened and clasped her hands in front of her waist while Audrey watched helplessly, wanting to hold Diana. "You haven't asked about her, you know."  
  
Diana blinked before realizing whom she meant. "I suppose I wanted to forget about her."  
  
"She's doing well, in case you wondered. Some of the others murmured that it was a trick, that it was you in disguise, but the positions she debated in public quickly silenced them. They were words you could never utter, Diana."  
  
"Maybe she didn't have a Flash to stop her," Diana muttered. And of course she didn't. Flash was dead in that universe, after all.  
  
"Maybe," her mother acknowledged. "But I think she's beginning to see the error of her ways. It's hard. It means owning up to a lot of mistakes, a lot of guilt. Life will be hard for her, but that's what atonement is about. The thing is, I love her the way I love you, and it breaks my heart when I look at her and think, 'How easily she could have been you.'"  
  
Diana watched her mutely as Hippolyta came toward her and cupped her cheek.  
  
"I can't tell you not to feel this way, because it's natural for people to question themselves when things like this happen," Hippolyta went on. "I felt that way when I saw Amazons die. As a queen, I ask myself every time if I could have made better decisions." She looked at Audrey. "When she is queen in her own right, she too will have days like that. I trust she will work toward fewer rather than more, but she will doubt her judgment when they do come. From what she's said today, I think she's already had a night or two like that."  
  
"I have," Audrey said quietly.  
  
"And it's the mark of a noble soul that you do," Hippolyta told them both. "The other Diana took her guilt and her doubt and her remorse, and she tied them into a ball and threw them into a deep well in her heart. But they're starting to resurface now. You, however, know the difference between right and wrong, but you doubt your ability to always know which is which. Sometimes, that can be a very great strength, Diana."  
  
Diana looked down. "I feel awful, Mother. I feel like I've let the world down."  
  
"And in time, you will lift it back up," Hippolyta assured her. "And I am sure Audrey will try her best to lift you up."  
  
Diana's mother stepped back to let Audrey go to her. The princess did so, wrapping her arms around Diana's waist and hugging her fiercely. "I am not strong like you," she said firmly, "but I will lift you to the stars if I have to."  
  
She put her arm around Audrey and held her tightly. "I know," she said, kissing her on the top of her head.  
  
There was a knock at the door. "Princess Diana," Daphne said from the other side of the door, "it's almost time."  
  
"You'd better go," Diana sighed.  
  
Audrey nodded. "We'll speak briefly at the service. No one will pay any mind then." Kissing her on the cheek, Audrey smiled at Hippolyta and let herself out.  
  
The Amazon queen looked at her daughter. "She was quite a find," she said. "How did you meet her again?"  
  
"A helicopter that fell from the sky," Diana said. She picked up her headdress. "Want to help me get this straight?"  
  
_________________________  
  
"I'm still a little confused," Flash said. "What did you mean when you said this was for his own good?"  
  
"This" was in reference to Superman punching Vandal Savage in the jaw and knocking him out cold.  
  
Superman scratched his beard. He'd learned to ignore it in the future, but now that he was back, it seemed to itch constantly. "It doesn't matter now," he replied. He considered it ironic that by saving the world, he had unmade the evolution of Vandal Savage into a human being.  
  
Still, the Earth didn't have thirty thousand years to wait for Savage to learn the concept of "regret".  
  
"I can't believe the United States was able to let him escape so quickly," the Martian Manhunter said.  
  
"I can't believe they didn't tell us," Green Lantern added. He looked at Diana. "Do you know if they told your friend?"  
  
She shook her head. "Believe me, she would have said something if they had. Perhaps they even think the Kasnians were complicit. Certainly I'm amazed he was able to escape. I guess immortality lets you learn a lot of tricks."  
  
Superman's head went up. "I think Wonder Woman just gave me an idea," he said thoughtfully. "We should lock Savage up in the Watchtower for now."  
  
"You don't think we should leave him for the Americans?" Hawkgirl asked, surprised.  
  
"That's exactly what I think," Superman replied. "Only I'd appreciate it if you could go on without me."  
  
"Need a shave?" Flash asked wryly.  
  
"Actually, there are a few people who I want to see before they find out I'm alive from the press," Superman replied calmly.  
  
"Try not to scare Lois," Diana said.  
  
"Is it that obvious?"  
  
"You should have seen her rip into Luthor at the service," John told him.  
  
Superman turned to face him. "Lex Luthor was at my service?"  
  
_________________________  
  
Lex Luthor hung up the phone. Fundraising was turning out to be harder than he would have liked. He didn't want to threaten people with their dirty laundry. That could wait until after he was elected.  
  
It looked like he was going to have to give her . . .  
  
He swiveled around in his chair and found Superman standing in front of him. "Gaah!"  
  
"Sorry, Luthor. Didn't mean to frighten you," Superman said, smiling.  
  
Luthor scowled. "Just like a bad penny," he replied. Then he blinked. "What is that thing on your face?"  
  
"It's a beard, Lex. I realize you probably don't remember what facial hair looks like."  
  
Lex surprised him by laughing out loud. "I could have a razor blade made from kryptonite for you, if you like," he replied.  
  
Superman rubbed his chin ruefully. Luthor had hit upon the crucial problem. His skin and physiology, combined with the yellow sun, didn't permit facial hair. Under the red sun, however, his beard grew fairly quickly. If he'd thought to shave it in the future, it would have been relatively simple. Now, however, he had to figure out how to safely shave hair which would not yield to conventional razor blades. "You must be so happy to see me, you'd grant me any request tonight."  
  
"Actually, I am glad to see you in a perverse fashion," Luthor replied. "Did Lois tell you?"  
  
"She did. It wasn't all for the cameras? Deprived of the opportunity of finishing me yourself?"  
  
Luthor smiled enigmatically. "Even I felt the world was slightly askew without you in it."  
  
"Oh, I was still in it. Toyman sent me thirty millennia into the future."  
  
"Really," Luthor said, intrigued. "Was it a paradise? Hell on earth? Somewhere in between?"  
  
"It's not important now," Superman replied. "It doesn't exist any longer."  
  
"No, I suppose not." Luthor glanced at his watch. "I'd love to continue this chat, Superman - a rather unique banter we're having - but I'm working on my campaign."  
  
"At this hour?" Superman asked, suspicious.  
  
Luthor shrugged. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Superman. I'm a workaholic. Which is one reason why I'll win the next mayoral election in Metropolis, and why I'll succeed at it."  
  
Superman raised an eyebrow. "Mayor?"  
  
"I could run for Congress, true. Much bigger criminals than I have done so, and won. But after dealing with one during my stint as a CEO, I don't feel like joining a glorified board of directors."  
  
"You'll try to exceed your authority if elected, Lex," Superman replied. "And I'll stop you."  
  
Lex smiled. "The world doesn't feel so askew any more," he said before picking up the phone receiver again.  
  
As Superman flew off, Lex dialed a number. "Buy now, while the market is still depressed," he said. "He's back."  
  
____________________________  
  
"Dearest," Audrey said affectionately, smiling broadly as she raised her hand to pinch his cheek. Then she slapped him across the face. "It's so good to have you back, Vandal. We didn't get to play nearly enough the first time."  
  
"How's the old vegetable?" Vandal asked, mindless of the sting.  
  
Audrey's smile became grim, yet triumphant. "He'll walk again soon enough, but his mind is sound. What, didn't you catch it on the news? Take him away and find some dark hole for him until I have time for him," she commanded some of her men.  
  
"I think one of us should go with them," Diana volunteered. She was quite nervous, and it felt like it was requiring all her prodigious strength not to show it. "He's escaped from one army already."  
  
"I'll do it," Green Lantern said.  
  
"We must talk later," Audrey added, smiling. "It wouldn't do for your six comrades to enjoy my company while you sit in a dungeon somewhere. I'm quite the party girl, you know."  
  
He nodded to her and followed the chained form of Vandal Savage to wherever they planned to hold him.   
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Princess Audrey," Superman said. "I was away during the previous incident."  
  
"It's an honor to meet you, Superman," Audrey replied. "I thought the privilege would be denied me forever until a couple of days ago."  
  
He gestured to the other members of the League. "I'm sure they need no introduction, but . . ."  
  
Flash materialized in front of her in the merest eyeblink of a red blur. "The Flash," he said suavely, taking her hand and kissing it.  
  
Her laugh was musical and delighted. "So it's true what they say about you."  
  
"They?" he asked, looking at her knowingly.  
  
"Yes, they," she answered, not about to let anything slip.  
  
"This is the Martian Manhunter, and Hawkgirl," Superman said, gesturing to each. "Of course you already know Batman and Wonder Woman."  
  
"Of course," Audrey agreed, sparing Diana a moment's glance. "I am sorry we never did have the opportunity to dazzle the Parisian paparazzi again, Wonder Woman."  
  
"If we do," Diana replied, "I'm still not going to be pummeling them mercilessly."  
  
Audrey grinned, and Diana wondered how many of the photographers taking their pictures were feeling a bit of nausea.  
  
"I also want to commend you on your country's recent move toward democracy," Superman went on.  
  
She straightened. "I think we can all agree that after what happened the last time, it's no longer safe for practically all the power in our country to rest in the hands of a king. It was my decision to grant greater powers to our elected assembly, although my father gave the decision his stamp of approval prior to its passage."  
  
"Where is King Gustav?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Inside," she said, gesturing to the manor doors behind her. "He doesn't like to be photographed or seen in public in a wheelchair. He still hopes he will be walking again soon." The merest hint of a shadow crossed her face before being banished by her queenly façade. "I am sure he is right," she added.  
  
"Superman! Superman!"  
  
The Justice League turned and looked at the crowd of reporters. "One question, you," he said, pointing at one of the men in front.  
  
"Figures," more than one person muttered nearby.  
  
"Alexander Foxx, from the International Bureau of the Daily Planet," the reporter identified himself. "Why has the entire Justice League come to Kasnia today, and why are they delivering Vandal Savage III into Kasnian custody, not back to the Americans?"  
  
"The American government has not yet released information concerning how Savage was able to escape from their custody," Superman replied. "Nor have they explained why they failed to notify us or the United Nations that the man who corrupted the goals of the International Space Station, and who tried to wipe Paris from the map, had in fact escaped. Until the United States has conducted a thorough investigation of these errors, we feel it best if Savage remains in someone else's hands."  
  
"Why here then?" Foxx asked. "Why the country that he formerly led?"  
  
"Let's get something straight here," Wonder Woman told him, moving next to Superman. "There has been no evidence that the Kasnian royal family were in league with Savage. They were in fact his victims as well, as Savage poisoned King Gustav as a means to the throne. The Kasnians wish to see Savage remain behind bars as much as the rest of us do."  
  
"Our visit is nothing more than a sign of our faith in the best intentions of the Kasnian government," Superman added, "which in recent days has transferred major new powers to its elected officials, creating a constitutional monarchy that I trust will one day become a full democracy."  
  
"Wonder Woman! Is your visit business or pleasure?"  
  
Audrey reddened slightly, but Diana smiled. "Business. Princess Audrey told me how rule has matured her. She says I'm too wild for her,"  
  
There was surprised laughter from the crowd.  
  
"If you please," Audrey said to the League. She looked at the superhero nearest to her and saw Batman staring back at her piercingly. "Let's go inside and introduce you to my father," she continued, shrugging off the Bat's inspection.  
  
"You're saucy today," Hawkgirl whispered to Diana as they filed into the mansion on the country estate.  
  
"It's the adrenaline," Diana replied, glad the hardest part was over.  
  
Then she saw the stern face of the man who had no idea his daughter was in a romantic relationship with her, and she revised her earlier opinion. This would be the hardest part.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (12/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episodes "Wild Cards" and "Comfort and Joy".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 12  
  
"Your Majesty, it appears two of Princess Audrey's bodyguards are here to see you."  
  
He sighed. "Show them in, then," he said, waving a hand.  
  
Gustav, still king of Kasnia despite what Vandal Savage and that poison of his had planned, settled in behind his desk. He remembered a hundred different nights where Audrey returned just before dawn, yet another team of guards stymied by her preternatural knack for eluding them. She had a devilish gene running through her entire makeup, and Gustav thanked God that it only extended to parties and photographs. Audrey had never shown any interest in drugs.  
  
Lately, however, she'd been different. Her time as Regent of Kasnia had been a formative experience like nothing since the death of his wife. She'd quietly struggled to right the ship of state after its disastrous connection to Savage's power play. His daughter had done it alone, unbelievably, exhibiting strength of character he'd always known she had. Before she'd always coupled it with a frustrating habit of avoiding responsibility. This time she'd had it forced upon her.  
  
And yet, and yet . . .  
  
The two men entered with resigned looks that were all too familiar. Now that King Gustav was returning to full duties, minus those facets of leadership that had been shifted from the monarchy to the legislature, Audrey seemed content to do no more than go out at night. It was as if she considered the last few months a bad dream, not to be remembered until the day her father left the throne for good.  
  
"She's gone?" Gustav asked curtly. He wasn't sure why they'd even come. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, after all. Perhaps this was her first chance to revel in her freedom from an arranged marriage.  
  
"The Princess is very, uh, creative," one of them mumbled.  
  
"She'll turn up in her bed in the morning, not to mention the society pages," Gustav sighed.  
  
The two men looked at each other.  
  
"What?" the king asked.  
  
The man on the right coughed into his fist. "Well, your highness, as you may know, we've cultivated relationships with certain of the more respectable photographers and . . . what's the word?"  
  
"Society mavens," the other one muttered.  
  
"Right, mavens. You see, they agree to let us know what clubs and parties she attends, the men and women she goes places with, etcetera. Sort of a public service, sir."  
  
"Plus we pay them," Gustav pointed out.  
  
They didn't reply.  
  
"Perhaps you haven't been on the detail long enough, but I was the one who initiated that policy," he explained. "You people generally just try to break the cameras when you see a reporter."  
  
There was a pause. "Probably," one admitted.  
  
He made a "come on" gesture. "So where is this going, gentlemen?" Gustav asked.  
  
"Well, lately, sir, they've been coming up dry," one of the men said.  
  
"Dry?"  
  
"They haven't seen her. She's not at any of her usual haunts, sir. She hasn't even been in the newspapers, if you hadn't noticed, sir."  
  
"I don't generally read those pages," Gustav said dryly. "I usually just have them handed to me." Although they hadn't been handed to him in some time, admittedly.  
  
"Also, your Majesty . . ."  
  
"One of you calls me 'sir', the other 'your Majesty'. Why don't you decide which title you're going to use, and stick to it?" he said testily.  
  
There was a silent communication between the two. "Well, sir, your daughter always viewed our presence as a nuisance, admittedly, but she also treated it as a game. Some nights she might try to catch us flat-footed by disappearing within a few moments. Other times she'll remain in sight for hours, then vanish."  
  
"Lately, however," the other man said, "she's been trying to get away from us as quickly as possible."  
  
"Like she has somewhere to be."  
  
"Like she doesn't have time to waste on us."  
  
Gustav weighed their words carefully. "Are you suggesting," he finally said, "that the princess is doing something she doesn't want you, or I, to know about?"  
  
"It's a possibility."  
  
"Or that she's doing something with someone," the other said gingerly.  
  
Gustav would not be surprised if his daughter had occasionally allowed flirting to move beyond the merely verbal in the past. He'd never heard any definitive proof that such an event had taken place, but that didn't mean anything. But if Audrey had a secret, something she didn't even want to risk getting out, and was getting to the point where she didn't want to be seen in public . . .  
  
"Thank you," Gustav finally said. "I will speak to my daughter in due time."  
  
"Of course, sir," they replied in unison as they rose.  
  
"By the way, King Gustav," the one on the right said. "Do you expect the princess to be going anywhere Christmas Day?"  
  
"I really have no idea," he said truthfully. "Why?"  
  
"Because it's Christmas Day," the other one reminded him.  
  
Gustav chuckled. "I'm sure those of you without families can make yourselves available if she does decide to ring in the new year a trifle early."  
  
They showed themselves out, leaving him to wonder what his daughter had gotten herself into.  
  
_______________________________  
  
"Everyone wishing for peace on Earth on Christmas," Audrey said softly, looking out the window, "should know how peaceful it seems above it."  
  
"It only sounds peaceful because there's no sound in a vacuum, Audrey," Diana said, smiling.  
  
Audrey turned and pouted. "Why aren't we floating? If you were going to take me out of the Earth's atmosphere - blindfolded, no less - you could at least let me float like the cosmonauts do."  
  
"Cosmonauts? You're betraying your Eastern European heritage, Princess."  
  
"You're not exactly from North Africa yourself, Diana," Audrey retorted wickedly.  
  
Diana chuckled. "This is what they call artificial gravity, in answer to your earlier question."  
  
Audrey made a face. "I'll have you know I never buy artificial," she told her.  
  
"Well," Diana replied in a whisper, leaning down, "if you simply must do things the natural way, and if you really do want to float . . . there are other ways, or so I'm told."  
  
Red blossomed in Audrey's cheeks, but the look on her face suggested it was more pleased flush than embarrassment.  
  
There had been heavy foreplay on more than one prior occasion, but as of yet, Diana and Audrey had not officially consummated their relationship. Originally there had been a desire to let things develop slowly. Later there had been a slight case of anxiety for both women. Now, however, both women felt drawn to each other very much, and Diana knew it would happen soon. Maybe even tonight.  
  
"Where are the others?" Audrey asked, temporarily changing the subject.  
  
Diana smiled and pulled back, but not before planting a swift kiss on Audrey's lips. "Celebrating Christmas," she said. "Which is why I took so long tonight. We obtained a second ship a few months ago after that incident where the sun was almost destroyed - "  
  
"It amazes me the way you can speak of it so casually," Audrey murmured.  
  
"We've all grown jaded. To certain things, anyway," Diana added, her eyes sparkling, and Audrey smiled happily. They resumed walking again. "Anyway, Batman is on monitor duty tonight, so he needed a ship to get here. And Green Lantern and Hawkgirl are off somewhere together with the other ship, so I had to wait for Batman to arrive before I could come get you. Which, by the way, is why I was late."  
  
"I wish you'd told me in advance you would be late," Audrey sighed. "It's getting so hard to elude my security detail these days. It's easier to catch them unawares after I've given them an hour or two to settle in, but with you, it seems that I am unable to wait so long." She took Diana's hand in hers.  
  
"Sorry," Diana said. Actually, she would have been a few minutes quicker, but when she attempted to board the ship after Batman arrived, he'd insisted on speaking to her in another part of the Watchtower on some inconsequential matter. Which wasn't like Mr. Get-to-the-Point. "We ought to think about obtaining some kind of matter transport device."  
  
"You mean like 'beaming'?" Audrey asked, surprised. "Does such a thing exist?"  
  
"After seeing boom tube technology," Diana replied, "I don't doubt it."  
  
"So where are we going? Official tour?"  
  
"Hardly," Diana said. "I want to get us alone, you know. But I happen to have a bottle of champagne chilling in the kitchen, and I want to bring it to my room."  
  
Audrey squeezed Diana's arm. "How romantic," she replied. "But how sad Batman is all alone here on Christmas. I understand that someone must be here always, but . . . he did not strike me as a very happy man when I met him last."  
  
"Batman doesn't really have family to celebrate the holiday with," Diana explained.  
  
"Perhaps we could keep him company for a few minutes?" Audrey suggested.  
  
Diana suspected monitor duty had as much to do with the avoidance of company as anything else, but she didn't say that. "Why not?" she instead said. "But first let's get my champagne."  
  
They arrived at the kitchen a minute later, and stared. Someone was rooting around in the freezer, and it wasn't wearing a black cape and cowl.  
  
What they saw was someone's shapely legs, remarkably nice derriere, and backside, all clad in tight purple.  
  
And Diana's champagne sitting on the table.  
  
"How," Diana finally said when she recovered from the surprise, "did _you_ get in here?"  
  
The sounds of the woman looking through the freezer - it was a big freezer, and J'onn had several flavors of ice cream inside, mainly mint chocolate chip - stopped. Then she slowly backed up and faced them. "Don't worry. I'm, er, off duty," Catwoman responded.  
  
Diana arched an eyebrow and carefully stepped forward. "Really? Because I'm told you're a thief by profession, and it appears you are stealing my champagne," she said, taking the bottle swiftly.  
  
"Sorry about that," Catwoman replied. "I was looking for this." She waggled the container of Haagen-Dazs. "And I couldn't really hear . . . boy, this is embarrassing."  
  
"It's going to get a lot worse, you know," Diana pointed out before she slammed the alarm button.  
  
"When I knew I should have brought my bullwhip, this wasn't what I had in mind," Catwoman said, setting the ice cream down and assuming a defensive posture.  
  
"Audrey, get out of here," Diana said evenly. "I don't want you getting hurt."  
  
Catwoman seemed to really look at Audrey for the first time. "Say, aren't you that Kasnian girl?" she asked.  
  
Audrey looked questioningly at Diana.  
  
"Go!"  
  
She disappeared into the hall.  
  
"I'm going to have to insist you forget you saw her tonight," Diana went on. "As well as a lot of other things you may have seen here tonight. How did you do it? Stowed away on one of our crafts?" She stopped. "What have you done with Batman?"  
  
"Nothing - yet," Catwoman purred. "You can take that any way you like."  
  
"And when I'm finished here, you'll be waking up in 2004," Diana replied. "Take _that_ any way you like."  
  
Catwoman looked carefully at the doorway behind Diana. Undoubtedly she was calculating whether she could somehow squeeze past or go over Wonder Woman.  
  
The alarms suddenly went off, and Diana felt his presence before she even noticed his shadow.  
  
"When they say 'good will toward men', I think they're referring to mankind in general, not men specifically," Batman said.  
  
"That had better not be the lead in to a 'catfight' pun," Catwoman warned him.  
  
"Are you all right?" Diana asked without taking her eyes off the burglar.  
  
"I was better," he said. "Until you arrived."  
  
"Until _I_ arrived?" Diana said, turning so she could look at either one of them. "What about her?"  
  
Batman glowered at her. "Selina is . . . my guest."  
  
Diana gaped. "Wait - when you dragged me away from the ship, you were giving her the chance to sneak out, weren't you?" Her amazement grew. "Great Hera, you didn't want monitor duty so you could be alone. You wanted to be alone with _her_." And she jabbed a finger at Catwoman.  
  
"I'm sensing disapproval," Catwoman said dryly.  
  
"I thought we already had this discussion," Batman pointed out.  
  
"Being involved with her is one thing," Diana responded. "Giving a career criminal free rein of the _Watchtower_ is something else entirely! Why don't you show her around the Batcave while you're at it?"  
  
Catwoman looked at Batman. "She's seen the Batcave?" she asked.  
  
"Easy, kitten. It was business," he replied. "And I trust Selina not to reveal the things I tell her."  
  
Had Batman just said "kitten"?  
  
"The way," he added, "you trust Audrey not to do the same."  
  
"I thought he didn't like me," Audrey said as she appeared from behind Batman.  
  
Batman glanced at her, then back at Diana. "I don't think that's a fair impression you've created," he suggested.  
  
"You did say you felt she wasn't good enough for me," Diana reminded him. Then she winced, remembering who was in the room with them.  
  
Catwoman blinked. "Oh, so the two of you . . ."  
  
Diana glared at her.  
  
"Hey, it's nothing to me," Catwoman told her, holding up a hand. "Actually, I think it's nice that someone can get past the stick wedged up your ass."  
  
"Selina," Batman said, exasperated, while Diana smoldered.  
  
"Don't worry, tiger. I always reserve the right to be a little catty," she said with an easy smile. "It kind of makes your League seem a little more, I don't know, human?"  
  
"I remember you," Audrey interrupted. "You stole a necklace from the royal collection a few years ago. It was considered priceless."  
  
"She'll return it," Diana said.  
  
"Uh, you do realize I sell what I steal?" Catwoman asked. "I don't steal things for the walls of my apartment. And trust me, nothing is priceless on the black market."  
  
"I realize that," Audrey replied. "We bought it back a year later."  
  
"Oh, right," Catwoman recalled. "Your government used to have quite the cozy relationship with the black market, didn't it?"  
  
"That's enough," Diana warned her.  
  
Catwoman picked her ice cream up again. "I was invited so we could spend Christmas together," she said simply. "If you're going to make me feel like the guest who crashed the party, I don't have to be polite either."  
  
  
  
Diana turned back to Batman. "Who was going to be on monitor duty?"  
  
He didn't seem abashed. "The headset in my cowl is patched in. I'll know something's up when it happens."  
  
"You didn't hear our ship docking."  
  
"I was using the bathroom," he muttered.  
  
"Perhaps there is a better way?" Audrey asked. "What if we kept watch? That way we each get half the night alone, and there are always two or more eyes on the monitors?"  
  
Batman and Diana considered this. "It's all right with me," Diana finally said.  
  
"I wasn't planning on abandoning the monitor chair for a while yet," Batman replied. "It's all right if you want to go first. Selina was just getting us some treats."  
  
Catwoman waggled the ice cream in her hand when Diana looked at her, and Diana finally realized what she should have noticed earlier - if a thief really had crept uninvited into the Watchtower, would her first stop be the refrigerator?  
  
"I'll relieve you around four then," Diana told him. "I trust you know what you're doing," she whispered, leaning close to his ear.  
  
"I showed her the man behind the mask," he said equally quietly.  
  
Diana was shocked. "All right," she said at last. "That's good enough for me." She held out a hand to Audrey. "Let's give them some space."  
  
"All that time alone," Audrey murmured in the hallway. "Whatever shall we do?"  
  
"Well, apparently I have something wedged in my rear," Diana said wryly. "Maybe you could relieve some of my discomfort."  
  
Audrey's eyes gleamed and she pressed closer to her.  
  
___________________________  
  
When they were alone, Batman sighed. "Stick wedged up her ass? That was a little much, Selina."  
  
"Hey, she got to see the Batcave before me," Catwoman replied unconcernedly. "I thought I was special."  
  
"You saw it before she did," Batman said. "And you are."  
  
Selina grinned naughtily. "And here I was hoping you were the only person I'd be showing my claws to tonight."  
  
To be continued . . . 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (13/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episodes "Wild Cards" and "Comfort and Joy".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Diana's heart raced as she approached the estate where the Kasnian royal family - all two members of it - had resided since the destruction of the castle. Usually they went various places together, but occasionally Audrey asked her to visit her in her rooms. By now it was an absurdly easy thing to avoid the security patrols.  
  
Her heart raced because this was the first time they would be alone in Audrey's bedroom since the Christmas they'd spent together. The Christmas where Diana given Audrey the most priceless gift she had - her virginity. It had been a hard thing to get out of bed later that night and assume monitor duty. She had preferred to remain entwined with Audrey and the sheets, but Audrey had actually encouraged her. She knew Audrey had been just as reluctant as she was, but Audrey also took Diana's duties with the League extremely seriously and would never consider the concept that she come before them.  
  
It was a concept Diana certainly hoped never to have to consider, because her heart would compel her to choose Audrey.  
  
As she quietly entered through the French doors on Audrey's balcony, however, the lights were dark and there was no sound. "Audrey?" she whispered after a moment. "Is this one of your games?" By Aphrodite, she hoped so!  
  
The voice that replied was not Audrey's elegant accented English, however. "Who are you, and what are you doing in my daughter's bedroom?" the voice asked sternly.  
  
Dismay ran through Diana's veins like ice water. Audrey's father! Diana knew Audrey had wanted to tell him about their relationship at a time and place of her choosing, and now she'd perhaps completely ruined that plan. Slowly she reached to her right and flipped the switch that she knew was there.  
  
King Gustav was sitting in a chair in the corner, and his eyes widened after a momentary adjustment to the sudden light. "Wonder Woman?" he asked, astonished. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Because of who she was, she felt compelled to tell him the truth. But since he evidently suspected little, Diana also felt she didn't have to tell him the _whole_ truth. "Hello, King Gustav," she said politely.  
  
"Gustav will do," he replied impatiently. "What is it? Is something wrong with my daughter?" he asked, now anxious.  
  
"She's fine, Gustav," Diana said. "You see, she and I are friends. We've been friends since the Savage incident."  
  
He looked at her curiously. "She never mentioned seeing you after the destruction of the palace."  
  
She sighed. "We agreed to keep it that way, Gustav."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"You have to understand that when you were poisoned and Savage was captured, Audrey was forced to rule Kasnia as regent by herself," Diana reminded him. "You were unavailable, and the army had chosen to follow Savage's orders over her own. She told me I was the only person she felt she could trust. So, over the following weeks, I tried to provide her with some guidance and advice."  
  
He considered this for a moment. "I see," he finally said. "You didn't want to make it seem like she couldn't rule on her own." Gustav seemed to grow more somber.  
  
"Yes," she said quickly, "but I don't want to create the impression that I was putting words in your daughter's mouth, Gustav. She may come off as shallow in the society pages, but Audrey is very intelligent, and I provided her with moral support more than anything else. She generally has very good judgment - although not with Savage, perhaps."  
  
"She should not be blamed for him," Gustav said. "After all, it was not like she chose him. Which, I might add, is a mistake I will not make again. Let Audrey marry who she chooses, if only it is a proper match."  
  
Diana was relieved internally. Gustav didn't seem to suspect anything else going on. "She's also a good friend, Gustav. Perhaps the closest one I have."  
  
His head rose. "Then maybe you can tell me something else, Wonder Woman. I spoke just now of proper matches. I came here tonight to talk to Audrey about her recent disappearances. Her bodyguards are of the opinion that she has been rushing off to some sort of secret rendezvous."  
  
Her relief dwindled.  
  
"I realize you cannot violate her confidences," he continued, "but can you tell me anything of where she is going? Is it a man? Is it worse, like drugs or some such thing?"  
  
"I can't say much, your Majesty," Diana replied cautiously, "but I can say with absolute certainty that she is in no danger from men, or drugs, or anything else. You don't have to worry about her. Besides, I'm sure she'll tell you herself sooner or later."  
  
He harumphed. "It is a hard thing, being a father to that girl."  
  
"She told me she would be here," Diana said, remembering why she'd come. "But she isn't. Where is she?"  
  
Gustav shrugged. "Who can say? You may have noticed my daughter can be a flighty young woman. She says she will be here, but she is there instead."  
  
"Diana?"  
  
Diana put two fingers to her ear as Hawkgirl's voice suddenly crackled on the communicator in her ear. "What is it?"  
  
"It's pretty serious," Hawkgirl said grimly.  
  
"Would you excuse me?" Diana asked Gustav. "I'm going to take this on the balcony."  
  
"Please," Gustav said, waving. "It gladdens me to see my daughter having someone of your character in her life."  
  
Diana almost laughed at his blissful ignorance as she nodded and went outside. "What's the problem?" she asked when she was outside.  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"At Audrey's. I just spoke to her father, actually."  
  
"Diana, I just received a transmission at the Watchtower," Hawkgirl said, "and I'm relaying it. It's for you, you see."  
  
Diana was puzzled until she heard the first words and gasped in shock.  
  
"Hello, Diana. I'm sure you never expected to hear my voice again."  
  
"Aresia," Diana whispered, putting her hand to her mouth. Surely she had died last year!  
  
"You thought I was dead, no doubt," Aresia's voice continued, eerily echoing her thoughts. "But I survived. Not only did I survive, but eventually I made it back to Themiscyra, where I took refuge, having avoided detection by your mother or the other Amazons."  
  
Diana waited, wondering what she was up to now. Last time she came very close to scouring the Earth of every last male human.  
  
"I'm back in man's world, though," Aresia said. "Not that it will be man's world for much longer. And I have someone with me."  
  
There was a pause, and then a subdued voice spoke. "Diana?"  
  
Diana's heart lurched in her chest and her knees buckled. "No, no," she said, her voice choking.  
  
"I have your fellow princess, Diana," Aresia said now. "I wasn't the only woman on Themiscyra who thought that men are a plague needing to be obliterated. I had friends there who protected me. And when Hippolyta spread the news that her daughter was in love with some fair-haired princess from Kasnia, I felt like I had to meet her. Now that I have, you will do exactly as I say, or I will break her body in two and she will wash up on the shores of Tartarus."  
  
Diana's earlier amazement at hearing Aresia's voice had by now become a horror that drained all life from her body, and she leaned on the railing of the balcony to stop from falling over.  
  
"I'm sending you coordinates of a barren little rock I've managed to turn into a paradise," Aresia said casually. "I expect you to be here by midnight, Kasnian time, since I know you and your would-be bride were going to spend the night together. She was very easy to gull, Diana. I told her I was from Themiscyra and that I had a message for you. Well, it wasn't a lie, really."  
  
"At any rate, you will come here, or she will die. If you are late, she will die. If you bring any men with you, the island's defenses will react. And she will die. Even that Martian of yours can't hide himself, just like he couldn't escape my plague last year. You may, if you wish, bring that Hawkgirl with you, though. My home is open to any women who are worthy."  
  
"And I am serious, Diana. If you try anything, you will live out the rest of your days as lonely as your mother has."  
  
There was a pause, and then Hawkgirl's voice returned. "Where can I meet you?"  
  
Diana had wanted to save Aresia once from her mad folly, but now the faux Amazon had crossed a line that she could never return from, and her body sprang to life with the raging hatred of the yellow Sun. Her mind, however, coolly and implacably calculated her next move. "We're stopping somewhere first," she said. "When Audrey is safe, I want to guarantee that Aresia _pays_."  
  
________________________________  
  
"Let me go through this again," Audrey said calmly. She was very calm for someone whose romantic evening had been interrupted by an abduction, and who now was tied up in a room with her kidnapper. "Because I'm trying to understand."  
  
"By all means," Aresia replied, making an inviting gesture as she sat near the door. "I have time yet."  
  
"You blame men for everything that's wrong with the world," Audrey said. She didn't bother to struggle. For one thing, she wasn't dressed for going out, and the ropes chafed her skin.  
  
"The world is what man created it to be," Aresia told her, "and it is a nightmare. Man needs to be stopped before he destroys our planet completely."  
  
Audrey smiled cheerfully. "Well, it's too bad you weren't around ten million years ago, or civilization would be so much better. Of course, you or I wouldn't exist . . ."  
  
"Men have their purpose," Aresia allowed. "For breeding."  
  
"So you created that virus last year that only affected men."  
  
"Men are the virus. What I released was an antidote. Society would be beginning its recovery by now if it wasn't for your girlfriend," Aresia pointed out.  
  
"Of course. Diana. In order to further your war against men," Audrey said, "you've kidnapped a woman and you're using her against another woman. Your logic is unshakable."  
  
"Your world's terrorists need to sacrifice a few innocents to save the majority," Aresia said.  
  
"Ah," Audrey realized. "I understand now. You're out of your mind."   
  
Aresia scowled at her. "You don't seem to be appropriately afraid of me right now."  
  
"You obviously want something from Diana," Audrey said. "If you kill me, you're not going to get it."  
  
"But if Diana won't bend that stiff neck of hers, you'll die anyway."  
  
"You've mentioned more than once how Diana defeated you the last time. So I don't have a lot of confidence in a failure such as yourself."  
  
Aresia narrowed her eyes. "You're a very arrogant young woman. I can see why Diana likes you."  
  
"And you are supremely deluded," Audrey responded. "I can see why Diana stopped you. That 'stiff neck' remark of yours was out of line, by the way. Are there any other issues between the two of you that I should know about? Did you resent her because she was the princess and you were just some outsider who could never be a true Amazon?"  
  
"I am truer to the Amazonian creed than Diana, or even Hippolyta!" Aresia said hotly. "They lack the courage of their convictions."  
  
"I can see why you compared yourself to a terrorist," Audrey observed. "You're an utter fanatic. I take back what I said earlier. It's too bad the male species wasn't erased forty years ago. That way you would never have been born, and the world would have been safe from someone like you."  
  
Aresia stood up. "You evidently don't understand anything. You're just a silly girl trying to be vile."  
  
"And you're a poseur, a pretender!" Audrey retorted. "You think you'll be a real Amazon if you defeat Diana? You're a monster, someone who consorts with murderers like those women waiting for you. You're an embarrassment to our gender, Aresia." She sneered at her. "At least Vandal Savage could be understood. He wanted power. You don't even know what you want."  
  
"I know what Diana wants," Aresia said coldly. "She wants you. And I have you." She turned and walked out, slamming the door.  
  
"What is this, some silly game of one-upsmanship?" Audrey shouted at the locked door, but there was no answer. Perhaps she hadn't heard.  
  
Audrey exhaled sadly and looked around. Without the deranged venting of Aresia to focus on, all she could think about was the precariousness of her position, as well as the pain Diana must be going through while she was a prisoner. "I'm on an island with a group of madwomen," she said to herself. "But I've always trusted you to be there for me, Diana. Be there for me one more time, please."  
  
__________________________  
  
"I do not understand," Raven said quietly as she sat on the bed. "Where are the rest of the Justice League?"  
  
"It's kind of an Amazon matter," Diana replied, sounding calm despite the turmoil of the fear and rage she felt inside. From the way Raven pulled back from her, she suspected her tone of voice didn't matter. The empath could probably tell how she felt. "If I involve any of the men, Audrey would be in even greater danger. So I've come to you."  
  
"I wouldn't wish any harm to your friend, Diana," Raven said, "but what do you want from me?"  
  
"You're a healer," Diana said. "The League referred you to this hospital, and the doctors tell me you've worked such wonders on broken bones, stabbings, even gunshot wounds in their emergency room. There could be a lot of fighting, and Audrey could get hurt. She could be hurt right now. I want you there to heal her if anything happens to her." Her tone of voice didn't quite convey the sense of urgency she felt, but she didn't doubt that Raven understood.  
  
"We need to leave as soon as possible," Hawkgirl said from behind Diana, "so I realize you're tired from the work you've performed today, but if you can hurry and come with us . . ."  
  
"You said there will be fighting?" Raven asked.  
  
"Yes," Diana said. "I promise you won't be in any danger if I can help it."  
  
"No, it's just Koriand'r should be here any moment to pick me up," Raven explained. "She can fight."  
  
Diana and Hawkgirl looked at each other doubtfully. "We can wait another five minutes, tops," Hawkgirl warned her.  
  
"What kind of fighter is she?" Diana asked.  
  
"I was trained by the Warlords of Okaaran on my home world."  
  
The two League members turned and saw Koriand'r's golden frame in the doorway. "Hello, Koriand'r," Diana said.  
  
"What's going on, Raven? Are you feeling all right?" Koriand'r asked worriedly.  
  
"Koriand'r, the woman Diana loves has been taken away, and she needs my help," Raven told her.  
  
Koriand'r looked outraged. "How cowardly!" she said, shocked. "I'll come with you, especially if you're bringing Raven."  
  
"I realize you have training and that you can fly," Diana said, "but the woman who kidnapped Audrey is very strong, and she probably isn't alone."  
  
"There are parts of the sad story that is my life which I didn't want to burden you with," Koriand'r replied, smiling strangely. "Trust me, I can take care of myself."  
  
"We have to go, Diana," Shayera reminded her. "Either they come or they don't, but we don't have time to talk."  
  
Diana shrugged helplessly. "Then we all go, I guess."  
  
____________________  
  
"Do you suppose this is new?" Hawkgirl asked.  
  
"This jungle could hardly be described as 'barren', whatever Aresia thinks of it, but if she could build something like that," Diana replied, "then she must have plenty of help."  
  
The four women were approaching what appeared to me a miniature version of her mother's palace on Themiscyra. What it lacked in size, it made up for in sparkle. It looked less than a month old.  
  
"Why do the trees part for us?" Koriand'r asked, eyeing the vegetation warily. "I wasn't aware the plants on Earth behaved in such a way."  
  
"Aresia mentioned defenses that would react to the approach of men," Hawkgirl said. "It stands to reason that the natural order here has been altered to admit women and bar men."  
  
"Aresia obviously doesn't have a problem altering nature to suit her needs," Diana muttered. Her palms itched - to hold Audrey, to crush Aresia.  
  
As they mounted the white marble steps, Diana paused. "That's odd."  
  
"What is?" Hawkgirl asked, hefting her mace.  
  
"These steps, they feel almost rough under my soles." She bent down and touched the smooth steps. "They are rough," she said, surprised. "It feels almost like rock."  
  
"An illusion," Raven said quietly.  
  
"I guess she didn't have time to erect the real thing," Shayera said.  
  
"As long as she gives me the real Audrey," Diana added angrily.  
  
They stopped as they crossed the threshold of the palace. Inside were white arches and columns, and floors that showed their reflections. At the other end of what was obviously a throne room was, in fact, a throne. And Aresia was perched on it lazily.  
  
Diana noticed none of this. She saw only the bound form of Audrey kneeling next to the throne. "Audrey!" she called out.  
  
Audrey raised her head, and the ensuing smile gave Diana new life.  
  
"Diana," Aresia said. "And you've brought new friends. How nice for you. If you don't do what I want, they'll be all you have left."  
  
"Let's skip the empty threats and posturing, Aresia," Diana growled. "Give her back."  
  
"I think it's rather appropriate that I took your girlfriend," Aresia told her. "After all, it's your fault that I'm here instead of Themiscyra."  
  
"_My_ fault?"  
  
"Well, technically," Aresia mused. "You see, I'd gained a dozen or so converts among the Amazons. Women who saw as I do that men are not to be hidden from. Rather, they are meant to be destroyed. And they understood that your mother lacked my ideological purity."  
  
"The only thing pure about you is the white clothing you wear," Hawkgirl told her.  
  
"That's your opinion. I thought it would be yours, Diana. Or rather, the other you. When I heard about your darker twin coming to Themiscyra, I thought she would be a likely ally. I even risked leaving my hiding place to talk to her directly."  
  
"I guess she wasn't buying," Diana said, folding her arms.  
  
Aresia sniffed. "Currying favor with the 'great Queen Hippolyta'," she said sardonically.  
  
"Or even she's not as insane as you," Audrey said quietly. Her words echoed across the hall.  
  
Aresia grabbed her by the neck with one hand. Diana almost flew at her, but Aresia held up a warning finger with her other hand. "I wouldn't do that, Diana. I can snap her neck too easily. Anyway, I was forced to flee the island, along with my friends."  
  
Apparently on cue, twelve women in Amazonian garb appeared below Aresia's throne on either side. Diana was dismayed to recognize most of them. They were all younger Amazons. The older ones remained loyal to their queen.  
  
"I did escape with one other bit of useful information," Aresia added. "Your mother had the highest praise for your new lover. I was surprised, I admit. You always did seem like the kind of girl who was too pure to stop being the virgin queen. But I knew she would bring you to me."  
  
"What do you want, Aresia?" Diana asked.  
  
"I have the beginnings of a new Amazonian kingdom here, Diana," she replied, gesturing to the women below her. "I have a new Themiscyra. You're right, these walls are illusory, but I will find men to be my slaves, and they will erect a true palace. And then I have other uses for them."  
  
"Procreation, perhaps?" Hawkgirl asked.  
  
Aresia smiled. Her eyes twinkled with amusement. "Actually, I've been exploring the wonders of artificial insemination. No, I was thinking of repopulating other areas."  
  
Another woman appeared behind her. Other than her beauty, her striking feature was her long purple hair.  
  
"Circe tells me you've never met," Aresia said, "but I'm sure you've heard of her."  
  
"I've heard of her," Diana replied grimly. "She uses magic to turn men into beasts."  
  
"Men are beasts," Circe said. "I just give them a new look. Although evidently someone failed to finish the job on her." She pointed to Hawkgirl, who glared back.  
  
"She's mine," Hawkgirl muttered under her breath, and Diana felt she was welcome to her.  
  
"I don't necessarily have to kill the men," Aresia explained. "At least not at first. Circe and I are so alike, and we know just the kinds of animals men would be good as - cows, pigs, chickens, that sort of thing." She grinned. "Some will be hunted for sport, but most will be for the table."  
  
All four women stared at her. "Athena has frowned on you," Diana said icily. "You've taken permanent leave of your senses."  
  
"Women have been victimized by men for too long," Aresia reminded her. "So too have the lower animals. And so too have plants."  
  
A very familiar redhead appeared on Aresia's other side. "No need for introductions," Poison Ivy said. "We've already met."  
  
That explained where she'd disappeared to, Diana thought. The three of them were perfect for each other.  
  
"I've offered Circe and Poison Ivy what they want most," Aresia said. "Power over all men."  
  
"We won't let you," Raven said calmly.  
  
"Oh, the new faces speak!" Aresia said, laughing. "It's not up to you, dark one. If Diana swears an unbreakable Amazonian oath, an oath on the River Styx and all the goddesses above, that she will join my crusade and follow my leadership, then I will release Audrey and allow them to be together. The rest of you can leave or stay, although I doubt you'd be trustworthy allies. If not, I'll kill Audrey right now."  
  
"Even if Diana would agree to such a thing, I would stop you myself," Hawkgirl swore.  
  
"I think we can handle the rest of you," Aresia sneered.  
  
Diana looked at Audrey. When she'd told her father earlier that night that Audrey wasn't in any danger from her secret encounters, she hadn't lied. But she hadn't been right either. She'd exposed Audrey to such dangers that she would never forgive herself.  
  
But she wouldn't let Audrey be endangered any more.  
  
She turned to look at Raven. "Remember what we said before we landed?" she asked quietly.  
  
Raven nodded. Then she disappeared.  
  
Before anyone could react, she had materialized right beside Audrey, gathered her into her arms, and vanished again.  
  
When she reappeared behind Diana, only a second had passed, but there was one major difference. Audrey was with her. "Save Audrey. Don't let anything hurt her," Raven said, repeating what Diana had told her.  
  
Aresia looked down, then back at them with shock and rage. "What?!"  
  
"Teleportation," Circe murmured. "Nice trick."  
  
Diana paid her no mind. She reached over and caressed Audrey's cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered.  
  
"Don't be," Audrey said. "And I love you."  
  
"I know," Diana answered. "But I'm still sorry." She turned and faced Aresia, loathing in her eyes. "You're the beast, Aresia, but this isn't for sport or sustenance. This is personal."  
  
Aresia swept a hand toward them. "Kill them all!"  
  
Koriand'r smiled. She hadn't said a word during this exchange, but now light coalesced around her fists. She pistoned her left arm out toward one group of charging Amazons, and a blast of energy scorched the ground before them, making them tumble and scatter.  
  
Diana and Hawkgirl looked at her, startled.  
  
"My body can absorb sunlight and channel it outward as beams of energy," Koriand'r said. "Like I said, a long story. But it was a very sunny day today."  
  
"Works for me," Hawkgirl replied. "As long as plenty are left for me."  
  
"I wouldn't worry," Diana said. "Raven?"  
  
"She will be safe with me."  
  
"Then let's tear this place down," Wonder Woman said.  
  
To be continued . . . 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (14/??)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episodes "Wild Cards" and "Comfort and Joy".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 14  
  
"You have no idea how disappointed I am to see you here, Ismene," Diana said as she grappled with one of Aresia's Amazons. They might as well belong to the renegade, having abandoned their home to follow her here. Having decided that this could replace the one Themiscyra. "And your sisters."  
  
"You defiled our home with the footsteps of men," Ismene grunted as she broke Diana's hold and rocked her chin with a punch. "And your mother called them heroes! At least she had the decency to throw you out, but she didn't go far enough, not by a long shot."  
  
Diana took the punch in stride. She was stronger than any of these Amazons, and because of their relative youth and inexperience, they lacked any real chance at defeating her one-on-one, unlike the Amazons such as Eurydice and Helena who had first taught Diana how to fight. At twelve-to-one, however, they could overwhelm her with sheer numbers. With Hawkgirl engaging Circe and Raven guarding Audrey, Diana had only Koriand'r to help her. Aresia seemed content to watch from her perch.  
  
Diana did have one other advantage, however. She could fly.  
  
Another of Koriand'r's blasts struck Ismene in the back even as Diana was planting her foot in the young Amazon's stomach. The two-sided attack left the woman gasping on the ground. Before one or more Amazons could take Ismene's place, Diana flew up to join Koriand'r briefly. "Thanks," she said.  
  
"Don't mention it," Koriand'r said lightly. "I'm trying to conserve my energy, however. It's nighttime, so even if I did have access to the open air, I couldn't replace the solar energy I'm expending anyway."  
  
"You did mention being trained by warlords," Diana reminded her.  
  
"True," Koriand'r agreed.  
  
Surprisingly, the air between them was parted by an arrow, and their attention was pulled back to the crowd of Amazons below them. Several had resurfaced with bows and arrows, and they began firing.  
  
Koriand'r burned two in midair into ash, but there were too many. "Guess we'll have to go back down and correct their behavior," Diana said with mock regret.  
  
"They don't seem to know how to treat royalty," Koriand'r replied, eyes gleaming.  
  
They parted in different directions and swiftly curved around and down, fists forward. They hit the group of Amazons from different angles and sent them diving to the ground. One who remained standing was deprived of her longbow by Diana, who boxed her ears with it before shattering it over her knee.  
  
Meanwhile, Circe and Hawkgirl were sizing each other up as they moved in a circular pattern. "You're sure I couldn't interest you in a body to go with those wings?" Circe sneered, waggling her fingers. "You'd look great as a buzzard."  
  
"I once read Odysseus pointed a sword at you, and you folded like a cheap accordion," Hawkgirl retorted.  
  
"I was libeled!" Circe screamed before firing a bolt of lightning at her.  
  
Hawkgirl deftly struck it with her mace, as if she were a tennis player hitting an ordinary ball with a forehand, and it was deflected into the wall, where it seemed to leave no scorch marks. "I've faced magicians before," she said calmly. "They no longer impress me. And your illusions lack credibility."  
  
Circe hardly seemed to blink, and suddenly Hawkgirl was surrounded by nine identical Circes. The air was filled with fireballs, and Hawkgirl witnessed an illusory one dissipate as it struck her chest before a very real one hit her in the back and knocked her several feet onto her face with a grunt.  
  
"Impressed yet, little bird?" Circe asked.  
  
"Hardly," Hawkgirl snarled before leaping to her feet and scattering the Circe closest to her into atoms.  
  
_________________  
  
Ismene was groaning as she got to her knees when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She tensed momentarily before grabbing the person's wrist.  
  
"Easily, Ismene," Aresia murmured in her ear.  
  
"Aresia!" Ismene gasped. "I'm sorry - "  
  
"Don't bother. Let the others handle Diana. Dispose of that frail-looking girl and recapture the Kasnian woman, and Diana will be at my mercy," Aresia ordered.  
  
Ismene nodded. "Of course, Aresia." She got to her feet and carefully skirted the rapidly disintegrating fight between Diana, Koriand'r, and the other Amazons.  
  
__________________  
  
Diana pulled her punch just enough so that she didn't shatter her opponent's jaw, but she knocked the Amazon several yards through the air with her uppercut, leaving her in a heap by the wall. Those Okaarans, she noted with approval, must have been both good warriors and teachers, for Koriand'r was combining strength, flight, and skill to her advantage.  
  
Then pain exploded in Diana's back in several sharp lines. She grabbed at her shoulder, and her hand came away with bloody streaks.  
  
"You need to be disciplined, Amazon bitch. And you need a lot more than having your knuckles rapped. You will learn to treat me with respect!"  
  
"Poison Ivy," Diana said, facing the redheaded temptress. Her arms were green and leafy from the elbows down, ending in overly large hands with wicked claws. One hand dripped red. "You've given yourself some modifications."  
  
"They're gloves, actually," Ivy said, smiling savagely. "Suitable both for dinner parties and tearing your heart out."  
  
"You have no idea how tired I've become of your antics, Ivy," Diana replied, and she meant it. Seeing her again made her feel more wearied than angry. "Those claws don't suit you. You're so self-destructive, you're going to tear yourself to pieces."  
  
"That's just the sort of attitude I was talking about," Ivy hissed. "You think you have some special right to analyze my life! You and the Bat, and with Aresia's help, he'll be dead soon enough." She slashed powerfully through the air with both claws and missed Diana's face by inches as the Amazon leapt backward.  
  
"Somebody needs to think for you," Diana said. "Come on, it's too noisy here. Let's talk elsewhere."  
  
Before Ivy could react, Diana flew not at her, but just to the right of her. Her hand grabbed Ivy by the shoulder and carried the shrieking woman up through the air onto a high ledge, where she dropped her.  
  
Audrey watched the two disappear. "The first time I saw Diana," she said quietly to Raven, "I saw her rip a helicopter in half. This has been much more impressive."  
  
"Are you seriously hurt?" Raven asked without looking at her. Most of the Amazons appeared to be incapacitated, and those who remained weren't faring well against Koriand'r. "I can heal you."  
  
"A few scrapes and bruises," Audrey replied casually. "I've suffered worse from my masseur."  
  
Raven didn't respond as she finally noticed Ismene stealthily creeping along the perimeter of the hall toward them. "Please back up," she said neutrally. "I will need room perhaps."  
  
Audrey followed her gaze. "Of course," she answered, backing up until the rough walls behind the marble illusion dug into her back.  
  
"Out of my way, child," Ismene said warningly as she approached.  
  
"Do not let my size belie my age," Raven murmured, lowering her hood. "My name is Raven, and Audrey is under my protection."  
  
"You're Raven?" Audrey asked behind her. "Diana told me about you."  
  
"She did?" Raven said, surprised. "What did she say?"  
  
"You look busy. I'll tell you later," Audrey said.  
  
"Better tell her now," Ismene interrupted. "You'll both be dead in a few minutes."  
  
Audrey shrugged. "She said you were sad, and that you seem like someone who walks under a permanent shadow."  
  
"She has no idea," Raven said quietly before a sort of pitch-black aura emanated from her body. Ismene was frozen in her tracks, and then she screamed before she was blotted from view.  
  
______________________________  
  
"Running?" Ivy asked as she scrambled onto her feet.  
  
"You're the one who's running," Diana said darkly, hovering just beyond the ledge. Ivy took another swipe at her, but Diana floated out of range, leaving Ivy dancing precariously on the edge. She was forced to skip back.  
  
"You're still running from that jail cell in Metropolis," Diana continued as Ivy tried to extend her arms far enough to hit her, but was left vainly waving her artificial hands in the air.  
  
"What do you _care_?" Ivy cried in sheer frustration, her body shaking with emotion. "Leave me here, or knock me out, but stop trying to analyze me!"  
  
"I ought to," Diana said, trying to keep an eye on the action below while she faced Ivy. "But I have so much to lose down there, and I'll take all the help I can get. Which I think you'll give me."  
  
Astonished, Ivy laughed helplessly. "Why?"  
  
"Because you're not doing this to kill Batman. Oh, I'm sure he's a bonus for you, but you're doing this to kill another man, namely the Joker. You think if somebody else does it for you, Quinn won't blame you for his death. It won't matter, though. You'll lose her anyway."  
  
Ivy looked in every direction. She appeared to be debating climbing higher, or leaping to certain doom.  
  
"First," Diana said relentlessly, "I'll survive today, and I'll make sure she knows what you're up to. Even if she never knows, it won't matter. Even though you laughed the day I used this term, when it comes down to it Harley is one more battered woman. And sooner or later the self-delusions and the lies die, and these women understand that their batterers don't love them. I think she can survive him. She seems to have learned how. And when she does, you could be there. Instead of running off like a spoiled baby that doesn't get its bottle."  
  
"You have no idea," Ivy replied. Her claws were squeezed into fists so tightly that they were shedding leaves. "I have watched her for _years_ defend him and go back to him and she doesn't listen! She's killing herself for that monster, and you know what? I used my biggest weapon on her, and it didn't leave a dent. She wants to pretend I never said it, and go on being friends! No, sorry, not in my power any longer."  
  
"So you'll kill him instead," Diana said. "And just as she's spent the last few years fixating on the Joker, she'll spend the rest of her life fixated on his memory. You know what she'll be doing twenty years from now? She'll be lighting candles at his goddamn shrine, and I can't conceive of any greater injustice being done to her than what you're planning to do. You're going to take him away from her, leave her mourning their so-called great love and their magical life together. You're going to condemn her to a life of being haunted by the vision of the man she sees him as, not the demon he really is."  
  
Ivy looked at her blankly for a moment, and Diana saw that she'd really never considered this possibility. Like so many of her fellow villains, she was almost fatally unable to think of the consequences of her actions. Then she fell to her knees hopelessly. "But what do I have to lose?" she asked.  
  
Diana resisted the urge to beat her senseless and get back to the fighting, knowing Aresia would step in to shift the balance any moment. "You walked out on her, Ivy, not the other way around," she instead said coolly. "She left the window open. Be her friend. Be there for her until the scales fall from her eyes. Maybe they already are."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You saw what the Joker tried in Las Vegas?"  
  
Ivy nodded. "I wasn't watching at the time, but I heard all about it." She became sulky. "She was with _him_."  
  
"And she led Batman to the Joker's lair."  
  
"She's good at that. She doesn't think."  
  
"She led him there on purpose."  
  
Diana wasn't technically lying here. She knew Batman had followed Quinn back to the Joker, but he hadn't said whether it was intentional or not. So it was possible.  
  
"She's betrayed him before," Ivy said hesitantly.  
  
"Don't you think that's a good sign?" Diana asked.  
  
Ivy didn't respond.  
  
"Look," Diana said, losing patience. Poison Ivy, for all her botanical powers, was the smallest threat in Aresia's little army, and the time Diana was spending on her probably wasn't worth it. "Aresia said this island used to be barren. So you made the jungle grow, right? If you can make Aresia's very own domain turn against her and her forces, I'll guarantee that you're returned to Arkham where Harley is, and she'll never know what you were planning. Otherwise you'll wake up here tomorrow morning with a very big lump on your head, and you can hide here for the rest of your life. And you have three seconds to make your decision."  
  
For two seconds, the look on Ivy's face was something like a deer caught in headlights. Then she slumped over. "All right," she said softly.  
  
"Come on then," Diana said, relieved. "Let me know what you need to do, and . . ."  
  
A trace of her old contempt returned to Ivy's face. "Are you that dense? It's already started."  
  
Diana looked at her dubiously, but she forcibly removed Ivy's prosthetic appendages and tore them apart before picking her up under the arms and descending through the air.  
  
______________________________  
  
Hawkgirl looked to her left and right. Most of Circe's doubles had vanished, and her failure to create more suggested to the Thanagarian that she didn't have the energy to waste on them. Circe also had a massive purple bruise on her right forearm from a glancing blow of Hawkgirl's mace, but the arm was still functioning and the illusory Circe (whichever one it was) had a matching bruise. She might as well flip a coin to determine which of the two was real.  
  
Circe's left hand glowed with a green fire that looked almost radioactive. "I wonder if you smell like pheasant when you're cooked," she snarled.  
  
Hawkgirl only smiled and gestured. Her mace crackled.  
  
The immortal witch aimed low with her flame attack. Any higher and the real blast would have obliterated the false image. Hawkgirl had anticipated this, however, and she leapt in the air, using her powerful wings to give her extra height. She spun and landed behind one of the two Circes so quickly that she didn't even have time to turn and look.  
  
And because of where the two witches were standing, the other's view of Hawkgirl was blocked by the first one.  
  
Hawkgirl hurled her mace straight at the Circe closest to her, knowing it wouldn't matter. It parted her form like mist, and the flesh-and-blood Circe had only a fraction of a second to see the mace coming into view and plunging into her midsection. All of the air rushed out of her lungs and she screamed soundlessly as the electricity poured into her body. She collapsed, almost cradling the mace as she passed out.  
  
Going over to her, Hawkgirl reached down and retrieved her weapon. "Looks like it's your goose that was cooked," she murmured.  
  
Then she cried out and fell down when she felt a powerful blow strike her on the back of the head.  
  
"Plenty of goose for everyone," Aresia said with a smirk before going to take care of the remaining heroes.  
  
Raven and Koriand'r were shoulder to shoulder, protecting Audrey with the wall at their backs. Five Amazons were still able to fight, and they approached with some degree of caution. Not only were they wounded and wary of the Tamaranean's fighting skills, but also they were unnerved by the sight of Ismene and a second Amazon on their knees. They stared straight ahead with no expression on their faces.   
  
"What did you do to them?" Koriand'r asked.  
  
"I introduced them to my shadow self," Raven said quietly. "They got as close to my father as one can without going completely insane."  
  
Koriand'r poked one of them in the shoulder, and she fell over, making the Amazons hesitate further.  
  
"Perhaps even a little closer than that," Raven admitted.  
  
"Just how close is your father to you, Raven?" Koriand'r asked quietly.  
  
Raven said nothing at first. Before Koriand'r could press her, everyone stopped as the marble floors and columns flickered, then died. Suddenly they were standing inside an ordinary, if spacious, cave that had formed naturally. "The witch is defeated," Raven said, avoiding Koriand'r's question.  
  
"So is the bird," someone said from behind the Amazons.  
  
They parted to let Aresia through. "As for Diana," she continued, "it appears she's abandoned you, Princess."  
  
"Which princess are you referring to?" Koriand'r asked calmly.  
  
"I trust you're not suggesting you're more than friends with Diana," Audrey said easily.  
  
"You're right, she probably means you."  
  
"Enough," Aresia warned them. "I don't know who you two are, but you're evidently powerful. I could offer you a position of honor at my side."  
  
"You know nothing of honor," Audrey said.  
  
"She knows nothing of a lot of things."  
  
Aresia turned and saw Diana standing alone in the middle of the cave. "I know men must be removed like a tumor," Aresia said to her. "You are a part of the cancer if you stand against me."  
  
"This place of yours is the tumor, Aresia," Diana replied. "I'm just glad you removed it from Themiscyra yourself, along with all of the Amazons you'd corrupted. It will make things much easier for my mother."  
  
The whole cave shook with the force of something hitting it from the outside. Dust sprinkled down on the women. "What was that?" Aresia demanded.  
  
Another voice spoke up from the shadows of the cave, no longer hidden by Circe's false light. "Chemotherapy."  
  
Aresia whipped about, shocked. "Ivy? What are you talking about?"  
  
One of the other Amazons ran toward the cave entrance. "Aresia!" she shouted. "The trees, the forest! It's come alive, and it's attacking the walls!"  
  
"You weak, stupid thing!" Aresia shouted. "You said you wanted to rid the world of men!"  
  
"I've reordered my priorities," Ivy said quietly.  
  
Aresia shook her fist, and then she looked down and smiled. "I guess we'll just have to kill you all then."  
  
The Amazons rushed in a group at Raven and Koriand'r, and Audrey beyond them.  
  
Alarmed, Diana flew after them, and she didn't even notice Aresia moving not with them, but through them. She nimbly danced around the onrushing women and ran, not toward Diana, but toward Poison Ivy.  
  
"You're an embarrassment to our gender!" she shouted at the largely defenseless Ivy. Her fist sent her flying, and she hit the wall headfirst, sliding to the floor in a boneless heap.  
  
Diana didn't even see it, so focused she was on sending the weakened Amazons in various directions, but Raven did. "Diana!" she called, pointing at Aresia.  
  
The Amazon princess' eyes blazed as she saw Aresia standing alone. "Stay down," she said coldly to the Amazon in her grip as she smashed the young woman's face into the ground. Then she flew at Aresia, knocking her into the wall. Whether it shook or not with the impact wasn't known, because whatever Ivy had done, the cave shook every second from outside forces.  
  
Raven couldn't help but respond to the suffering of the woman Aresia had struck down. "Guard her," she said to Koriand'r.  
  
Koriand'r looked around and saw Aresia was the only opponent left standing. "From what?"  
  
But Raven was already teleporting to Poison Ivy's side. She looked dismayed as she reached down and put her hands on Ivy's head.  
  
The healer's screams were drowned out by the sound of Diana and Aresia pummeling each other without mercy.  
  
"You've lost, Aresia," Diana growled, her face red with fury. "Both your insane dreams and your desire to hurt me have failed."  
  
"Not while I stand," Aresia retorted, kicking Diana in the ribs.  
  
Diana caught the follow-up kick in her hands and flipped Aresia to the floor. "Your 'palace' won't even be standing for much longer, Aresia! And none of your followers are in any kind of shape to leave here on their own power. Do you want to go on fighting me, or do you want to save them?"  
  
"I want to rub that holier-than-thou expression off your face!" Aresia shrieked before tackling her.  
  
Koriand'r watched the fight with dismay. "Diana's right," she realized. "There's over a dozen people passed out on the floor. We need to call off whatever it is outside, or the entire structure will cave in on these people." She held her hands out to Audrey. "Come on."  
  
Audrey quickly leapt into Koriand'r's arms and the Tamaranean flew them both around the fighting Amazons. "Raven," she called to the healer, who appeared to be recuperating next to Poison Ivy's body.  
  
Raven looked up. "She suffered massive skull fractures, but she will live," she said slowly, panting. "Another thirty seconds and she would have died, but I was able to repair the damage. But the pain was intense, Koriand'r. I do not think I have the concentration left to do much else tonight."  
  
"I think she's the one who started this," Koriand'r told her, gesturing around at the trembling walls. "She needs to stop it."  
  
Raven shook her head, however. "She is unconscious. I suspect it will be some time before she awakens."  
  
Koriand'r groaned. "We have no choice. Let's start bringing these women outside." She stopped. "Where's Hawkgirl?"  
  
"There," Audrey said exultantly, pointing.  
  
The two Amazons kept gaining, then losing, the advantage in their battle. Falling rocks were becoming as much a danger as anything else. "Oof!" Diana grunted as one struck her on the shoulder, driving her to one knee.  
  
"You were willing to die for that frail creature," Aresia said even as she wrapped her hands around Diana's neck and began throttling her. "Willing to die for billions of male monsters. Now I want you to die for me!"  
  
Diana couldn't respond, because she couldn't breathe.  
  
Hawkgirl could, however, and the head of her mace landed heavily on Aresia's skull. The eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell over, her hands dropping from Diana's neck. "See how you like getting hit from behind," Hawkgirl said, rubbing her head.  
  
"Thanks," Diana said, coughing. She rose and looked around. "You think we could move all these people out of here before the ceiling collapses?"  
  
"Do we have a choice?"  
  
A section of the roof chose that moment to succumb to the pressure from outside. Several feet across, it cracked and fell straight down.  
  
Diana looked up. "Oh, Hera," she whispered as the great rock swelled above her.  
  
There was a smashing noise, and the three women were momentarily obscured from view by clouds of dust.  
  
When the dust settled, Diana was surprised to discover that they hadn't been flattened. They'd been protected by a transparent dome with a green tint.  
  
Hawkgirl pointed. "John!"  
  
Green Lantern modified the shield he'd generated around Diana, Hawkgirl, and Aresia so that the three were carried aloft. "You can't run away from me that easily, Shayera," he said, smiling.  
  
Diana caught a red streak and watched as Flash and Superman began disappearing from the cave with women in their arms, then returning for new loads. "How did you know?"  
  
"We got Hawkgirl's message a few minutes ago," he said.  
  
Hawkgirl blinked. "Wow," she replied wryly. "Time really does fly when you're having fun."  
  
"I saw how you celebrate Christmas, so from the look of you, don't _tell_ me you haven't been having fun," GL said.  
  
"That's the last of them," Superman told Green Lantern as he used his heat vision to destroy a rock that had been a few feet away from landing on the Flash. "I assume you've got a good explanation for not telling us about this sooner?" he added, looking at Hawkgirl.  
  
"Girls' night out," Diana said, finally permitting herself to feel relief that Audrey was going to be all right.  
  
"Well, from the outside this place looks like it's got a really bad case of honeysuckle," Superman replied after a moment's pause, "so I suggest we leave now."  
  
As they escaped the cave without further mishap, Diana looked back and saw that much of the island's vegetation appeared to have shifted position. While the earth itself looked almost barren, the mountain (or what they'd seen as a castle when they first arrived) was now covered with a dense layer of green and brown. Diana watched as the rock continued to buckle under the mutating plants, and she revised her earlier opinion regarding the relative danger of Poison Ivy.  
  
Diana looked down at Aresia and smiled.  
  
"What?" Hawkgirl asked.  
  
"I can't wait to tell her she was saved by a man."  
  
To be concluded . . . 


	15. Final Chapter

Title: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride (15/15)  
  
Author: Allaine  
  
Email: eac2nd@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bruce Timm, the JLA animated series, etc, etc. No profit intended from my infringement.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to the episodes "Wild Cards" and "Comfort and Joy".  
  
Feedback: Please, please, please!!  
  
Summary: Inspired by vibes I was getting from "Maid of Honor". An Amazonian princess gets to know one of her normal human counterparts and finds they have more in common than just royal blood.  
  
___________________________________  
  
Chapter 15  
  
"Since meeting you, I've seen my family's castle explode, and I've been abducted by an extremely disturbed woman," Audrey said lightly as Diana carried her through the air. "You have a very interesting way of showing a woman a good time, Diana."  
  
Diana felt her heart twist as Audrey said this. "I hope you won't think all Amazons are like what you saw tonight," she replied.  
  
"I only care about one Amazon," Audrey told her, "and you are nothing like those others on the island."  
  
"Those others" would be a handful for another day or so. It would take time to find a way to transport Aresia and the other Amazons back to Themiscyra. It had never really entered her mind that they be taken anywhere else. The younger Amazons, given enough time with the older warriors who understood more than they, would hopefully learn their lesson. Aresia - well, it wasn't safe for her to be around men, especially for the men. She'd become almost hysterical when she learned the men of the Justice League had once again "corrupted her paradise", and Green Lantern's act of saving her had been rewarded with such vitriol that Shayera had eventually hit her to shut her up.  
  
Circe, meanwhile, would be remanded to the authorities of Man's World. Batman had offered to shuttle Poison Ivy back to Arkham Asylum in Gotham. While Raven had healed her physical injuries, the original trauma her brain had suffered had been such that she remained in a coma, and Raven could not offer any idea as to when or if Ivy would wake up. Diana momentarily considered the lunatic who had unexpectedly developed honest, maybe even healthy emotion for another human being, and the hopelessness of her position. Perhaps unconsciousness was best for her.  
  
Diana wished she could be unconscious too. Dead to the world was better than what she was about to do . . .  
  
"You're so quiet, Diana," Audrey chided her. "Look at it this way. You will get to see your mother again when you return those women."  
  
"That will be good," Diana agreed. She would need her mother.  
  
"Diana?" Audrey asked, slowly becoming aware that she was behaving unusually strangely.  
  
Diana looked at her. "Let's land down there," she said, pointing to a patch of forest.  
  
"Diana, I do not understand," Audrey said as they descended. "My home - my _bedroom_ is but a few minutes away."  
  
"Your father might be there," Diana told her.  
  
Audrey blinked as Diana's feet touched the ground. She allowed the Amazon to set her down. "Why?" she asked.  
  
"He was waiting in your room when I arrived earlier tonight," Diana said. "I didn't see him at first."  
  
The Kasnian woman froze. "He doesn't know, does he?"  
  
"He knows you've been disappearing one too many nights without regard for your security detail," Diana replied. "He's worried about you. But he didn't know about us, no."  
  
"Does he now?"  
  
"No. I had to tell him we were friends, and about the help I gave you when you were ruling Kasnia on your own, but I was able to avoid sharing that bit of information. He's your father," Diana said, "and it's your right to decide when to tell him."  
  
Audrey nodded. "All right," she responded. "Perhaps I should be dropped off on another part of the grounds."  
  
Diana didn't react to this suggestion. "I don't think you need to worry about that, though."  
  
"Why?" Audrey asked.  
  
"Because . . ." Diana choked on the words like they were a hard piece of dough that was stuck in her throat. Her eyes welled up. "I don't think we should be seeing each other any more."  
  
Audrey's eyes seemed to grow impossibly round. Or perhaps the tears were blurring Diana's vision. "What?" Audrey said, her voice trembling.  
  
"Tonight was too close," Diana said. "If it had been just Hawkgirl myself, I don't know what I would have done. Maybe I even would have given Aresia what she wanted, I can't say. But I can't allow you to be placed in that kind of danger again."  
  
"Is that it?" Audrey asked, a terribly hurt expression on her face as she pulled away. "Am I too great an Achilles heel for Wonder Woman of the Justice League?"  
  
"No!" Diana blurted out, stunned by the accusation. "Do you think this is about me? Audrey, I would resign from the Justice League today for you, if I thought it would . . . "  
  
"Then do it!" Audrey retorted. "I'm weak and I'm selfish and you're needed by millions and I don't care! I can't lose you, Diana. Don't you understand that I love you?"  
  
Diana flinched. "I - I think I love you too, Audrey."  
  
"Then why are you doing this to us?!"  
  
"First, before you interrupted me, I was going to say, if I thought it would do any good," Diana said softly. "But it wouldn't, not even if I took my tiara off and never flew another mission. Because there are a thousand people out there who would love to see me hurt, or dead, or worse, and Aresia's just one of them. Any one of them could decide that the best way to accomplish that is to take you from me."  
  
"So you're just going to take yourself away from me," Audrey responded, cheeks stained with tears. "You can't break my heart, Diana. Do you think I care about what happens to me?!"  
  
"I care," Diana said. "And the pain this is causing me right now is nowhere near as bad as the pain I would feel if you died because you loved me." She turned away. "I have to end this now before the world finds out about us."  
  
"You knew all this before!" Audrey screamed at her. "You knew this might happen. We both did! Why is it a problem now?"  
  
"Because tonight we were confronted with the reality, not just the possibility," Diana replied. "And I could never live with myself if something like what Aresia had planned for you happened to you."  
  
She felt Audrey touch her shoulder from behind, and Diana's heart seemed to swell and crack at the same time. "Diana," she whispered. "You were the one constant thing in my life. You became my compass, the sun which my planet orbited. If you leave now, I'll never be able to trust anything again. Is that the life you want to give me by ending what we have?"  
  
Diana reached up and took Audrey's hand. Squeezing it, she then pushed it away. She couldn't see how Audrey looked as if she'd been slapped. "I want you to live," she said. "If you're dead, I'm the one who will have to go on living."  
  
Her head fell, and she didn't bother to move the black strands that hid her face. Diana couldn't bear to look at her. "You can make your way home from here," she said brokenly. "And some day you'll find another love, someone who can keep you safe."  
  
"No one will keep me safe the way you always have, Diana," Audrey begged.  
  
Diana shook her head. "No one will put you in greater danger, either." Then she stepped forward and flew away. Her tears spattered the leaves of the trees as she rushed away as fast as possible for her.  
  
Below, Audrey watched for a shocked moment, unable to believe it was actually happening. Then her legs became like water, and she collapsed on the ground. Her heartbroken wail burst from her lips, and the sound lashed Diana worse than any laser.  
  
________________________________  
  
It had taken more time than expected for Poison Ivy to be completely stabilized, and Arkham Asylum had to be prepped and ready for the arrival of a comatose woman by air. The stretcher bearing her pale, unconscious frame through the front gates coincided with breakfast time for the inmates.  
  
As the orderlies prepared to wheel Ivy toward the infirmary, the Dark Knight who had shadowed their work despite the sunlight overhead stopped them. "Take her by way of the cafeteria," he said.  
  
"It's twice the distance," one of her doctors pointed out.  
  
Batman glowered at him, and he quailed. "I don't think she's in any rush," he answered.  
  
As they passed the windows of the cafeteria, Batman stopped them yet again. "One minute," he growled. Then he pushed the doors open and entered.  
  
The inmates turned their heads with one motion and were surprised to see the figure of their nightmares. It was a rare day when Batman came out before sunset. Even with the sunlight streaming through the barred windows, he seemed to cast a pall as he walked between the tables. It was he who was out of his normal environment, but the various lunatics, bereft of their costumes and schemes, were the ones who shrank away.  
  
"Quinn," he murmured as he stood behind her.  
  
Harley looked over her shoulder. "Hey, Bats," she mumbled. She pressed closer to the pasty-faced psychopath sitting next to her, but he appeared to be in no mood to support her. The Joker just continued eating.  
  
"Come with me."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere - hey!!"  
  
Rather than listen to her petulant refusals, Batman simply grabbed her by the forearm and hauled her out of her seat. She glared daggers at him as she was forced to walk with him.  
  
Her anger vanished, however, when she saw the woman on the gurney. "Red!" she said, horrified. Harley bent over Ivy's prone form. "What did you do to her?!" she accused Batman.  
  
By now most of the other "patients" lined the windows, and they too could see Ivy lying there.  
  
"Someone else did this to her, Quinn," he replied calmly. "She's in a coma, and the doctors have no idea if and when she'll ever wake up."  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" she asked tearfully.  
  
"Because I thought you should know. She got mixed up in something because of you, and she's in this condition because of you."  
  
Harley stared at him, grief-stricken. "Me?" she said, putting a hand on her chest.  
  
"She seems to lose what judgment she has when it comes to you," Batman told her quietly. "The least you could do is be there when she wakes up." He glanced at the doctors. "You'd better take her now."  
  
She watched the stretcher take her friend away and moved to follow them, but an orderly stopped her. "You've got to finish your breakfast, Harley," he warned her.  
  
Totally frazzled, she stumbled back into the cafeteria while Batman watched. Her fellow inmates watched her too.  
  
Naturally, the Joker never could allow the silence to continue. "Don't worry, Harl," he said. "Give her a little sunlight and water, and she'll open right up. A-HAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Harley stopped and swiveled to look at him. Her gaze was so smoldering that the tears practically turned to steam.  
  
"Heh," he added nervously.  
  
It was widely considered that while Harley Quinn could be a major annoyance, it would be worth it for most men to have that perky body waiting for them in their bed at the end of the day, no matter how much she was smacked around. For that reason, the Joker was felt to be an unfairly lucky man.  
  
It was also common knowledge that while Harley would forgive her "puddin" almost anything, she could erupt over the most surprising things, and these moments of rage were one of the few things that could frighten the Joker. For that reason, he was also felt to be completely deserving of her.  
  
This was one of those moments.  
  
Harley stomped over to her table, picked up her hospital food, and marched over to where the Joker stood. "You know what, puddin'?" she snarled at him. "Remember how Bats found your little hideout in Las Vegas because of me? Well it wasn't by accident like you thought. I led him there on purpose, because sometimes you can be a real jerk!"  
  
Then she dumped the contents of her plate over his head. "I'm done!" she called over her shoulder before pushing the empty plate into the Joker's arms.  
  
The orderlies watching were too experienced to show smiles at the Joker's discomfiture, but their eyes sparkled. "Go on, then," one of them told her, pointing his thumb in the direction of the door.  
  
She skipped past them and ran down the hall in the direction of the infirmary.  
  
Batman had watched it all, and his presence had been completely forgotten. He also could have smiled, but it would have clashed with his reputation. Instead he turned and vanished.  
  
The Joker grumbled as he knocked half-cooked eggs from his hair. "Her time of the month," he said to anyone near enough to listen.  
  
_________________________  
  
Diana sat and looked out the Watchtower windows. She stared at the blue orb they orbited, her mind blank.  
  
Then she heard footsteps behind her. "Not now, Shayera," she said without looking.  
  
"You obviously haven't picked up any of J'onn's telepathic abilities, have you?"  
  
Surprised, Diana turned her head and looked up. "Hello, Kal-El," she said quietly. "I said I was sorry."  
  
Superman sat next to her and didn't say anything for a moment. "Do you think if you stare at the European landmass long enough, you'll be able to see her?" he asked gently.  
  
Diana looked down. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said.  
  
"It used to be you spent all your free time with Audrey," Superman explained. "And now you spend all your free time sitting at whatever window happens to have the best view of Kasnia."  
  
She looked back at him. "Was I that obvious?" she asked.  
  
"Well, it did take a few days for us to notice the pattern," he said.   
  
Diana nodded. "We broke up right after the Aresia incident."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us?" Superman said after a moment. "It's been almost two weeks."  
  
She shook her head. "I don't know. More than one reason, I guess."  
  
"Mind sharing those? You're lucky you got me. Hawkgirl knew before the rest of us, and she's in a mood to shake the sense back into you."  
  
"That," she said heavily, "is one reason. Maybe two."  
  
"Fear of tempestuous Thanagarians?"  
  
"I was warned," Diana replied. "I was reminded of the risks involved in becoming romantically involved with a regular person. And I blithely assumed that I was different, that I could protect her, that the almighty Amazon princess could do whatever she wished. Reality has been humbling."  
  
Superman sighed. "Pride is something we all have trouble with, Diana."  
  
"But for me," she said, "my reasons were both pride and shame."  
  
"Shame?"  
  
"I've been watching other people and their romantic entanglements for weeks now," she explained. "While I was blissfully happy with Audrey, everything seemed so simple. Whether it was Hawkgirl wrestling with her secret feelings for John, or Poison Ivy's utterly inadequate attempts to woo that poor, deluded Harley Quinn, or Batman courting danger by inviting Catwoman to the Watchtower for Christm . . ." She stopped. "Um, you knew about that, right?"  
  
Superman chuckled. "He thought at least one of us should know in advance."  
  
She was briefly relieved that she hadn't carelessly revealed a fellow League member's secret. Especially Batman, who she should have listened to more. "Now I look back on how arrogantly I believed that I had all the answers to love and the hearts of others, and I feel like such a hypocrite. Even if I didn't speak my mind to Shayera or GL or Batman - " She'd spoken her mind, and more, to Ivy and Quinn, but that didn't count. "I could remember thinking it. I felt I deserved my mortification. I'm not that horribly sanctimonious, am I?" she asked.  
  
"Honestly?" he asked.  
  
Diana nodded.  
  
"There are times when you come off a bit self-righteous," Superman told her carefully. "We know you do it with good intentions, however, and we just chalk it up to the whole 'princess' thing."  
  
She blinked. "I suppose," she admitted.  
  
"But Diana," he continued, "you've got to do something about this."  
  
"About what? Not sharing?"  
  
"No, about what the breakup is doing to you," he responded. "Both you as a member of the Justice League, and you as a person. You certainly haven't seemed distracted lately. If anything, you've become too intense. You're fighting to inflict the maximum amount of pain possible, and while we've all taken out our anger on criminals, it's putting you in harm's way. Not to mention there have been a couple times where you appeared to be two punches away from killing someone."  
  
She frowned and crossed her arms. "We never pull our punches, Kal-El."  
  
"Especially now, right? Because if it wasn't for these people, you wouldn't have felt the need to break up with her?" He leaned forward so he could look into her eyes. "If this keeps up, Diana, we're going to have to ask you to take a vacation from your JL duties until you've worked out your feelings."  
  
Diana gasped. "You can't do that! It's all I have right now!"  
  
He shook his head. "That's what I meant when I said how this was affecting you as a person, Diana. We're your friends. We don't like seeing you in this kind of pain. It's as bad as the first few days after you were banished from your homeland. You were so much happier a month ago."  
  
"I can't protect her all the time, Superman," she said softly. "And if someone killed her, they'd be murdering me too."  
  
Superman scratched the back of his neck. "What is Superman's worst kept secret?" he asked.  
  
Diana stared at him. "Other than the weakness to kryptonite?" she said, trying to be humorous. Then she sighed. "Your relationship to Lois Lane."  
  
"No offense, Diana, but I have even more enemies than you. So why are she and I still together?"  
  
"Because breaking up with her now would be like closing the barn door after the animals have escaped," she pointed out.  
  
He looked at her oddly. "Have you been spending time in Kansas that we don't know about?"  
  
"I don't call upon my deities every time I need a turn of phrase, you know," Diana groused.  
  
"Well, granted that our connection is publicized to an extent your relationship isn't," he said, "there are other, better reasons. My personal happiness makes me a better hero, Diana. Knowing I make Lois feel that way, that makes me feel like a better man. Being with her seems to wash away all the grime and filth that I encounter. And frankly, you and I are in a much more dangerous profession than Lois or Audrey. If one of is going to die, it's going to be you or me. I already did, in fact."  
  
"Not really," she reminded him.  
  
"She thought I did," he replied. "She could have decided that she wasn't going to face losing me a second time, and she didn't." He took her hand. "And Diana, you're not the only one protecting her."  
  
She looked up.  
  
"You're in love," Superman said. "That makes Audrey as much a part of our family as Lois, or my parents, or anyone else a League member is close to. If anyone tries something with Audrey, they don't have just you to answer to. They've got all seven of us. If that doesn't make her safe, nothing will."  
  
Diana took her hand from his and wiped at the tears that had started flowing. "I don't know how I can go on another day," she wept. "My life is no different than it was before I met her, and yet it seems so much emptier. I can't sleep. I just lie in bed, wearing the clothes she gave me, and I try to imagine her next to me. Does she feel the same way?"  
  
"Has she said she loves you?"  
  
She nodded. "Over and over again, the night I left her. Oh Hera, what have I done? I hurt her so much worse than Aresia could have. How can she look at me again?"  
  
Superman smiled. "I think you'd be surprised."  
  
____________________________  
  
Audrey left the Madrid nightclub a scant thirty minutes after she'd arrived. Her father had suggested a completely new city. The Spanish city did not summon memories of happier times with Diana the way Paris or the Kasnian capital did, but her loneliness did not leave her.  
  
"Where would you like to go next, Princess?" a member of her security team asked. It was the first time they'd been called upon in two weeks. She'd wandered the halls of her home since the breakup. She'd sat in on so many meetings of state with her father that he'd asked her if she was ill.  
  
"Anywhere," she sighed miserably. The gaiety inside had wounded her, and the forced smiles had required more energy than she had.  
  
Her bodyguards looked at one another. If this kept up, it might be a first for them - a slow night.  
  
As she sat quietly in the back of her limousine, four burly men sitting across from her, she looked out the window and saw the taxicab parked next to them. That first night in Paris, hadn't they escaped from her detail with just such a distraction? The memory drew a tear to her eye.  
  
Then she was gone.  
  
Her disappearance was so sudden that her guards were caught completely flat-footed. It took a few seconds for their brains to comprehend that missing princess plus open door meant she had made a dash for it.  
  
Stumbling out, they were drawn up short by the sight of her sitting calmly in the back of a nearby taxi. She looked at them. "It's not the same," she said. "Could we just drive around for a while?"  
  
They scratched their heads and led her back to her car.  
  
________________________________________  
  
Audrey was focused on trying to breathe. The wind seemed intent on stealing the oxygen from her lungs, and the scenery whizzed by in a dark blur. She had been grabbed forcibly from her ride, and she was completely at a loss for what had happened to her.  
  
Her stomach lurched as she came to a complete stop. She swayed a moment, and felt a hand right her. "Who?" she gasped, turning to see who had taken her, but they were already gone.  
  
Pounding music throbbed through the walls of the darkened room she was in. She turned this way and that, trying to understand what had happened to her and where she'd been taken. "Hello?" she called out. "What do you want from me?!"  
  
"Forgiveness?"  
  
Audrey's heart leapt into her throat. "D-Diana?" she asked.  
  
Diana emerged from the shadows. She was dressed in red and blue, but not the uniform she was so well known for. She had on tight blue jeans that accentuated her legs, and a spaghetti-strap red top. Her hair was clipped in a ponytail. "Sorry about the ride," she apologized. "Superman didn't want me to wait. And the Martian Manhunter is currently being driven around Madrid in disguise, so we have plenty of time."  
  
"Is that what you want forgiveness for?" Audrey asked crossly, turning away even as the beauty of Wonder Woman made her tremble. "For abducting me?"  
  
"No," Diana said. "For breaking your heart."  
  
"It's yours," Audrey told her casually, waving a hand. "Now take me back."  
  
"I broke my heart too, you know," Diana replied carefully. "And I think the pieces got a little mixed up, because you still have some of my heart. I thought maybe the two of us could put them back together?"  
  
Audrey closed her eyes. "Is this merely an apology, or are you asking for something more?" she asked.  
  
"I was wrong," Diana whispered. "I was wrong on a level I never would have believed. I was wrong to end our relationship because I thought I knew what was better for you than you did. It's a problem of mine, apparently - thinking I have all the answers." She approached Audrey so that there were only a couple inches between them. "I was wrong to think I could live without you."  
  
"What about the next time something happens to me?" Audrey asked, even though her heart was screaming at her to jump into Diana's arms. "What happens the next time you make a unilateral decision that we shouldn't see each other again?"  
  
"For one thing," Diana said, "I won't ever make a decision about us without you. And if something else were to happen to you, I'd just have to save you again. The whole League would. They know how much you mean to me."  
  
"And," the heroine added, "you hear that music?"  
  
Audrey nodded.  
  
"There's a dance floor down there," Diana said, nodding toward a door Audrey could see now that she'd adjusted to the dim lighting. "And a lot of women are on it. You and I, we'd blend right in, if you're up for some dancing. And if someone happens to spot us inside . . . if the world finds out, then I guess the barn door is open, and the animals are running free."  
  
"Is that American slang?" Audrey asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I think so," Diana said, smiling.  
  
Audrey nodded. "That assumes I'm ready for my people to learn this about me."  
  
"We can do whatever you want," Diana said immediately. "If you want to go somewhere private, that's fine. I just - I need you back. I can't go on living my life without you. My home isn't Themiscyra. It's not even the Watchtower. It's wherever you are."  
  
The petite woman smiled tremulously. "I told my father about us."  
  
Diana gasped. "He knows?"  
  
"Well, he was obviously worried about me, especially after I started moping," Audrey said. "He was surprised, and then he thought it might be a phase, and then he was angry."  
  
"And now?"  
  
"Now he thinks a queen should have an army, and in you I have quite an army," Audrey teased. "Also that he's never been able to control me before, so why try now when he could see how much I loved you? Now that we're back together, though, he's going to want to speak with you. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean you get to skip the fatherly interrogation," she informed her, grinning.  
  
Diana chuckled, and then she froze. "Now that we're back together?" she asked.  
  
"You actually thought I might say no?"  
  
"I hurt you."  
  
"And now it's stopped," Audrey said simply.  
  
Diana picked her up and spun her around. "Diana!" Audrey squealed. "I have been carried around enough tonight. Once more and I will become nauseous!"  
  
"Sorry!" Diana apologized.  
  
"So," Audrey said, Diana holding her in her arms, "why don't we go down there and show everyone how true lovers dance?" And she smiled wickedly.  
  
"Corrupting me?" Diana asked.  
  
"You brought me here, darling. Don't even try being the innocent one here."  
  
Diana gave her a sultry look. "You have corrupted me, infiltrated me, and gotten into my blood, Audrey."  
  
"You make me sound so evil," Audrey purred. "Whatever will they say of the Justice League now?"  
  
"Catwoman was rummaging through our freezer," Diana reminded her. "So it's not like you're the only bad apple in the barrel."  
  
"So I'm rotten now!" Audrey laughed. "Some poetess you are!"  
  
"Remind me to read Sappho to you in the original Greek," Diana said.  
  
There would be no photographs or stories in the papers after that night, but it was no less memorable for either woman.  
  
The End. (To be continued??)  
  
Author's Note: I ought to thank the creators of JL, not only for a much improved second season, but also for writing Maid of Honor the way they did. A few minor changes would have removed all possibility of this story's creation.  
  
Now it's over, and whether or not there's a sequel depends on your response. I strongly urge my readers to either email me, or post a review at Fanfiction.net, if you want to see a sequel. If I see a lack of interest, I have other stories that can use the additional time.  
  
If you like, you could also let me know if you would continue to be interested in a post-Bridesmaid JL story even if Diana and Audrey are only supporting characters, rather than the stars.  
  
Thank you for your readership, and please, if only this one time, speak up if you care. 


End file.
